Undertow
by ncismom
Summary: A long buried secret from Tony's childhood threatens to destroy him; can Gibbs keep him from going under? Chapters 17 and 18 are up! Story is COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Title: Undertow

**Author: ncismom**

**Characters: Tony DiNozzo, Jethro Gibbs, Dr. Rachel Cranston**

**Spoilers: Season 9: takes place after "Nature of the Beast"**

**Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort**

**Summary: A long buried secret from Tony's childhood threatens to destroy him; can Gibbs save him from going under?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS; I only wish I did!**

Part 1

Tony DiNozzo felt like he'd been running for years when in fact he'd only been running for a little over thirty minutes. He had jogged off and on all his life but ever since he had returned from Somalia almost two years ago, Tony had become a fervent runner to the point that running had almost become like a drug; it was a rush that helped cleanse his mind and his body, giving him a release like nothing else could. _Well, almost nothing_, he thought to himself.

His mind drifted to EJ. Their relationship had been the proverbial shot in the arm that he had so desperately needed; it had been nice to have someone who seemed to understand him and didn't try and make him become something he wasn't. Tony had been able to take off the mask that he constantly wore and be himself and he would always be grateful to her for that; he just wished that he would have had the chance to tell her exactly what she had meant to him. She had been shot and her body had not been found; he didn't want to believe she was dead, but as time marched on, the possibility of her being alive was dwindling every day.

He glanced at his watch as turned down the street by the river. Tony had already run nearly four miles and he at least had two more to go before he turned back towards home. Gibbs would probably kill him if he knew that he was out running while he was still suffering from the effects of the concussion that he had sustained last week but he had to do something or he was going to go stir crazy sitting in his apartment thinking about the past few months; besides, Rachel had been the one to tell him that maybe he needed to get out and get some fresh air and he wasn't about to disobey the doctor.

Dr. Rachel Cranston had come into his life unexpectedly a few months ago and had forced him to take a look at himself. When he figured out that she was Kate's sister, he had understood why she had seemed to relentlessly pursue him; she was taking the opportunity to tell him some things that Kate never had a chance to and Rachel's words had meant a lot to him. Their paths had crossed again when Gibbs had brought her in to help him regain his memory and now, he was seeing her on a professional basis. Tony had to admit that talking with her was helping him come to several realizations but if he were honest with himself, he was scared of discovering the real Anthony DiNozzo.

A blood-curdling scream shook him from his thoughts, stopping him dead in his tracks. On the dock, a distraught young lady was peering into the murky water, desperately yelling for her son. Tony sprinted towards her, his legs burning from the exertion, but he pushed himself even harder as he neared the hysterical mother.

"Adam! Adam!" she continued to shout. "Somebody help me! My baby!"

"Ma'am?" Tony touched her arm in an effort to get her attention. "What's wrong?"

"My son, Adam," she sobbed. "He fell in! He can't swim!"

Without hesitation, Tony dove into the water and began searching for the missing boy. The shrieks of the boy's mother faded as he swam deeper into the river; he found himself praying that Adam hadn't drifted far and would be easy to find. Tony was determined to save this boy; he had seen enough death this week and if he had any say in the matter, no one else would die.

His eyes were burning and he was going to have come up for air soon. _Please God! Please let me find him! _For the first time in a long time, it seemed like God had heard his prayer. Adam's shirt was snagged on a discarded pile of wood underneath the pier; the boy's motionless form and his fixed stare brought back images of a similar rescue when he had pulled Gibbs and Maddie out of a submerged car on that cool, fall day. He pushed the memory back into the recesses of his mind as he fought to free Adam; time was running out and Tony knew that he had to act fast.

It took only a few seconds to free Adam but it seemed like an eternity before he broke the surface with the tiny figure in his arms. He deposited Adam onto the pier and climbed up after him; Tony immediately checked for a pulse and then began CPR when he ascertained that the child didn't have a pulse or wasn't breathing. He tried to block out the mother's frantic cries as a crowd gathered around him, watching him as he struggled to save Adam's life.

"Did anyone call 911?" he asked between compressions.

"The paramedics are on their way," a bystander shouted out.

"Does anyone else know CPR?" Tony wasn't sure how long he could keep going; exhaustion was creeping upon him but he couldn't give in to the desire to rest, at least not right now. He was grateful when he heard the sirens blaring in the distance, growing louder as they drew closer to the pier.

As he prepared to deliver two more breaths to Adam, the boy began to cough and Tony immediately rolled him over on to his side. Adam's mother grabbed her son and pulled him close to her, vowing never to let him out of her sight again. Tony sat back on his haunches and watched the tearful reunion. Although he was thankful that everything had worked out for Adam and his mother, he couldn't ignore the nagging feeling that was starting to plague him; the agent figured that the adrenaline rush had worn off a little quicker than normal and he was experiencing the aftereffects.

As the EMT's coerced the lady into giving up her son so they could examine him, Tony forced himself to his feet and raked his fingers through his wet hair. The mother came over to him; a smile had replaced the expression of terror that had been etched in her lovely features a few moments ago.

"Thank you so much. I don't know how I can ever thank you for saving Adam's life," she said.

_Adam!_

Tony stared at the disheveled mother, wondering who had called out Adam's name. "I uh…I…you're welcome," he finally replied.

"I don't even know your name."

"Tony. Tony DiNozzo."

"I'm Maggie Bryson and I guess you know my son."

Tony tiredly laughed. "Yeah, we've met."

"How can I repay you?"

There was no way anyone could put a price tag on a human life. Tony smiled at the disheveled woman and replied, "Just love your son."

"I do; I don't know what…I just turned my back for a second," Maggie tried to reason, her eyes brimming with tears.

"I wasn't trying to cast blame; I didn't mean to sound like I was. I just meant that I didn't expect any kind of payment; it's reward enough to know that Adam's alive."

_Adam! Adam!_

Tony stared at Maggie, confusion emanating from his piercing orbs. "Did you say something? I heard someone call your son's name."

Maggie shook her head. "I didn't hear anything."

"I guess I still have water in my ears," he joked, trying to explain the voice that only he seemed to be hearing.

"Thanks again," Adam's mother said as she placed a kiss on his cheek.

"You're welcome."

Tony made his way through the crowd, barely acknowledging the pats on the back and the encouraging words that were offered by the onlookers. Glancing at his watch, he knew he needed to get back home and change out of his wet clothes but he no longer had the energy to walk back the four miles to his apartment; as much as he hated the thought, he was going to have call someone for a ride. Reaching in the pocket of his sweatpants, he pulled out his cell phone; of course, the waterlogged piece of equipment was useless as was the money and credit cards in his wallet. Tony was surprised that he didn't lose his belonging during his unexpected swim; maybe he could salvage a few things and not have to replace them.

He continued to stare at the phone in his hand, shaking his head in disbelief. "Great," he muttered. "Guess I'll be walking home after all."

"Sir?"

He turned to see one of the paramedics running to catch up with him. Tony knew that they probably wanted to check him over as well, but he just wanted to go home. He brushed off the EMT as he started his journey home. "I'm fine."

"We'd like to be the judge of that, sir," the paramedic said, handing him a blanket from the ambulance.

Taking the blanket, he wrapped it around his shoulders, grateful for the little bit of warmth that it offered. "I'm fine. Thanks."

"Are you refusing treatment?"

Tony pulled the blanket tighter. "Yes and I'll sign whatever you need me to sign; I just want to go home and get a hot shower."

"But…"

"Have you got a cell phone on you?" he asked, purposely redirecting the subject.

The paramedic handed Tony his cell phone. He debated on whom to call and decided he would call the one person who wouldn't ask too many questions; hopefully he could catch Palmer before he left for work. He breathed a sigh of relief when the ME's assistant answered on the second ring. Tony briefly explained what happened and where he was and just as he had hoped, Palmer didn't ask for an elaborate explanation; instead he merely told him that he would pick him up at the pier in ten minutes.

Tony hung up and handed the phone back to the EMT who had retrieved the paper he would have to sign releasing the paramedics of any liability. Other than being a bit chilled and the dull ache that had been present in his head for about a week, he was fine; of course, he was tired, but that was to be expected. Tony recalled that it had taken him a couple of days to get over the last underwater rescue he had executed and he figured this time wouldn't be any different, especially since he was still recovering from a concussion as well.

Sitting on the curb, he rested his head on his knees, waiting for Palmer to arrive. Tony briefly considered taking a short nap but quickly decided that it wouldn't be a good idea; however, as soon as he got home and took a shower, he was going back to bed. He had one more day off before he was supposed to return to work and his only goal the rest of the day was to relax.

_Adam! My baby! Help!_

Tony's head jerked up at the sound of the distant voice. He glanced around to see that nearly everyone that had gathered around the pier had dispersed as the ambulance headed towards the hospital. There was no one around him who could have said anything; the voice that he heard was in his mind. "Just what I need on top of everything else," he mumbled under his breath. "Now I'm hearing voices; wait until the Doc hears about this."

He saw Palmer pull up and Tony was able to forget about the haunting voice, at least for now. Pushing himself up off the ground, he walked over to the passenger side of Jimmy's car and opened the door to discover a couple of towels laying on the seat and the heater going full blast. "I figured you might need them," Jimmy stated as he handed the towels to him.

"I got a blanket from the paramedics; just spread them over your seat so I don't get it too wet," he instructed, knowing that he wasn't doing a good job hiding the weariness that was beginning to overwhelm him.

After the towels were situated over the seat, Tony slid in and shut the door. He held his hands in front of the vents in an effort to get warm. "Thanks, Jimmy. I just kind of ran out of steam."

"You're welcome. I know that you'd do the same thing for me, if I had jumped in the river and saved someone's life; of course, I'd have to learn how to swim first," Palmer mused.

Tony grinned at his colleague and then closed his eyes and laid his head against the window. Although he could sense Jimmy's concern, Palmer didn't press him to talk and he deeply appreciated the younger man's willingness to simply be his friend. Over the years, he and Palmer had developed a unique and unexpected friendship and now, Tony considered the ME's assistant to be one of his best friends.

Within a couple of minutes, Palmer pulled up outside his apartment building. Feeling the car come to a stop, Tony opened his eyes and sat up. "Thanks, Jimmy."

"Any time. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," he tiredly replied. "That little swim just took a lot out of me."

"That was a brave thing to do, Tony; you're a hero."

He shook his head. "No, Jimmy; I'm not a hero. I'm just a guy who was in the right place at the right time."

"It took a lot of courage for you to jump in that river and save a complete stranger; I mean not everyone would do that and…"

Tony silenced Palmer with a wave of his hand. "Let's just drop it, Jimmy; I'm too tired to do this. Anyway, I better get going so you're not late for work."

"I'm sure that Dr. Mallard will understand when I tell him…"

"That's another thing; let's keep this between us. I've caused enough excitement around NCIS this week; I don't want to be the topic of the scuttlebutt again."

"I don't understand," Palmer said.

Not wanting to explain his reasoning, Tony hoped that Palmer would just honor his request for the sake of friendship. "I just don't want a big deal made out of this; please don't say anything."

"I won't," the ME assistant promised.

Tony opened the door and got out of the car. As he shut the door, he thanked Palmer once again and slowly made his way up the stairs to his apartment. When he felt better, he would give Jimmy a better explanation as to why he didn't want anyone at NCIS to know about his heroic efforts, provided that he could think of a plausible reason.

Fumbling in his pocket for the keys, he managed to pull them out of the soaked pants and unlocked the door. As he entered the living room, he began to strip out of the wet clothes as he headed to the shower and within seconds he was standing under the near scalding water, allowing it to cascade over his taut body. Tony felt the tension begin to ebb away; the stress of the morning was going down the drain, leaving behind the weariness that he had been battling since the rescue.

He remained in the shower a few more minutes before getting out. Quickly drying off, Tony slipped on a pair of sweat pants and a sweatshirt and crawled into bed, pulling his comforter up around his neck; it felt good to be warm again. He began to drift off, his mind replaying what had happened the morning; as he allowed darkness to claim him, Tony's dreams turned to another time and another place.

_Tony stood in the shadows watching the dark haired boy as he sat huddled on the pier, his arms wrapped around his legs as he tried to make himself invisible to everyone gathered around him, especially his parents. He could hear the boy's mother sobbing and the sound of her heart-wrenching cries brought tears to the child's eyes. Couldn't she see that she was upsetting her child? _

_Tony had arrived in time to see someone pulling the child out of the river, saving the boy from a near drowning; however, no one seemed to be worried about the boy at the moment. All the attention was on the weeping woman and Tony couldn't understand why no one was taking care of the boy._

_He heard the voice of the boy's father trying to soothe his mom, but his dad had not uttered a word to the child. Didn't they realize that he needed to be comforted too? Tony could see that the child was cold, wet, and tired, and to top it all off, the young boy obviously had no idea what was going on._

_Someone had set the boy on the pier and had asked him if he were all right; despite coughing up some water, he gave a cursory nod to his rescuer who left him alone and returned to the crowd surrounding his parents. Tony continued to observe the boy who was now sitting alone, waiting for his mom and dad to come and assure him that everything was all right; he couldn't help but wonder just how long the child was going to have to wait._

_He saw a glimmer of hope flicker across the boy's face as his father finally made his way over to him. The boy sat up straight as his dad approached him as if he were expected to keep up a certain appearance even when something tragic had evidently occurred. _

_Tony took a step closer as the boy's father knelt down beside him; unable to see the man's face, he would have to settle for being able to hear what was being said to the lad. He had a feeling that this child bore the weight of the world on his shoulders and that the weight was about to get a lot heavier. _

_The older man's expression portrayed both sorrow and anger and Tony could tell that the boy want to run and hide. When the father finally spoke, there was fear evident in the child's expressive orbs. "I need to ask you a question," his father said._

"_What is it?" the boy nervously asked._

"_I need to know what happened."_

_By the blank stare that the boy was bestowing upon his father, Tony figured that the boy had no idea what his dad was talking about. Looking at his wet clothes, the small child shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. "I must have fallen in the river. I was just watching the ducks and…"_

"_And what?"_

"_And I guess I fell in." _

"_You guess you fell in?" his dad bellowed. "This isn't about you! Where's Adam?"_

_Tony flinched at the mention of the familiar name. "Adam?" he mumbled to himself. _

_He was shaken from his thoughts as the mother came running over to the child and grabbed him by his shoulders. Tony started to go to the boy, but some kind of invisible force was holding him back. _

"_Please," the woman begged. "Tell me where he is!"_

_The sight of his mother, distraught and disheveled, was clearly frightening her son. Although, Tony couldn't see her face either, he could imagine the expression that had to be etched in her features in order to terrify the boy in such a manner. _

"_Where who is, Momma?" the child timidly asked. _

"_Adam," she blurted out. "Where's Adam?"_

_Tony shuddered at the sound of that name again. He wrapped his arms around him to ward off the chill that seemed to envelop him. Where they talking about the boy that he had just rescued? He never saw another child at the scene and the boy's father had been nowhere around; the whole scenario was different yet familiar and Tony had no idea what was real and what was a figment of his imagination._

_The mother began to scream over and over as she shook the boy. "Adam! Adam! Adam!" _

_The boy was trying to pull away from her. She was clearly hurting him and no one was doing anything to stop her; Tony knew he had to do something before the boy's mother did something she regretted. _

_He began to run towards the boy, the mother's screams resonating in his mind. Tony had to save him; he had to save Adam. No wait, that wasn't right. He had saved Adam; Tony had to save this nameless child who definitely needed someone in his corner. _

_His mind was becoming muddled as the image before him began to fade until he was surrounded by the darkness. Tony stopped in his tracks and began to look around but he could see nothing in the black void before him. _

"_Hello?" he called out. "Is anybody out there?"_

_A child's voice echoed through the gloom, shattering the silence that had suddenly surrounded Tony. "Help me! Help me!"_

"_Adam!"_

"Adam!" Tony sat up, sweat rivulets streaming down his face. His heart was pounding and he felt like he was going to be sick. Putting his hand on his chest, he tried to slow down his breathing. After a few seconds, he blew out a long breath and wiped his face.

Tony silently chastised himself. He should have expected nightmares; the agent had experienced them after he had rescued Gibbs and Maddie so he should have expected it after saving Adam this morning. However, this particular dream hadn't been like his previous ones and that unnerved him.

After he had saved Gibbs and Maddie, Tony had suffered from nightmares for a couple of weeks. The scenarios would play out differently but the results were always the same. In his dreams, he had been unable to save the team leader or the girl and it had taken him a while before he could sleep the entire night through; Tony suddenly wasn't looking forward to the next few nights.

He was still having problems dealing with Cade's death and EJ's supposed death and now he was going to have to add the stress of nightmares that had been triggered by his heroic efforts. Maybe going back to work was what he needed; he could focus on his job instead of trying to figure out how to keep his nightmares at bay.

The ringing of his phone interrupted his thoughts; it was a good thing that he still maintained a landline since his cell phone was no longer functioning thanks to his earlier swim in the river. He fumbled for the phone and finally managed to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Agent DiNozzo?"

Tony smiled at the voice that had become his anchor this past week. "Dr. Cranston, how's it going?"

"I should be asking you that," the psychiatrist pointed out.

"Oh, well; I'm okay. Just taking it easy before I go back to work."

"Really?" she pressed. "That's not what the news said."

The knot in Tony's stomach tightened. "The news?"

"The news is hailing you as a hero after you saved a little boy from drowning," Rachel continued. "You've not had an easy week and I was just making sure that _you_ were doing all right."

Tony scrubbed his face, thankful that she wasn't calling to chastise him. "Yeah, I'm fine. For now," he added.

"What do you mean for now?"

"Just what I said. I'll be fine until Gibbs gets a hold of me."

"You don't think he'll be proud of you?"

"It's not that," Tony said. The thought that Gibbs would be proud of him brought a tiny smile to his face. "It's just that he'll probably kill me when he finds out that I didn't call him and he had to see it on the news."

"I don't think it'll be that bad."

As if on cue, his call waiting indicated that he had another call coming in. Glancing at the caller ID, he shook his head in defeat. "We're about to find out; if you don't hear from me in the next fifteen minutes, call Ducky."

As Tony prepared to answer the call, he considered the possibility that perhaps Gibbs didn't know what had happened. Of course, that was wishful thinking because he was knew from experience that the team leader would know exactly what had happened and probably was also aware that he left the scene without being checked out by the paramedics.

Taking a deep breath, he answered the call. "Hey Boss, what's up?"

**And here's the second new story, unless you read this one first. LOL I really can't wait to know what you guys think. Thanks to AZGirl for being my beta on this and my sounding board! Any remaining mistakes you find are mine!**


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

"Pick up the phone, DiNozzo."

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs muttered a curse under his breath; if his senior field agent knew what was good for him, he would answer his phone. The team leader had arrived at work early in hopes of finishing up some paperwork that DiNozzo usually took care of but since Tony was still out on sick leave, Gibbs had decided to do the younger man a favor and finish it before he returned. Of course, that was before he discovered, courtesy of the morning news, that Tony had taken an early morning swim resulting in the rescue of a small child.

He was proud of the fact that Tony had been able to save the boy, but he couldn't help but worry that his unexpected dip would hinder his recovery. DiNozzo had been shot and had received a moderate concussion, an outcome of an elaborate set up; although Tony had been wearing his vest, the concussion and the subsequent trauma had affected his memory forcing him to consider the possibility that he had shot another NCIS agent. Gibbs knew that he hadn't been easy on Tony during that time, but DiNozzo had understood the reason why he had pushed the younger man so hard. Fortunately, Tony had remembered everything that had happened and he had been cleared of any suspicion.

Gibbs was aware that his senior agent was still dealing with the fact that EJ Barrett's body had yet to be recovered. Despite his warnings to DiNozzo, the agent had pursued a romantic relationship with her, and although the flames of passion had dwindled, Tony had still cared deeply for her. Tony had told him that it was the not knowing that he was having problems dealing with; Gibbs understood what the other agent was going through and silently wished that he could spare his senior agent the all too familiar pain.

Dr. Rachel Cranston had suggested that Tony was more than likely experiencing a little bit of survivor's guilt, which was normal considering the circumstances. The Marine usually had a strong aversion to shrinks but he respected Kate's sister. He wasn't sure if his respect was because of their mutual ties to Kate or because she understood the dynamics of his team so well, but in the end, all that mattered was that she was finding a way to get through to Tony. He was aware that DiNozzo had started seeing her on a professional basis and he could only hope that Tony could find the answers that he had been looking for.

Growing impatient, the team leader fished his keys out of his pocket and was preparing to head to Tony's apartment when DiNozzo answered on the fourth ring. He breathed an inward sigh of relief upon hearing his senior agent's voice.

"Hey Boss, what's up?" Tony asked with forced casualness.

It was probably a good thing that DiNozzo wasn't standing right beside him. Tony's attempt at trying to pretend that nothing had happened would have definitely earned him a head slap or two. "I just saw the news, DiNozzo," he informed his agent.

"The news?"

He could almost see the wheels turning in DiNozzo's mind as he searched for a way to explain what had happened. Gibbs had already figured out that Tony had been on his morning run despite instructions from him and his doctor to rest; sometimes DiNozzo's seemingly lack of self-preservation could be infuriating. "Yep," he replied.

"The media doesn't waste any time, do they?"

"Nope."

"Look Gibbs, I'm sorry I didn't call you but I…"

"Before your tongue gets ahead of your brain, DiNozzo, just answer one question."

"Okay."

"Are you all right?" he wanted to know.

Gibbs could tell by Tony's silence that he had taken the younger man by surprise with his inquiry regarding his health. He figured that DiNozzo was expecting a tongue lashing, but the team leader had decided that he needed to make sure his senior field agent was all right before he reamed him out. "Tony?" Gibbs pressed. "You still there?"

"Uh yeah," Tony finally managed to answer. "I'm here and I'm fine."

That was exactly the response that he had expected and one that DiNozzo gave him; no matter how many years passed, there were some things that never changed. "Did you get checked out by the paramedics?"

"The paramedics?"

Tony's hesitancy to answer provided Gibbs with all he needed to know. DiNozzo had left the scene either before the EMT's had arrived or had denied their request to examine him; knowing Tony, either scenario was a possibility. He pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head in frustration. "I take that as a no."

"Gibbs, I'm fine," Tony attempted to reassure him. "I just wanted to get home and get out of my wet clothes; I was planning on seeing Ducky when I came back to work."

"You can come down later this morning and let him check you over today."

"I…"

"This isn't open for discussion, Tony. I still remember what happened after your last swim in the river; your supposed cold almost turned into pneumonia. You're lucky Duck caught it in time."

"But Gibbs," Tony protested. "I wasn't in the water that long and…"

"Consider it an order."

"All right," Tony reluctantly conceded.

Gibbs could hear Tony clear his throat and he recognized the nervous habit as a prelude to a question that DiNozzo didn't want to ask; sometimes the younger man's insecurities would resurface and Gibbs realized that he had Secretary Jarvis to thank for this latest episode. The lead agent trusted Jarvis even less that he trusted Davenport and the agent knew that DiNozzo would never trust SecNav again, not that he ever totally trusted Jarvis to begin with. Tony had told him that he was getting tired of being everyone's pawn and Gibbs had made a vow that he would never allow his senior field agent or anyone else on his team to be used for someone else's personal agenda.

"So, are you mad that I didn't call you?" Tony wanted to know. "I mean, I was going to call you, but I came home and took a shower and then I fell asleep; I woke up and about the time I picked up the phone, Rachel, I mean Dr. Cranston called and then you…"

The team leader debated for a few seconds as to whether he should let Tony keep rambling or let him off the hook. He didn't doubt that Tony had planned on telling him about what had happened, but DiNozzo would more than likely leave out a few details; Tony had a way of skirting around the truth in order to keep others from worrying about him. Although Gibbs would never admit it out loud, he was concerned about Tony. The younger man was like a son to him and a father always worried for his child.

"DiNozzo," he interrupted.

"Shutting up, Boss."

A sly smile escaped his lips. "I'm a little pissed, DiNozzo," he informed the younger agent. "But I imagine that I'll get over it."

He heard Tony breathe a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Gibbs."

"Don't thank me yet."

"Why's that?"

Gibbs didn't offer an explanation; instead he simply informed Tony that he would be over in a few minutes. He figured that Tony wasn't thrilled about the prospect of company, but he wanted to see for himself that the other agent was truly all right; then after they ate, he'd escort him to the Navy Yard and to autopsy to see Ducky. "I'm coming over; you better have some coffee ready." Gibbs hung up and slipped the phone back in his pocket.

As he started towards the elevator, he rounded the corner and came face to face with Ziva and McGee. Gibbs looked at his watch and then stared disapprovingly at the other members of his team. "You're both late," he snapped.

He rolled his eyes as Ziva and McGee began to simultaneously offer their excuses. Gibbs really wasn't interested in what they had to say, he just wanted them to sweat a little. They tended to give DiNozzo a lot of grief whenever he was late and the team leader decided that today would be a good day to return the favor.

The former Marine silenced them with his infamous glare. "I'm sure you both have work to do; I'm going out for a bit."

"When will you be back?" McGee asked.

"When I get back," he testily replied.

Gibbs got into the elevator and pushed the button that would take him to the parking level. Leaning against the wall, he took a sip of his coffee and allowed his mind to replay the conversation that he had just had with Tony. DiNozzo sounded fine, but Gibbs couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right. He couldn't explain it but the younger man had seemed…off. Maybe it was simply that he was tired from the rescue but Gibbs wasn't convinced that was the case; he just hoped that seeing Tony would put his mind at ease.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Crap!" Tony muttered as he hung up the phone. He had planned on spending the rest of the day relaxing and indulging himself in a John Wayne marathon, but thanks to a twist of fate, he was not going to get his wish; Gibbs would make sure of that. The last thing he wanted to do was to spend his last day off being poked and prodded by Ducky while Gibbs stood guard, making sure that the ME didn't miss anything. However, at this point, it didn't look like he had a choice.

He stood up and hastily straightened his bed from his impromptu nap, a habit that stemmed from his time in boarding school where neatness and orderliness was insisted upon; Tony found himself wishing that his life was as tidy and organized as his home. Picking up the phone, he made his way into the kitchen to make sure that he had some of Gibbs' special blend of coffee. Satisfied that he had enough to make a pot, he measured out the coffee and started the coffeemaker so it would be ready for Gibbs' arrival. Surprised how exhausted he felt after performing that simple chore, he walked into the living room and collapsed on the couch.

"I must be more tired than I thought."

Tony picked up the handset and stared at the numbers; he needed Rachel since he had promised to call her back so she would know that Gibbs hadn't killed him yet. As the phone began to ring once again, Tony knew that phone call to Dr. Cranston would have to wait. He glanced at the caller ID to see that his dad was calling him; as Tony prepared to answer, he sincerely hoped that his father wasn't calling to borrow money or to talk more about his birthday party. The man had been insufferable for the past month, calling him almost every week with more ideas about the party that he wanted Tony to throw for him; if that was what his dad wanted, the elder DiNozzo would more than likely receive a few choice words.

Blowing out a slow breath, he answered the phone. "Hey, Dad."

"Junior! Are you all right?" his dad asked.

"Uh…fine," Tony replied. "Why?"

"I just called the office and they told me that you've been out the past couple of weeks on medical leave; what's the matter?"

Tony laid his head back against the cushion; he was too tired to even contemplate his father's ability to be absolutely clueless when it came to anything pertaining to his life. "I was shot and had a concussion," he sighed.

"Shot? And you're home?"

"Bullet proof vest, Dad. They come in handy."

"Bullet proof vest?" the older man repeated, disbelief and uncertainty evident in his voice. "Why didn't you call me?"

He tamped down the urge to reach through the phone and strangle his father; sometimes his dad could be so damn infuriating. "I did. Did you bother checking your voice mail?"

"My voice mail?"

Tony raked his free hand through his hair. "Yeah dad, I called and so did Gibbs; we both left messages."

"Well, I didn't get them; of course, I have problems with this phone all the time."

It didn't come as a shock that his father would have an excuse; nothing was ever his fault. He wondered if there would ever come a time when his dad would ever start taking responsibility for his actions or lack thereof. "I'd get a new phone if I were you."

"I'll have to do that. Perhaps since I'm in D.C., you can come with me and help me pick one out," Senior suggested.

"Sure, Dad," he said, knowing that what his father meant was that Tony could take him and buy him a new one. It took a few seconds before he realized what his father had just said. "Wait a minute, you're in D.C.?"

"I have been for a couple of days; I have business to attend to."

"And you're just now calling me?" Tony realized that he truly shouldn't be surprised by anything his father did; Anthony DiNozzo, Senior lived life by his rules and damn everyone else.

"I told you, Junior," his dad said. "I've been very busy."

"Whatever," Tony mumbled. Why did he even waste his time trying to build a relationship with this man? It was obvious that getting to know his son was very low on his list of priorities. "Where are you staying?"

"At the Adams House."

"How are you affording that?" he wanted to know.

"I uh…I didn't say I was staying here alone."

Tony shook his head in frustration. "I don't want to know."

Senior cleared his throat and abruptly changed the subject. "So, what else have you been up to, Junior?"

"Nothing you'd be interested in," he snorted, not caring that he probably sounded like a petulant child.

"Of course I am, Anthony."

Before his could supply his dad with an answer, Senior cut him off abruptly. "Junior, I just saw someone on the news that looked a lot like you," his father informed him. "You saved a boy this morning? That's… that's incredible!"

"Yeah, I was jogging by the pier and this little boy named Adam fell in the river," Tony began to explain. "I happened to be at the right place at the right time; I jumped in and saved him."

Tony heard his dad clear his throat once again. "What did you say the boy's name was?"

"Adam." 

"And he's all right?"

"Yeah, he's fine."

There was an unexpected moment of silence from his father; Tony sat up, his expression reflecting the confusion that he was experiencing because of Senior's unresponsiveness. "Dad, are you there?"

"Yes, Anthony," his dad finally replied. "I've uh…got to go."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Junior."

Something was definitely amiss with his father; despite all their differences, Tony could tell when his dad was trying to hide something and now was one of those times. "Dad, you're acting strange."

"Nonsense, Anthony; I just remembered an appointment that I'm going to be late for if I don't get going. I'm glad you're all right; I'll call you later," Senior promised.

"Dad…"

The line went dead and Tony slung the phone down beside him in disgust. Whatever had rattled his dad would have to remain a mystery for now; his dad had always been a mystery to him and this was probably just one more thing that would be added to the layers of ambiguity that seemed to surround the elder DiNozzo.

Glancing at his watch, he mentally calculated that Gibbs would be at his apartment in less than five minutes, which gave him enough time to call Dr. Cranston. He picked up the phone one last time and dialed the familiar number. His call went to her voice mail and he quickly assured her that he was still among the living and that he would call her later.

With that being accomplished, he pushed himself up off the couch and walked over to his front door. Tony took one more look at his watch and started to count. "Five, four, three, two, one."

He opened the door and stood aside as Gibbs entered his living room. "Hey, Boss," Tony greeted. The dark haired man smiled as he realized that Gibbs wasn't the only one with skills; after being around the team leader all these years, he had learned to anticipate Gibbs' actions. "Coffee's almost ready, Boss."

"Good, my cup's empty," Gibbs stated as he handed Tony his cup. "You ready to go and see Ducky?"

"Gibbs, I really think it can wait until tomorrow; I feel fine," Tony insisted as he filled up the team leader's cup.

The older man stared at him, Gibbs' silent warning was screaming at him. The former Marine was not going to take no for an answer and Tony knew that there wasn't any use to offer any further protests. He handed the cup back to Gibbs and headed down the short hallway. "Let me grab my jacket."

Tony went back to his bedroom to get his coat. As he entered the room and was forced to grab a hold of the corner of his dresser as a myriad of images assaulted his mind. The visions were so jumbled that he couldn't discern any one particular thing except for the little dark haired boy of his earlier dream weeping loudly. He placed his hands over his ears in an effort to keep the cries of the child at bay but it was of no use; the voices continued to haunt him.

_Adam! Adam! Adam! _

He fought back the nausea that threatened to overwhelm him as the name of Adam continued to echo in his mind. _Adam! Adam! Adam! Where are you, Adam! You killed him! _

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs called out from the living room, forcing him back to his present reality. "Are you coming?"

Taking a shirt that had been lying across the foot of his bed, Tony wiped away the sweat that had formed on his forehead; if Gibbs saw him like this, he'd forget about taking him to Ducky and would go straight to the emergency room. The last thing he wanted was for his boss to think that he was losing his mind; he had given Gibbs enough grief the past few weeks and he didn't need to add fuel to the fire. "Yeah, I'm coming," he answered, hoping that his voice didn't betray the uncertainty and confusion that was starting to consume him.

He joined Gibbs and together the two of them headed out to the car. The team leader hadn't said much, but Tony figured that he was waiting to make sure that he was all right; then he would more than likely head slap him or give him the tongue lashing that Gibbs believed he deserved for trying to hide something this big from him. Of course, the Marine had no idea that Tony was keeping the fact that he was apparently hearing things from him; it seemed like the logical thing to do until he figured out what was going on. There had to be a reason for what was happening to him; he just had to figure out what that reason was.

**Just a reminder that this story takes place a couple weeks after "Nature of the Beast." Anyway, I was completely blown away by all the alerts and favorites that this story had been added to. Thank you all so much. A special thanks to everyone who read and everyone who took the time to review; you guys are awesome! Thanks again from the bottom of my heart. **

**A special thanks to AZGirl for being my sounding board and beta; any mistakes you see are mine! **


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

"This can't be happening! Not now!"

Anthony DiNozzo, Senior, finished the last of his drink and poured himself another one. Although it was normally too early for him to start drinking, this morning he had good reason; his present and his future were about to be destroyed by his past and at the moment, he wasn't sure what he could do to keep his life from spiraling out of control. He had been warned time and time again that he was going to regret the decisions that he had made that fateful day and it seemed like those predictions were about to come true; secrets were about to be exposed and he was genuinely afraid of the repercussions.

Senior noticed that the news was replaying the story about Tony rescuing a small child and his curiosity got the better of him as he turned up the volume. The child's name was Adam Miller and the boy's mother was hailing Tony as a true hero. Senior couldn't deny that his son had performed a courageous act, but he couldn't shake the feeling that Tony's bravery was about to unleash a fury that neither of them were prepared to face.

Grabbing the remote, Senior turned off the television and tossed it on the couch. Maybe he was overreacting; perhaps Tony hadn't made the connection and if that were that case, he didn't have anything to worry about. However, that thought didn't ease his mind and he couldn't help but worry that the walls that had been erected were about to come tumbling down.

He had to do something to keep the past buried; somehow he had to make sure that Tony didn't remember what had happened all those years ago.

Picking up the phone once again, he dialed Tony's number, hoping that his son was still at home. "Come on and answer, Junior," he mumbled to himself. He sighed in disgust when he got Tony's answering service. Senior waited for the annoying beep and then proceeded to leave a message.

"Junior, I'm…I'm sorry I had to cut our conversation short. I was hoping that we could have dinner later tonight; it'll be my treat. Call me when you get this message; I uh…hope you can make it; we have a lot to catch up on."

Senior hung up and began to pace again; the next move was up to Tony and it bothered him that his future wasn't in his hands. He decided that he couldn't sit idly by and wait for what could be his worst nightmare to unfold. Walking in his bedroom, he stole a glance at the young woman who was still sleeping in his bed; Senior figured that given the alcohol that she consumed the previous night, she would sleep the rest of the morning and into the afternoon. He would leave a note explaining that he was going out on a couple of errands and would be back later that evening with a surprise for her; Veronica was his latest meal ticket and he was going to make sure that he didn't do anything to mess up his latest business venture.

He quickly got dressed, scribbled a note, and left it for Veronica; carefully placing it under a rose, he leaned over and lightly kissed her forehead. She was indeed beautiful and her money could set him for life; after everything that he had been through the past few years, he certainly deserved something to go his way. Senior was going to have to call in a few favors if he was going to make sure that the past remained where it belonged; the fact that he may hurt his own flesh and blood in doing so was a price that he found himself willing to pay.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony was growing increasingly frustrated with the ME's poking and prodding; he knew that Ducky meant well and that was the only reason that he hadn't walked out of Autopsy. Of course, having Gibbs hover over him wasn't helping his already frazzled nerves; for a man who was usually so perceptive, the team leader obviously didn't have a clue that his presence was only adding to his growing stress level. Then again, knowing Gibbs, the older man knew exactly what he was doing and was enjoying every moment of his discomfort.

"Anthony, the sooner you cooperate, the sooner we'll be done," Ducky insisted, his cultured tone bearing the faintest hint of irritation.

"Duck, I'm fine," Tony protested, shivering slightly as the coolness of the room danced on his bare skin. "You have…"

The thermometer that Ducky slipped under his tongue prevented him from finishing his sentence. Tony rolled his eyes and sighed in disgust; he despised being fussed over. He realized that the ME only had his best interests in mind but that knowledge really didn't ease his almost phobic dislike of doctors. He wasn't sure why he was so uncomfortable around people in the medical profession, but Tony knew that his aversion to physicians dated back to his childhood. Other than his bout with the plague and that time he had been shot in Philly, he had managed to keep his contact with doctors to a minimum; that was until Ducky had appointed himself his personal physician.

"That'll be enough out of you," the ME warned. "Now, take a deep breath and exhale so I can listen to your lungs."

Tony obliged, knowing that a refusal would earn him a head slap and that the thermometer would end up across the room. Ducky ordered him to breathe in and out a few more times; he could tell by the concerned expression on the Scotsman's face that the doctor didn't like what he hearing.

"Your left lung is sounding a little congested, Tony," Ducky informed him.

He took the thermometer out of his mouth. "I feel fine."

Ducky took the thermometer from him and studied it. "You're also running a low grade temperature."

"But I feel fine," he forcibly repeated.

"I'm going to go ahead and put you on an antibiotic _and_ I want you to take a few extra days off."

"I'm supposed to come back tomorrow, Duck; I don't need a few more days off. I'm going stir crazy! All I've been doing is sitting around and watching TV."

"That's not true," Ducky countered. "You've been volunteering down at boys home, visiting the nursing home, and let's not forget, running on a daily basis. Really, Anthony, we know you a little too well to think that you've actually been taking it easy." The physician patted him on the knee and handed him his shirt. "Now, I'm not fussing because if you hadn't been running this morning, that little boy would be dead; I just wish that you would learn to take better care of yourself."

"Duck, I still don't want a few more days off; I _need_ to get back to work."

"The only think you _need_ to do, DiNozzo, is whatever Ducky tells you to do," Gibbs chimed in. "You've got plenty of leave; take it and…"

"I'll stay behind a desk," Tony tried to reason. "I've got a lot of paperwork to catch up on."

"It's already done," the team leader replied.

"What? Who?" He couldn't believe what Gibbs has just told him; no one voluntarily did his paper work. "Boss, please tell me that you didn't let Ziva or McGee do my paperwork," Tony pleaded.

Gibbs' steely gaze confirmed his worse fears. "Aw, Gibbs! Really? So, who will I have to thank when the Director throws it back in my face and tells me to redo it?"

"I guess you can thank me."

Tony's eyes narrowed. "You? What do you mean?"

"I caught up your paperwork."

He couldn't believe what he was hearing; Tony was the one who usually filed the team leader's reports and now Gibbs had returned the favor. "Uh, thanks, Boss."

"Anytime, DiNozzo."

"Really?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Nope."

Tony realized that his protests were futile; Gibbs and Ducky had laid down the law and expected him to follow it to the letter. As he slipped on his shirt, Tony saw the ME had given Gibbs his prescription; Ducky probably figured that he wouldn't get it filled and truthfully, he probably would have stuffed it in his pocket and conveniently forgotten about it.

"If I take the antibiotic, can I come back to work?" he pressed.

"I'll compromise," Ducky stated. "Two more days and when you come back, you stay confined to the bullpen."

"Deal." Tony knew when to cut his losses, so he readily agreed to the pact.

He slid off the exam table and grabbed his jacket. "So Anthony, how does it feel to be a hero?" Ducky wanted to know.

"I'm not a hero, Duck; I was in the right place at the right time."

"I'm sure that little Adam Miller would disagree."

_Adam! Adam!_

Tony swayed slightly and braced his arms against the table for support. Immediately, Gibbs and Ducky were on either side of him, supporting him as he struggled to keep his balance. After a couple of seconds, he waved them off and said, "I must have stood up too fast. I'm all right." He had no intention of telling the two men that he was hearing voices.

"And you wonder why I want you to take a couple of extra days," Ducky gently scolded. "You need to rest."

"I will," he promised.

"You better."

"Don't worry, Duck; I'll make sure of it," Gibbs said.

Gibbs' word seemed to satisfy the ME. Tony began to slowly make his way towards the elevator as Ducky asked Gibbs to stay behind just for a moment. Normally, he would wait for the team leader, but the walls seemed to be closing in on him and he desperately felt the need for some fresh air. He told the other agent that he would meet him at the car and as soon as the elevator doors closed, he slumped against the wall.

He was starting to think that he was losing his mind. This morning's events had clearly conjured up something deep in his psyche and he had to figure out what this particular mystery entailed; the only problem is that he didn't know where to begin. Was it something from his past that kept gnawing away at him or was this simply his mind's way of dealing with the daring rescue? Tony truly had no idea what was going on in his mind, but he had to find out before he and everyone else began to question his sanity.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

As soon as the elevator doors closed and Tony was out of hearing range, Gibbs turned his attention back to Ducky. "Cut to the chase, Duck; how is he?" the team leader demanded to know.

"If he rests and takes his antibiotics, he should be just fine," Ducky assured him. "I did hear a little congestion, but I don't think it's anything to worry about; you know that he has been more susceptible to colds and such, and although Tony has been healthy, the possibility that he would have problems has existed since his bout with the plague. Quite frankly, I'm surprised that he hasn't had more problems over the years."

"Yeah," Gibbs sighed.

"Is there something else concerning you, Jethro? I couldn't help but notice that you seemed…preoccupied," the ME observed.

There was no use in trying to pull the wool over Ducky's eyes; they had been friends too long for him to insult the ME by feigning ignorance. "Something's not right."

"What do you mean?' Ducky inquired.

He wasn't sure he could explain the feeling that currently had his infamous gut tied up in knots; all that he knew for sure was that despite Tony's attempts to reassure everyone that he was all right, there was something lurking in the depths that the younger man was trying to keep hidden.

Gibbs sat down on the nearby stool and took another sip of his coffee. "With Tony," the team leader continued. "I can't pinpoint what it is, but something is going on with DiNozzo; I'm not sure how to explain it except to say that something's definitely bothering him and I have no idea what it is."

"Jethro, Tony's been through a lot these past few months," Ducky reminded him. "Aside from the stress that working for Secretary Jarvis caused, he was shot and was forced to consider the possibility that he had shot another NCIS agent, plus Anthony is more than likely still dealing with the fact that E.J.'s body has not been found. I think it's rather normal that he seems a little off. I believe that the rescue this morning has left him exhausted and perhaps feeling a little vulnerable," the physician mused.

"Maybe," Gibbs conceded. He had to admit that Ducky had some valid points, but it didn't help assuage the uneasy feeling that was gnawing at him. "I don't know."

"Just keep an eye on him, and take it easy on him—at least for a couple of days," Ducky quickly added.

"I can't do that; it really throws DiNozzo for a loop if I'm too nice."

The ME laughed, but both men that his last words for true. He and DiNozzo had a unique relationship and their familial bond definitely had its quirks, but it was those quirks that allowed them to be so at ease with each other.

"I understand that, Jethro," Ducky said. "Just give him time and be there when he decides he wants to talk. Of course, if he doesn't open up to _you_ specifically, don't take it personally."

Confused, Gibbs asked, "What do you mean?"

"I do believe that Tony has found another confidante."

"You mean Dr. Cranston?"

Ducky nodded. "Yes," he answered.

The team leader wasn't exactly sure what Ducky was trying to insinuate but he truly didn't have a problem with Tony seeing Rachel on a professional basis; he was actually grateful that DiNozzo had found someone he could trust. "She's good for him," Gibbs admitted. "Keeps him grounded."

"Just like Kate used to do."

"Yeah," he conceded. "Just like Kate."

Tony and Kate's relationship had been a mystery. Gibbs had often wondered what would have happened between them if Kate had lived; they fought like siblings but the constant concern they had for one another indicated that given the right circumstances, their partnership would have evolved into more. He pushed these thoughts to the back of his mind; even after all these years, there was still a lot of unresolved guilt on his part regarding Kate's death and he couldn't allow himself to dwell on it; there were more pressing matters at hand such as what was troubling Tony.

He rose from his stool and threw his empty cup in the nearest trashcan. "Thanks, Duck," he mumbled as he headed towards the elevator.

"Remind Anthony that I'll check on him in a couple of days to make sure he's all right."

Gibbs nodded as he impatiently waited for the elevator. As the doors opened and he entered the lift car, he pushed the button that would take him to the parking area. He knew that Tony would be waiting for him and that DiNozzo was not going to be happy about being unable to return to work tomorrow. The team leader was more than prepared to deal with any arguments that the young man was going to throw his way, but he wasn't prepared to deal with the sight of his senior field agent sitting in the passenger's seat of his car, completely unaware of his presence.

DiNozzo was staring out the window, his fixed gaze betraying a hidden pain that he obviously didn't understand. Not wanting to startle Tony, Gibbs quietly opened the driver's side door and carefully slid in his seat; the dark haired agent was always aware of his presence, but at the moment, DiNozzo had no idea he was sitting beside him.

The team leader cleared his throat and quietly called to the man. "Tony? You all right?"

The lack of response troubled Gibbs to no end. He gingerly put his hand on Tony's shoulder to let him know that he was beside him. "Tony?"

DiNozzo startled and turned towards him. Gibbs could see the uncertainty and the fear etched in Tony's expression. "Where is he?" Tony asked, a hint of panic evident in his voice.

"Where's who?" Gibbs pressed.

"_Where is he?"_ Anger colored the edges of Tony's words.

"Tony, I don't know who you're talking about."

If he hadn't been so taken back by Tony's odd behavior, he might have considered head slapping the younger man in an effort to bring him back from whatever reality he was currently living in at the moment. However, this was the one time that he knew that his unconventional methods wouldn't work.

He shook Tony with a little more force than he wanted to but the action seemed to do the trick; DiNozzo blinked several times, his eyes finally coming to rest on the team leader. Tony's cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and Gibbs knew that the agent's mind was racing in an effort to offer an explanation as to what had just happened.

"Hey, Gibbs," Tony stammered.

"DiNozzo." Gibbs knew he had to proceed with caution; if he came across as too demanding, Tony would simply just clam up and he would never figure out what troubling the child of his heart. He wished that Ducky had been present so that he could have observe what had just happened; perhaps the ME would better understand what the team leader had been trying to explain to him earlier regarding Tony's behavior. "Are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah, Boss. I'm fine. I guess I was just daydreaming," Tony reasoned.

Gibbs wasn't buying his excuse but then again, he wasn't going to press the issue just yet; at least not too much. "You sure about that?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. I swear it."

He nodded despite the fact that he wasn't convinced that Tony was, as he put it, fine. The thin sheen of sweat on the man's forehead indicated otherwise, but he knew DiNozzo well enough to know that he wasn't going to get any answers right now. Gibbs started the car and pulled the gearshift into drive. "Ready to go home?"

"More than ready," Tony replied.

Gibbs pulled out in traffic and headed towards DiNozzo's apartment. Tony remained quiet during the ride home and that in itself was causing alarms to sound in the older man's mind. Perhaps when he got Tony settled, he would make a phone call to Dr. Cranston. Generally, he didn't seek help from shrinks, but she had helped DiNozzo once before and she had a good idea what was going on inside Tony's head. He realized that there were a lot of things that she couldn't tell him but maybe she could provide him a little insight.

The one thing that he knew for sure was that DiNozzo was in trouble. His senior agent…no, his son, was fighting an enemy that Gibbs couldn't see or reckon with. Something was pulling Tony under and he was determined to figure out exactly what it was before he lost DiNozzo forever; in his book, losing was not an option.

**I apologize for the length of the wait for this chapter, but real life was busy last week. I do hope you enjoyed the chapter and it was worth the wait. Thank you all for your support and loyalty. Just so you know, I'm working on the next chapter of Outside the Frame and hope to have it up this weekend. Thank you all again for everything!**


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to all who pm'd me and told me the chapter wasn't there. I've deleted it and uploaded it again. Hopefully, it's there this time! Thanks again!

Part 4

Tony threw his keys on the counter as he entered his apartment. Gibbs had just dropped him off and it had taken a lot of fast talking to convince the team leader that he didn't need to follow him upstairs; he was grateful that Gibbs had easily conceded, allowing him to regain the dignity that his earlier tirade had stolen from him. Tony was still having trouble remembering exactly what had happened when he had apparently zoned out, but Gibbs had recounted the scenario to him and although he knew the older man wouldn't lie to him, he was still having difficulty acknowledging the fact that he had permitted himself to drift off to another time and another place.

He had given Gibbs his word that he was fine. Tony could tell that the older man hadn't believed him and he couldn't blame his mentor for doubting him; he had a gift for understatement when it came to his physical and mental well-being and the Marine was all too aware of his tendency to downplay anything that would bring him unwanted attention. There were times that he wished he could drop the façade; some days it was tiring to live up to not only his personal expectations but to those that had others had created for him. Gibbs saw beyond the mask and that was what scared him; maybe that was why he desperately wanted to get some space between him and the team leader.

He all but collapsed on the couch, succumbing to the feeling of the soft leather as it seemingly enveloped his body. Tony decided that he was more than content to sleep on his couch tonight; he was beyond exhausted and at the moment, he didn't care if he slept through the rest of his days off. As he began to drift off, he found himself hoping that he wouldn't be subject to the dreams that seemed to be haunting him. The image of the scared little boy was permanently etched in his mind; the dark-haired child seemed so familiar yet as far as Tony knew, he was a stranger. What was it about the boy in his dreams that disturbed him?

The sound of his phone ringing startled him, forcing him once again back to the present. He was too tired to sit up and see who was calling him; Tony knew it wasn't Gibbs because the lead agent had already informed him that he would be calling at him at 1800. He had automatically converted the military time to what he dubbed as normal people's time, something that he had been doing since the first day he had met Gibbs.

After three rings, his answering machine picked up and he listened to his caller leave a message. Tony rolled his eyes at the familiar voice of his father; once again, his dad's timing left a lot to be desired. "Junior, this is the fifth time I've called. I want to take you to dinner tonight so call me. I've made reservations at your favorite restaurant, _George's_."

"That's _your_ favorite restaurant, Dad," he mumbled. "Not mine."

As soon as the call ended, the phone began ringing again. Tony pulled himself up and answered the phone; he didn't have to look at the caller ID to know that his father was calling him once again. "DiNozzo," he sharply answered.

"It's about time, Junior!" Senior exclaimed. "Didn't you get my other messages?"

"I just got home, Dad," Tony sighed.

"Oh. Well, change clothes and meet me at _George's,_" his dad instructed.

His father's single mindedness no longer surprised or bothered him, although Tony had a feeling that he should be upset at Senior's obvious disregard for his feelings or preferences. The man didn't even ask if he was all right, but Tony truly hadn't expected his father to remember that he was still recovering from the shooting and from the rescue this morning. "Not tonight, Dad," he managed to reply. "I'm just going to stay in and go to bed."

"Nonsense! You have to eat and I'm paying!"

"Feeling generous, Dad?" Tony challenged. Whenever his father offered to pay for anything, there was always an ulterior motive.

"I just want to have dinner with my son." Tony bit back a sharp retort; there wasn't a doubt n his mind that Senior had something up his sleeve. " Maybe we could talk," his father casually suggested.

"About what?"

"Anything you want to. Maybe you can tell me about how it feels to be a hero," Senior stated.

His dad obviously hadn't forgotten about his actions this morning; maybe miracles really did happen. Tony heard his dad clear his throat, a nervous habit of his father's whenever he was trying to persuade someone to do his bidding. "Or maybe, we can just talk about…"

"Dad, we never talk," Tony pointed out. He was not falling for his father's manipulative ways; Senior obviously had something on his mind and seemingly believed that Tony was going to easily acquiesce to his so-called invitation to dinner. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Is it so unusual that I want to have dinner with my son?"

"Seriously, Dad?" Tony blew out a frustrated breath. "Why don't you tell me what it is you want and we'll skip dinner?"

"I can see you're in one of your moods," his dad huffed. "I'll just pick up something and bring it over."

"Dad, don't," Tony pleaded. "I just want to go to bed; I'm not hungry and I'm not going to be very good company." He knew it was useless to try and reason with his dad; Tony could tell that Senior had already made up his mind and once again it didn't matter what he wanted.

"I'll be over in an hour."

The line went dead and Tony put the phone back on the base, cursing himself for even answering the phone. He pinched the bridge of his nose in an effort to ward off the impending headache that was starting behind his left eye; it was an all too familiar pain that occurred whenever he had to deal with his dad and he knew that he better take something for it now before it developed into a full blown migraine. Pushing himself up off the couch, he headed to the kitchen where he kept the pain reliever. He opened the bottle, poured a couple in hand and gulped them down with a glass of water; Tony figured by the time his dad left, he would be due for another dose.

He stifled a cough as he headed towards his bedroom to empty his pockets; although he knew his dad would be dressed for dinner in his designer suit, Tony had decided that he wasn't going to change out of his sweatpants and sweatshirt. His father would probably be appalled at his choice of attire but he really didn't care; maybe Senior would take a hint from his disheveled appearance and not wear out his welcome. "Who am I kidding?" Tony grumbled. "The man couldn't take a hint if it jumped up and bit him in the a…"

A knock at the door cut short his private tirade against his father. He sighed in frustration as he padded across the room; he knew it was too soon for his father and figured it was probably another one of his teammates checking on him. Tony couldn't help but wonder how he was supposed to get the rest that Ducky prescribed when he seemed destined to have an onslaught of visitors. Peering through the peephole, he smiled at the sight of his guest; this was one visit he wouldn't mind.

"Dr. Kate's sister!" he teasingly greeted as he opened the door. "Come on in."

"I see you're still among the living," she shot back.

"Yeah, Gibbs was almost nice; kind of scary."

"I bet."

Dr. Rachel Cranston entered the apartment and looked around as Tony closed the door and joined her in the living room. "Have a seat," he insisted. "Can I get you anything?'

"Shouldn't I be asking you that? You're the hero."

Tony shook his head. "No, I'm not. Anyone could have saved that boy," the senior agent pointed out.

"But not just anyone saved him. _You _did."

"Yeah," he wistfully answered. "I did." Tony sat back down on the couch, his weary orbs meeting Rachel's concerned gaze.

"Something wrong?" she pressed.

"Nah; I'm just working through some things." Tony wasn't ready to divulge the content of his dreams that seemingly plagued him; if he didn't understand the visions that were troubling him, it would be nearly impossible to make anyone else understand.

"Talking about what's bothering you can be a way of working through those things," the doctor reminded him.

"I know, but I'm just not sure…" Tony raked his hands through his hair. "Maybe later when I'm not so tired; right now I'm not sure that I can even remember my name."

She patted him on the knee as he leaned back against the back cushion. He knew that he didn't have to pretend with psychiatrist; perhaps that was why he felt that he could tell her anything. Tony could be himself and let his guard down around her, which was a luxury that he wasn't used to; there was only one other person he could do that with and that man was more than likely at home drinking bourbon in his basement.

"All right," she conceded. "But I won't forget about this; we _will_ talk about what's bothering you sometime in the near future."

"I know."

"I'll check on you in a couple of days and…"

A smile danced across his lips as what he determined to be a sudden flash of brilliance entered his mind. "Do you remember when you said that you'd like to meet my dad?"

"Yes," she hesitantly answered. She was clearly not sure as to why their conversation had taken this unexpected turn. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, my father is bringing dinner over and…"

"You don't want to face him alone," the doctor quickly deduced.

Tony shook his head. "It's not that…it's just…yeah, I don't want to deal with him."

"So you want to use my presence as a distraction?"

"No," he lied. Tony knew that he couldn't deceive Rachel; she was all too familiar with his usual tricks of the trade. "Yes. However, just think of all the research material you can gather on narcissism; it'll be great and I will consider it a personal favor if you stay."

"All right, but in our next session, we talk about your relationship with your father."

"That'll take more than one session, Doc," he retorted, knowing that he wasn't exaggerating. His and Senior's relationship was complicated to say the least; Tony had spent years trying to figure out his place in his dad's life and so far, he had learned that he was nothing more than a convenience and his father was obviously content with that arrangement.

"Don't worry; I'll clear the whole afternoon."

"That still may not be enough time."

"We'll take as long as we need to," she promised.

"Thanks; I owe you one."

"Just show up at your next session and bring the coffee."

"You got it."

Another knock at the door indicated to Tony and Rachel that it was show time. He pushed himself up from the couch, envisioning his father's reaction when he realized that they would not be dining alone. Tony was actually looking forward to having Rachel meet his dad; it was going to be a battle of wills and his money was on Dr. Cranston.

He opened the door and motioned for his dad to come in. His father started an immediate tirade on his apartment and what he deemed to be its faults, not noticing the doctor, who was still sitting on the couch. However, he knew that Rachel was intently studying his father and was probably already drawing some very interesting conclusions. Tony cleared his throat and nodded his head in the direction of the psychiatrist. "Dad, I'd like to introduce you to Rachel Cranston."

"Why didn't you tell me that you had company, Junior? I would have understood."

"_Dr._ Cranston is a psychiatrist." He paused for a few seconds and allowed his dad to absorb that piece of information. "Actually, she's _my _psychiatrist; I've been seeing her for a few weeks."

"A shrink that makes house calls?" Senior nervously joked.

"I'm also his friend," Rachel stated. "I came by to make sure that he was all right after that daring rescue this morning. You did hear about that, didn't you?"

"Of course I did," Senior replied.

"It was a brave thing your son did; you must be _very_ proud, Mr. DiNozzo."

"Uh…yes; of course I am."

Tony enjoyed seeing his father on the defensive. Perhaps the evening wasn't going to turn out to be so bad after all; he was actually going to enjoy seeing his dad sweat out the evening under the scrutiny of Dr. Cranston. Senior was used to wooing the women, but this was one lady that he wasn't going to be able to easily charm; she could see through his dad's ruse and had thrown the gauntlet. Now, all he had to do was sit back and watch the game unfold before his eyes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs took another drink of his bourbon as he began to work on the pattern for a rocking horse for Mike's granddaughter. There was a void left in his life due to Frank's death, but having his family moving closer would help fill that emptiness. Of course, his mind was on another member of his family; despite Tony's protests, he knew that the young man wasn't as fine as he proclaimed to be. When he dropped Tony off, he didn't miss the cough that his senior agent unsuccessfully tried to hide; DiNozzo was going to bear close watching for the next few days.

However, at the moment, he was more worried about DiNozzo's mental status; his gut was screaming that there was something he was missing and that it was going to end up biting him in the ass. The episode in the car had only strengthened the inner argument that he was having with himself; there had been a moment when Tony had no idea who he was and that realization troubled him. It was that incident that had convinced him to call Dr. Cranston. As he refilled his glass, he thought back on their conversation.

_***flashback***_

"_It's Gibbs."_

"_What can I do for you, Gibbs?" the doctor inquired._

"_Tony."_

"_I've already talked to him," she assured him._

"_When?"_

_He could almost see the doctor roll her eyes; Kate used to do the same thing whenever she became aggravated with him. Having Rachel around often forced Gibbs to think about Kate and how much he actually missed her; he often wondered how different things would be if she had lived. _

"_Before you called him the first time," Rachel replied. _

"_Have you talked to him since?" he demanded to know._

"_Wow, that was actually a sentence with more than one word. I'm impressed."_

_Gibbs wasn't amused by her attempt at levity. He wasn't in the mood to exchange barbs with the shrink; there more pressing matters at hand. "Have you talked to him since?" the team leader repeated, a bit sharper than he had originally intended. _

"_No. He called back and left a message; I was getting ready to return his call."_

"_Maybe you should just go over there," Gibbs half insisted._

"_Trying to tell me how to do my job, Agent Gibbs?"_

"_Nope. Just making a suggestion."_

"_What prompted this suggestion?" the doctor wanted to know._

_He began to explain to her the feeling that had been gnawing at him ever since he had picked up Tony and taken him to see Ducky; Gibbs had learned a long time ago that when it came to most anything, he had to trust his gut. The team leader continued to recall how DiNozzo had seemingly zoned out, his mind somewhere in the past, as the younger man was frantically trying to find somebody. The whole experience had been unusual and frightening; it was disconcerting to him and Gibbs could tell that it had inwardly devastated Tony to not be in complete control of his actions. _

"_I'm just now leaving the office," Rachel informed him. "I'll drop by on my way home."_

"_Call me and let me know how he's doing?"_

"_I'll do that but remember anything he shares with me is.."_

"_I know, Doc. We've been through this before; you can't tell me anything that Tony tells you in confidence," he stated, finishing her sentence for her. _

"_So, you're not even going to ask this time?"_

"_I'll try and refrain." _

"_Thank you."_

"_You're welcome." Gibbs hung up and cast the phone on his workbench, hoping that he had done the right thing by sending the doctor to check on Tony._

_*** end flashback***_

He glanced at his watch and noted that it had been over thirty minutes since she should have arrived at Tony's; Gibbs realized that either DiNozzo was actually opening up to her or something had come up. Maybe he should just get in his truck and head on over to Tony's; the only problem with that was he had promised Tony that he wouldn't hover the next couple of days.

All he could do was wait until he heard from Dr. Cranston; unfortunately, as it had been pointed out several times, patience wasn't one of his best attributes. As he finished off his drink, his phone vibrated, indicating that he had a text. Gibbs cursed under his breath; sometimes he hated technology, actually, most of the time he hated technology, but it was a necessary evil.

The text was from Rachel. _At Tony's. Dinner with Tony and his father. Is Senior for real? Will call later._

Gibbs couldn't help but wonder what Dr. Cranston's impression was of Tony's father; he found himself wishing that he could be a fly on the wall. He had the feeling that after dinner with Tony's father, Dr. Rachel Cranston would have a new appreciation of the man that her patient had become despite the lack of fatherly influence. He hoped that she would now understand the paternal feelings that he had towards Tony and why that bond was so special to both of them.

He set his glass down and quickly made his way up the steps. Gibbs grabbed his jacket and headed out the door; for some reason his gut was once again screaming at him and he could not ignore his instincts. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that Tony was going to need him and _nothing_ was going to stop him from going to see his…his son.

**A special thanks to AZGirl for all her help; if you found any mistakes, they belong to me. Thank you all so much for the reviews and the alerts; I'm so glad that you all have such an enthusiasm for my new stories! Hope you enjoyed the post!**


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5

When Dr. Rachel Cranston accepted Tony's desperate invitation to dinner in order to meet his father, she truly had no idea what she was signing up for, but nevertheless, had agreed to stay. The agent had seemed relieved to know that he wasn't going to have to face his father alone, forcing her to speculate about what kind of relationship that the two men had. She didn't sense a typical father and son bond between them; whatever _was_ between them was strained and obviously caused both men a great deal of discomfort.

After she had been introduced as Tony's psychiatrist, Rachel could almost see the older man erect walls around his mind and soul to prevent her from gaining a glimpse of the real Anthony DiNozzo, Senior. Tony's father strived to remain an enigma but there were some aspects of his personality that were very transparent. This was a man who was used to charming his way through life but she would not fall for his seemingly manipulative ways; she had a feeling that by the time the night was over that the elder DiNozzo would regret the fact that their paths ever crossed.

She studied the two men as Tony took the bag containing their dinner from his father's hands and disappeared into the kitchen. Rachel knew that she was definitely going to have to talk with the agent about his avoidance issues. The doctor followed Tony into the kitchen with an offer to help him while Senior proceeded to make himself comfortable; she wondered if Tony's father naturally assumed that he was actually welcome in his son's home.

"So, that's your dad," she said, keeping her voice low so it wouldn't carry into the next room.

"Yeah," Tony answered as he opened the container and began dishing the food out onto paper plates. "So what do you think?"

"I think I'll reserve my judgment until after dinner. It smells good."

"One thing about my dad is that he doesn't know how to eat cheap. His idea of fast food is room service."

She grinned at Tony's flippant remark; the agent's sense of humor was one of his more endearing qualities, but he tended to use his wit as a defense mechanism against those who wanted to get close to him. Tony had clearly inherited a lot of his father's personality including making sure that people kept their distance; emotional attachments were perceived as a risk and by keeping others at arms length, the young man didn't have to worry about being hurt. Rachel found it interesting that someone like Gibbs, who definitely, in her opinion, had issues of his own, had managed to break through that barrier to become not only a close friend, but a father figure as well.

"If that's the case, what's he going to say about eating off paper plates?" the doctor teased.

"Don't worry, I'm sure whatever he says will be profound," he assured her. "He'll probably make a comment about how eating off paper plates is a true sign of someone who doesn't have a work ethic. If you're lucky, you may get to hear the speech about how he worked his way up the ladder from nothing; if you're_ really_ lucky, you'll get the condensed version and not the version I heard every time I asked for money."

"Ooh, I can't wait."

Tony motioned for her to grab three wine glasses and some silverware as he carried the plates back into the living room. "Here you go Dad," he said, handing him his plate. "Bon Appetit!"

"Thank you, Junior," Senior replied, eyeing disapprovingly at the paper plate holding his lobster tail and vegetables. "Paper plates? Really, Junior?"

Tony shrugged. "I'm too tired to do dishes tonight, Dad. It's been a long day."

Rachel had been prepared for Tony's father to regale them with a lecture, but to her surprise, Senior simply nodded and began to eat. She spared a glance at Tony, who seemed equally confounded by his dad's failure to take an opportunity to talk about himself. Obviously, something was weighing heavily on the older man's mind and the psychiatrist's natural curiosity made her even more determined to figure out the puzzle that had been presented to her in the form of Anthony DiNozzo, Senior.

"What brings you to D.C., Mr. DiNozzo?" she asked in an attempt to break the ice. Rachel knew that Tony's father was still guarded around her, prompting her to proceed with caution.

"Business," the elder DiNozzo answered between bites.

"I'm sure that you enjoy coming to D.C., especially since your son lives here."

"I always look forward to seeing Junior," he coolly stated. "I don't get to see him enough."

She saw Tony push his plate away and lean against the back of the couch. He had barely touched his food and what little appetite he had, seemed to evaporate at the words that came out of his father's mouth. Rachel could sense a defiance stirring in Tony; his eyes were fixated on this father, lines of fatigue were etched in his handsome features.

"If that were the case, Dad, it seems like you would have called me before now," Tony challenged. "You told me earlier that you've been in town for a couple of days, but today was the first time I heard from you."

"I also told you that I had some business to attend to," Senior reminded his son.

"Oh yeah, I forgot; what was her name again?"

The psychiatrist continued to watch the two men exchange barbs; it was clear to her that Tony had always wanted more from their relationship, but Senior had apparently been content to be nothing more than mere acquaintances and did not entertain the thought of getting close to his son. Rachel was now trying to discern if the father and son bond had ever existed or if something had happened in the past to shatter it.

"That is none of your concern, Junior," Senior shot back.

"Yeah, right. This one must not be on the potential stepmother list," Tony said.

Senior visibly bristled, an action that didn't go unnoticed by Dr. Cranston. "That was uncalled for; if I knew that you were in this foul of a mood, I wouldn't have come," Tony's dad quietly seethed.

"I _told_ you that I didn't want company tonight, but once again, _you_ didn't listen."

"Maybe you weren't in the mood for _my_ company," Senior growled as his gaze came to rest on Rachel.

She was aware of what the elder DiNozzo was thinking and the doctor quickly put a damper on those thoughts. "I'd be careful about making assumptions; you're about to cross the line," Rachel warned.

"It's not any of my business who Junior sees; if you say that you two just have a professional relationship, I'll have to take you at your word."

"Dad! I don't believe you!" Tony exclaimed. "Dr. Cranston is my psychiatrist and that's it!"

Seemingly ignoring his son's proclamation, Senior continued, "I could hardly blame you if you were dating her; she's beautiful and smart. I mean, if you're not going to go after Ziva, she's not a bad second choice!"

"Dad!" an exasperated Tony cried out.

Rachel knew that Tony was growing increasingly frustrated and angry by his father's insinuations and while she didn't have a doubt that DiNozzo could hold his own against his dad, she wasn't sure that the agent was in the best frame of mind to continue down the path this conversation was taking. Tony's relationship with the various women in his life was a topic that he had declared off limits in their sessions and the fact that his dad was throwing it in his face only served to exacerbate the NCIS agent's wrath. She figured that Senior had no idea about Tony's latest relationship with EJ Barrett and that he was inadvertently reopening the emotional scars that were just beginning to heal; the doctor would hate to think that Tony's dad would simply open up old wounds just to see his son bleed.

"You know something, Dad," Tony began. "I…"

She cleared her throat and placed a calming hand on Tony's arm, hoping that he understood her silent vow to deal with this issue later. The doctor didn't want her patient to say anything that he may regret later; although she doubted that at the moment that Tony wasn't worried about hurting his dad's feelings. Turning her attention to Senior, she said, "You said you were here on business, Mr. DiNozzo; what kind of business are you in?"

"Let's just say that I dabble in a little bit of everything and leave it at that. I'd rather not spend dinner discussing something that would just bore you; I know Junior doesn't like hearing about my business ventures."

"Maybe because your business ventures, as you call them, usually end up biting you in the ass and I have to bail you out," Tony interjected.

"You need to watch your manners, Junior; there _is_ a lady present," Senior pointed out.

Rachel blew out a long breath; perhaps staying for dinner hadn't been such a good idea after all. "Let's not talk about business anymore," she suggested. Although she already knew the answer to her next question, she felt compelled to ask it, hoping that the tension in the room would at least partially dissipate. "Do you have any more children, Mr. DiNozzo?"

Senior began to cough as if he had swallowed wrong; Rachel handed him his wine so he could take a sip and hopefully regain his breath and his composure. "Are you all right?" she asked.

"I'm fine," he assured her as he took another sip of his wine. "I'm sure Anthony has told you that he's my only child."

She was curious by his reaction. Senior wasn't making eye contact with her or Tony; he seemed nervous, almost like he was lying. "I didn't mean anything by it, Mr. DiNozzo. I knew that you had been remarried and I just thought…"

"Well, don't think, Dr. Cranston; my life is none of your business."

"Why are you so defensive, Mr. DiNozzo? I told you that it was an innocent question."

"I'm not defensive," Tony's father insisted. "I just think that you're trying to psychoanalyze me and I'm not having any part of it. You may be seeing my son on a professional basis, but I assure you that I am in no need of your services."

"You think I'm psychoanalyzing you because I asked if you had anymore children?"

The man was definitely paranoid, but the feeling that Tony's father was hiding something was becoming more prevalent. She glanced at Tony, who was staring at his dad, his expression of uncertainty and contemplation. Rachel was aware that because of Tony's innate desire for truth, he would push Senior until he figured out exactly what was going on; however, the doctor wasn't sure if that was such a good idea. Whatever Senior was hiding was more than likely detrimental to the already strained relationship between father and son; she would have to make sure that Tony was emotionally prepared to handle whatever surprises his dad would possibly reveal in the future.

"As Anthony can tell you, I'm a very private man," Senior stated. "I don't lay all my cards on the table. Ever."

"Afraid that someone will see behind that mask you insist on wearing?"

"I'm not afraid of anything."

The older man's boast was not unexpected, but it wasn't truthful; Tony's father _was_ afraid of something, that much was for certain. Rachel watched Senior's precise movements as he rose from his seat, straightened his tie and executed a slight bow. "If you'll excuse me, I need to use the rest room."

"Certainly."

As soon as Tony's father was out of earshot, her focus turned back to Tony, who was pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head in frustration. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I knew he wouldn't be happy that you were here, but I didn't expect him to be so…rude. He's usually so smooth with the ladies; I guess you just bring out the best in him."

She smiled at Tony's good-natured teasing. "I seem to have that effect on men."

"I guess you do," Tony sighed. "He's acting weird tonight; I don't know…maybe it's just me."

"No, I have to agree with your gut; he's definitely being cagey about something."

Tony slouched down further and put his feet on the coffee table in front of him. Rachel considered insisting that he just simply go on to bed, but she knew that it would be a moot point; Tony wouldn't allow himself to completely relax until his dad was gone. She gave his arm a squeeze and began to clean up the dinner plates, including his barely touched meal. "You really need to eat something."

Her reply came in the form of a cough. After a few seconds of hacking, he rasped, "I'm not hungry; I'm just tired. By the way, do you mind getting the door?"

She looked at him in confusion. "The door?"

"Gibbs has pizza."

Rachel stood up and went to the door to discover Gibbs standing there with a pizza in hand. "Hey, Doc," he said, handing her the pizza as he entered the apartment. "Might want to put it in the fridge for tomorrow; DiNozzo probably doesn't feel like eating."

"What are you doing here, Gibbs?" she asked. The doctor didn't really expect the team leader to show up, but then again, she knew that Gibbs was worried about Tony and wanted to make sure that he was all right. Sometimes she had no idea how Kate managed to put up with the two of them for the short time that she worked there. "I texted you, Gibbs."

"I know. I was just in the neighborhood."

She watched with great interest as Gibbs sat down beside Tony and the two men began to quietly converse. Rachel couldn't hear what they were saying but it didn't matter; Gibbs would take care of his boy. It was so easy to think of Gibbs in that paternal role that Tony so desperately craved; the two just seemed to fall into a natural pattern and although they weren't blood, there was an undeniable familial bond between them.

"I bet you were," she mumbled.

As she took the pizza into the kitchen and put in the refrigerator, Rachel heard the door open to the bathroom, signifying that Senior was about to walk into the lion's den. Jethro Gibbs was protective of his people and especially of one Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. She hurried back into the living room in time to see Tony's father coming down the small hallway.

"Junior, when's the last time you cleaned…" Senior stopped mid-stride as his eyes came to rest upon the team leader. "Gibbs! What are you doing here?"

"Came to check on Tony," he replied.

"Yes, well, that seems to be the common reason for my son's unexpected company tonight."

"He's had a rough day."

"So I've heard. You must be getting soft, Junior, if you need two babysitters to look after you."

Rachel rolled her eyes in frustration. Why did Tony's father find it necessary to try and embarrass him in front of his friends? It was as if the man couldn't help himself; she was beginning to believe that Senior had no idea how to talk to his son.

"They're not my babysitters," Tony snapped. "They're my friends and you will treat them with respect or you can leave."

Senior raised his hands in surrender. "Take it easy, Junior; I didn't mean anything by it."

"You never do, Dad. You never do."

"I uh…was hoping that we could have a few minutes alone before I left," Senior said. "I won't take up much more of your time."

Rachel knew that the last thing the agent wanted to do was to have a heart to heart with his dad. Senior was going to end up pushing Tony over the edge with his persistence and demeaning manner, intentionally enlarging the chasm that already separated them. "Maybe you could drop by some other time, Mr. DiNozzo; we've already established several times that Tony has had a rough day."

"So, you've pointed out," Senior retorted. "I think you should leave the decision up to Tony and…"

Tony pushed himself up off the couch and gestured for his dad to go out onto the balcony. "Let's just get this over with," he muttered.

"Are you sure?" Rachel inquired.

"I'll be fine. He's not going to do anything stupid with Gibbs around."

The doctor joined Gibbs, who was now standing and watching the two men as they stepped out on the balcony. "Tony told me if I met his father, it would explain a lot," she recalled.

"And does it?" Gibbs pressed.

She stared at Tony and his father as they engaged in what had the appearance of becoming a heated conversation. Physical resemblance aside, the two men shared a few similar characteristics. They both tended to exude and aura of false confidence so no one could see their emotional pain and insecurities. In some aspects, Tony was as good of a con man as his father, but Tony's conscience only permitted him to take the con so far; he would never do anything to intentionally hurt someone in order to get what he wanted. She couldn't say the same thing about his father; Tony was living proof of that.

Rachel now understood why Tony was so guarded and why it was so hard for him to trust. She made a mental note to talk to Gibbs sometime about how Tony was when they started working together; the team leader was one of the few people that DiNozzo trust implicitly and she wanted to know why. The mystery that was Tony DiNozzo was unfolding and she was determined to be there for every revelation; there were a lot of issues that the young man had never dealt with concerning his father and she was convinced that if Tony didn't face them, they would destroy him.

It was amazing to her that Tony had turned out to be such a good man. He had to have practically raised himself and in her opinion, he had done a damn good job; maybe Gibbs could take a little of the credit but most of the recognition belonged to Special Agent Tony DiNozzo. Rachel wrapped her arms around her frame as her attention remained riveted to the scene on the balcony.

"Yeah," she finally managed to reply. "It does explain a lot."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Tony knew that both Dr. Cranston and Gibbs were watching them but he was too tired to care. Usually, he made more of an effort to appease his father but the exhaustion coupled with the fact that his dad once again had trampled on Tony's wants and needs in order to get what _he_ wanted, had frayed his already worn nerves. "What's up, Dad?"

"I could ask you the same thing, Junior," his father shot back. "I want to know why you feel like you had to call in the reinforcements tonight."

He didn't even try to feign ignorance. Tony realized that his dad was referring to Rachel and Gibbs; the agent didn't feel like he owed his dad an explanation because the older man had all but bullied his way into an invitation tonight. Maybe he had used Rachel as a buffer, but if she hadn't been here, things might have easily spiraled out of control; not that the situation was in his control anyway. He had been angered and embarrassed by his father's behavior towards his friends. Tony was aware of the fact Gibbs could hold his own against Senior and the doctor didn't do too badly standing against the formidable man that was his father; however, they were his friends and he didn't like them being treated like yesterday's garbage.

"Maybe because I wasn't in the mood to deal with you tonight," Tony snapped. "I told you I was tired and wanted to go to bed, yet, you didn't listen! You came over anyway!"

"I just wanted to make sure you were all right!" Senior exclaimed. "It's not every day that your son jumps in the river and saves someone!"

"It's not the first time I've done that, Dad," Tony pointed out.

"What do you mean?"

Tony shook his head; he was not going to recreate that moment when he had rescued Gibbs and Maddie from their own watery demise. The memory of staring into Gibbs' cold and dead eyes was not something that he wanted to recall at the moment; things could have easily gone the other way and he would have lost not only a mentor, but a father as well. The team leader had always been more of a father to him than his own and Senior was very much aware of the bond that they shared.

"Nothing," Tony answered, fighting against the throbbing pain that was now taking up residence in his skull. "Dad, you didn't come and check up on me because you were worried about me; so, are you going to tell me why you're here."

Tony leaned against the glass door as he watched his father stare out across the sky. "We used to go to the river a lot; your mother used to love taking you and…taking you for walks; there was a pier that I used to meet you both at and we'd have a picnic lunch at least once a week. Do you remember that, Junior?"

He was beginning to think that his dad was losing his mind; his father never brought up the past, especially when it concerned his mother. After his mother had died, things between him and his dad were tense and awkward. Senior had told him that his mom had died of a broken heart and Tony had always assumed that he had been the one to break it.

"No, Dad," he sighed. "I don't…"

Images of a frightened child began to filter into his mind. Tony stumbled forward and grasped the railing as the sound of someone sobbing merged with the pictures flooding his memories. A woman was crying and a man was shaking the little boy.

"_What have you done?" the dark-haired man cried out. "Tell me where Adam is!"_

"_I don't know," the boy wept._

"I don't know," Tony rasped, his thoughts muddled by the harsh reality that his mind was trapped in. "I don't know."

Tony slid down onto the concrete slab, his hands covering his ears and his eyes clenched shut in an effort to block out the sound and the images that seemed to intentionally haunt him. He could hear his dad calling out to him but for some reason, Tony couldn't answer him. His fingers were now entwined in his hair, pulling it frantically as the once distant cries grew louder. The expression on the boy's face was one of terror, mirroring the panic that was beginning to overwhelm him. As he looked into the child's eyes, Tony found himself wondering why someone wouldn't help the child.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gibbs hadn't taken his eyes off of Tony; he didn't trust DiNozzo's father and he made no secret of his dislike for the man. Something had been gnawing at his gut all day and it bothered him that he couldn't figure out what was troubling him; it had something to do with Tony, but what that was, he didn't know.

"Gibbs?" Rachel called out. "What's on your mind?"

"Nothing."

"I know better than that. You call me and want me to come and check on Tony and then you decide to pop in; something's up."

"You tell me, Doc; you're the shrink."

"Gibbs, I…"

"What the…?"

The team leader's gut was now screaming at him as he saw Tony slide to the ground. DiNozzo was huddled against the railing, his arms covering his head as if he were trying to protect himself from something or someone. He bolted across the room and threw open the door; pushing past Tony's father, Gibbs knelt in front of Tony, cupping the agent's face in his hand. "Tony? Tony can you hear me?"

He saw something in Tony's eyes that he had never seen before; the sheer terror emanating from DiNozzo's orbs was heart wrenching. "Why?" Tony whispered.

"Why what, Tony?" Gibbs pressed, uncertain if his agent could even hear him.

"Why…won't they…help him?"

The pain in those barely uttered words was almost unbearable. Tony was clearly caught up in a dream or a memory and whatever he was seeing was tearing him apart. There wasn't a doubt in his mind now that something was wrong. Whatever was happening at this moment, couldn't be contributed to exhaustion as Tony had earlier claimed; it was apparent that whatever was troubling him had deep seated roots and it was going to take some digging to discover what it was that was haunting Tony.

**Happy Easter! I've given you an extra long post to reward you for your patience, so I hope you enjoyed the post! Thank you all for your continued support; the alerts and the reviews are awesome! I'm so blessed to have such wonderful readers.**


	6. Chapter 6

Part 6

"DiNozzo! Talk to me, Tony!" the team leader pleaded.

Gibbs easily sensed Tony's fear and grief as his senior agent's usually concealed emotions continued to intensify. Something was obviously haunting Tony and he was determined to discover the ghosts that seemed to be holding the younger man captive. Glancing up at the elder DiNozzo, he couldn't shake the feeling that Senior was somehow responsible for Tony's current condition; unfortunately, he didn't have the time to figure out exactly what had transpired between them.

"Why…won't…they help him?" Tony asked once again. Gibbs noted that DiNozzo's tone was reminiscent of a child demanding an answer to his question; there was no mistaking the frustration and desperation that seemed to drip from every agonizing word.

"Help who, Tony? Who needs help?" Gibbs wanted to know.

"Adam."

Gibbs glanced up at Rachel who was trying to escort Senior back into the apartment and away from Tony. She shrugged, silently indicating that she was just as confused as he was at the moment, a fact that troubled him a great deal. He didn't like the feeling of helplessness that was beginning to overtake him.

"Tony, you saved Adam," Gibbs reluctantly replied, uncertain if he was providing Tony with the answer that he sought.

"No…I can't…find him. I…tried," Tony stammered.

The agent's heart constricted at the shattered innocence in Tony's voice; the pain that DiNozzo was experiencing was all too real and Gibbs had a feeling that this particular ache was deep seated and was struggling to find its way to the surface of the agent's mind.

"Tony, the boy is all right," the team leader tried to console. "He's with his mom; you did good, DiNozzo."

"You don't understand!" The sharpness of Tony's tone took everyone by surprise.

Gibbs took his calloused thumb and wiped away the single tear that was falling down Tony's cheek. "Then make me understand. Tell me what's going on, Tony."

Tony defiantly pulled free of the Marine's grasp and buried his face in his knees as he began to rock. Gibbs realized that DiNozzo was attempting to shut him out and he couldn't let that happen. He placed his hands on Tony's shoulder to stop the constant motion and to reassure him that he wasn't alone; it was then that he heard the mantra that Tony was quietly uttering.

"I'm sorry," Tony whispered repeatedly. "I'm sorry."

"Let me talk to him," Senior demanded.

"I think you've done enough."

"I haven't done anything! He's _my_ son! Let me talk to him!"

Gibbs looked over his shoulder, his steely glare silencing Tony's father. If he had his way Anthony DiNozzo, Senior, would never set foot in the same town as Tony, but unfortunately, he had very little control over the elder DiNozzo's comings and goings. "Get him the hell out of here, Doc!" the team leader barked.

"You don't have the right," Senior protested.

"Come with me, Mr. DiNozzo," Rachel insisted. "Let Agent Gibbs handle Tony."

"This is absurd! Gibbs isn't his father! I am!"

"But right now, Tony's responding to Gibbs and so we need to back off; maybe between the two of us, we can figure out what happened."

The Marine was amazed by the patience that Rachel demonstrated in dealing with Tony's father. Personally, he was having trouble restraining himself from pushing Senior off the balcony.

"Please, Mr. DiNozzo," Rachel urged.

"Well, I uh…"

Rachel took Senior by the arm and discreetly guided him towards the door. "Please, Mr. DiNozzo," she patiently implored.

"Fine," Senior finally consented. "But I'm not going to be far away."

The team leader found that he was truly grateful for Dr. Cranston's interference. He had neither the time nor the tolerance to deal with Tony's father at the moment; his first priority was to figure out what kind of living nightmare had seemingly ensnared his friend. Senior had continued to argue with Rachel but had begrudgingly followed her back into the apartment. Gibbs turned his focus back to Tony, who was staring at him with vacant eyes; he reached up and lightly patted DiNozzo's cheek in an effort to bring him back to the present moment.

"Tony?" he quietly called out once again. "Come on, DiNozzo; help me out here."

After a few seconds, recognition finally danced in Tony's eyes as the fog began to apparently dissipate from his mind. Gibbs blew out the long breath that he had been inadvertently holding when DiNozzo finally acknowledged him.

"Boss? What's…what's going on?" Tony managed to ask.

"I was hoping you could tell me," Gibbs said.

He watched as Tony began to look around, confusion emanating from his trembling form; Gibbs wasn't sure if DiNozzo even realized he was shaking, prompting the agent to take off his jacket and drape it over Tony's back and shoulders.

"Thanks, Boss," the agent mumbled. "What am I doing out here?"

"What's the last thing you remember?" he wanted to know, concerned by the fact that Tony seemed unable to remember why he was sitting on his balcony.

"Uh…well, I remember you arriving with pizza," Tony recalled. "Thanks for that, by the way."

"Is that all?"

"I think I was talking to my dad, but I…" DiNozzo shrugged. "I'm not sure what happened after that. Did I pass out or something?"

"No, you didn't pass out."

"Then why am I sitting on my balcony?"

Gibbs was temporarily at a loss as to how to explain to Tony what had just happened; truthfully, he wasn't sure himself and he had no idea what he was supposed to tell DiNozzo. The only thing the team leader knew for sure was that Tony had been talking with his father and had mentally ended up in another time and another place.

"I'm not sure," he finally answered.

"Neither am I," Tony admitted.

"You were asking me why someone didn't help Adam."

Tony visibly bristled at the mention of Adam's name. Gibbs was now convinced that Tony hadn't been talking about the young boy that he had saved that morning, but about someone completely different. "A…Adam?" Tony questioned.

"Yeah. Name ring a bell?"

"I uh…guess I was just thinking about the rescue this morning," Tony mused.

"You believe that, DiNozzo?"

"What else could it be, Boss? It's the only reasonable explanation."

"I don't think so." Gibbs stood up and helped Tony to his feet. The younger man staggered a bit, but the team leader held firmly to his shoulders until DiNozzo got his feet under him. He motioned for Tony to sit in one of the patio chairs. Gibbs watched as the still shivering man nestled himself inside of his coat; satisfied that DiNozzo was warm enough, he pulled up the other chair and sat next to him. "Got any other ideas?"

Tony shook his head. "Not really. I guess that rescue kind of got to me," DiNozzo admitted, raking his hand through his hair.

"Tony, whatever you were talking about had nothing to do with the rescue this morning. You were in a different time and place; something's not right."

"I don't know, Gibbs!" Tony snapped.

Gibbs waited for the apology that he knew would follow. He could count on one hand the times that Tony had raised his voice to him and there had only been one time when an apology hadn't been forthcoming; the team leader had never held that particular time against him because Tony had followed his gut and had ended up saving his life.

"Sorry," DiNozzo wearily sighed. "I'm just tired."

Accepting his apology with a curt nod, Gibbs continued his questioning. "What were you and your dad talking about before you had this…episode?"

"He was talking about…" A pained expression flitted across Tony's exhausted features as the dark-haired man searched his memory for answers that refused to make themselves known. "He was talking about when I was little and how he used to meet me and my mom for picnics; the funny thing is I don't remember that ever happening."

"And that's the last thing you remember your dad saying?" he pressed, his own gut hinting that Tony had just inadvertently provided him with a lead that he needed to follow up. Tony's father didn't seem like the sentimental type; Gibbs was beginning to believe that Senior knew more about what had just happened than he was letting on and the Marine was determined to find out exactly what information that DiNozzo's dad was withholding.

He gave Tony's shoulder a reassuring squeeze as DiNozzo cradled his head in his hands. "I'm so tired. It's been a long day," DiNozzo declared, fatigue oozing from every syllable that he uttered. "Actually, it's been a hell of a few months and I feel like I could sleep for a week. Maybe after a good night's sleep, I'll be able to figure out what's going on in my mind."

Gibbs had known Tony long enough to know that his friend was effectively shutting down. DiNozzo was through talking for now and no amount of cajoling would change his mind; the team leader would have to wait for answers, but at least he had some time to do some digging on his own.

"All right," he conceded. "You want me to get rid of your dad?"

"No, I'll do it."

The older man realized that Tony still didn't like the thought of him and his father conversing or even being in the same room. There definitely wasn't any love loss between the two men and the tension only served to create unnecessary stress for the senior field agent. The last thing that Gibbs wanted to do was to make things even more difficult for Tony; his friend had definitely been through a lot in the past few months and the lead agent had no desire to add to Tony's already heavy burden.

The two men stood up and headed back inside the apartment. Gibbs had a feeling that DiNozzo was about to embark on a journey that he wasn't prepared to take. It was obvious that something in Tony's past was trying to resurface, forcing its way out of a box that had been hidden away for years. He knew from experience that dealing with ghosts tested a man's strength of character; his own mettle had been sorely tried by the demons of his past and it had cost him dearly to purge them. Gibbs appreciated the fact that Tony was strong physically and mentally and could handle most obstacles that appeared before him, but the team leader still planned to make sure that he was close by DiNozzo's side to help him face the uncertainty of his future.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Rachel studied Tony's father as the man paced around the room, his movements reflecting the obvious agitation that he was experiencing. He had not been happy when the doctor had ushered him back inside and away from Tony. Actually, Senior had been livid and there had been no consoling him; her words and attempts at calming his frenzied thoughts had failed miserably, so she had decided to sit back and watch.

She had learned a couple of things from her observations, the first being that Senior definitely didn't like the influence that Gibbs had over his son's life. Several different times, Tony's father had ranted about how he should be the one comforting his son and how he resented Gibbs' interference. The doctor also noticed that the elder DiNozzo seemed nervous, constantly worrying about what Tony and Gibbs were talking about; it was almost if he were afraid of what Tony was telling the team leader. Several times, he had asked if she could tell what they were saying and she would honestly reply that she had no idea what they were conversing about.

Senior continued to pace, but that didn't deter Dr. Cranston from asking her own questions. "What were you and Tony talking about before he…collapsed?" she wanted to know.

"Family matters that don't concern you or Agent Gibbs," he snapped.

"I see," she sighed. "I was just trying to help. Perhaps if you could recall your conversation, then it would let me know…"

"Why don't you just mind your own business?"

The doctor forced a smile on her lips. "Your son's mental and emotional welfare _is_ my business. I thought you had his best interests in mind; I guess I was wrong."

Tony's father stopped mid-stride and whirled around to face her. "How dare you accuse me of not caring about my son!" he roared.

She refused to back down from Senior's menacing stare. "If you cared, you wouldn't even be here tonight," Rachel pointed out. "Tony told you not to come by because he was tired, but you insisted on dropping in on him. Let me ask you something, Mr. DiNozzo; have you ever put Tony's needs above your own."

"I uh…"

"Just let me offer you some free advice," she continued. "If you want a chance at having a relationship with your son, you better start listening to what he's saying."

Their conversation was interrupted by Senior's cell phone. As he answered the phone, he moved down the hallway towards Tony's bedroom in order to have some privacy; if she didn't know better, Rachel would have sworn that he had purposefully had someone call him just so he didn't have to talk to her any longer. She couldn't help but wonder how many times he had pulled the same stunt on Tony, reinforcing the fact that his son wasn't on his list of priorities but was simply someone he had to deal with at his convenience.

Shaking her head in disgust, she turned her attention back to the two men still on the balcony. She could see the concern in the team leader's eyes and the lines of exhaustion etched in Tony's pale features. The doctor was truly worried about her patient; Tony was already working through some serious issues, but after everything that she had witnessed tonight, Rachel knew that they had barely scratched the surface of what was troubling the agent.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tony walked into the living room with Gibbs in tow; he still didn't feel too steady on his feet but he knew that Gibbs was ready to pick his butt up off the floor if necessary. He acknowledged Rachel with a slight nod and glanced around for his father but quickly discovered that he wasn't anywhere in sight. "Where's my dad?" he asked.

"He got a phone call," Rachel answered.

"Of course he did."

He handed the team leader his coat and then carefully made his way over to the couch and fell onto the cushions. Tony had a feeling that Gibbs and Dr. Cranston were having one of their silent conversations about him. She would want to know if he was okay and Gibbs would simply shrug; he knew that they would compare notes later and truthfully, he didn't care. His entire body felt like his muscles had been shredded and haphazardly put back together; the drum line in his head was growing louder with each beat and Tony wasn't sure how much longer he could keep up his current facade.

"Can I get you anything, Tony?" Rachel asked.

Tony draped his arm over his eyes and blew out a long breath. "No, I'm fine," he lied. "I'm just tired; I'm ready to hit the sack."

He felt Rachel gently pat his knee. "I can take a hint, but don't think that means that I'm going to let this go. I'll call you in the morning," she promised.

The agent dropped his arm across his stomach and smiled at his psychiatrist. "Not too early; I need my beauty rest," Tony teased.

"I'll remember that."

"Thanks, Doc."

"For what?"

"For sticking around." He was truly thankful for her presence. She had been an anchor for him, but more importantly, she had also acted as a buffer between him and his dad; if it hadn't been for her calming presence, Tony knew that he and his dad would have probably ended up in the midst of one of their infamous arguments.

"Any time," she replied.

As soon as she left, he laid his head back and closed his eyes; as spent as he was, he knew that sleep would not be on the agenda tonight. His mind was too muddled with images that he didn't fully comprehend and it was going to take a while to sort them all out; Tony had to figure out what was going on in his mind while he still had some semblance of his sanity left.

Tony heard Gibbs in the kitchen and judging by the sounds emanating from the tiny room, the team leader was putting on a pot of fresh coffee. He would have to remember to thank the Marine because he was definitely going to need something if he were going to stay awake tonight. It was only a few seconds before Gibbs returned and announced that the coffee would be ready in a few minutes.

He acknowledged Gibbs with a nod as the team leader sat down on the couch next to him. "The offer still stands if you want me to kick your dad out?"

"He'll leave soon enough," Tony sighed. "Anytime he gets a phone call, that usually means he has to rush off to some important business meeting."

"I'm staying until I'm sure he's gone."

"You don't have to do that, Boss. I'll be fine."

"I'm not too convinced of that right now, Tony. It wouldn't hurt for Ducky to have another look at you."

"We'll see." Tony didn't particularly think that Ducky was going to find anything new. His problem wasn't physical; his problem was that he was losing his mind. Ever since the rescue this morning, he had felt off; his mind was constantly being bombarded by voices and images that he felt he should recognize, but he had no idea what any of it meant. He felt like he should know the boy in his dreams, but once again, his memory failed him.

"Then you better look a hell of a lot better in the morning than you do right now," Gibbs warned.

Tony tiredly smiled at his friend and mentor. Although Gibbs' concern was usually masked by his gruff personality, there wasn't a doubt in his mind that the team leader was worried about him. He usually didn't like having a fuss made, but Tony had to admit that it was nice to have someone genuinely care about what happened to him. "It's pretty near impossible for me to look bad, Gibbs," he retorted. "It's a gift."

"Gift my ass, DiNozzo; you look like crap. Whatever's going on with you is wearing you out; we've got to get a handle on it."

He didn't miss the fact that Gibbs had said that _we_ had to get a handle on it; whatever nightmare that was plaguing him, Tony knew that he wasn't going to have face it alone. "I'm sure it's just the after-effects of the rescue this morning; I had similar dreams after I pulled you and Maddie out the river a few years ago. Give me a day or two and I'll be fine," Tony assured the Marine.

"You better be."

The agent knew that Gibbs wasn't buying his excuse of simple nightmares. They both knew that whatever it was haunting him went beyond a bad dream-something in his mind was begging for release, and he was either unable or too scared to unlock the boxes that he had relegated his bad memories. His mother's overdose, the subsequent years of loneliness, Kate's death, and anything else that caused him emotional distress, were effectively placed in a specific box and buried. Was there something that he had missed? Perhaps he had buried a box so deeply that he had forgotten its existence or perhaps, he _was _just going crazy.

Forcing himself back to the present, he met Gibbs' steely gaze. In an effort to lighten the mood, Tony joked, "You just want me to get back to work. I knew you missed me, Gibbs. Admit it, McGee and Ziva are driving you nuts."

"Maybe a little," Gibbs conceded.

"I knew it."

Before Gibbs could reply, his father entered the living room and gathered up his belongings. "I uh…something has come up, Junior," his dad announced. "We'll have to take a rain check on dinner."

"I'm fine. Thanks for asking," Tony growled.

"Oh, yes. Well, it seems like you're in good hands with Agent Gibbs; I'm sure that you'd prefer his company anyway," Senior shot back. "I'll call you tomorrow."

With that half-hearted promise, Senior had shown himself out the door. Tony looked over at Gibbs and shrugged. "See what I mean? There's always something more important than family."

"Bastard," he heard Gibbs mumble under his breath.

Tony silently echoed the team leader's sentiments. Every once in a while, he wished that he would be wrong about his father, but unfortunately, that never happened; for someone who never saw his dad a lot while growing up, he was an expert at predicting the man's behavior. He closed his eyes once again, tamping down the irritation and disappointment he felt towards his father.

His dad infuriated him by ignoring his wants and needs, but after all these years, it still hurt to realize that he was nothing more than an afterthought to his father. He seriously doubted that he would ever figure out the mystery that was Anthony DiNozzo, Senior, and truthfully, he wasn't sure that he wanted to anymore. His father's life had been a lie, which only made Tony wonder if his dad had ever been honest with him about anything.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Senior breathed a sigh of relief as he slid in behind the steering wheel of his car and shut the door. Pulling out his phone, he dialed the familiar number and waited for his long time friend to answer. After the third ring, Dr. Phillip Mabe answered the phone; the man had served as his family's private physician for years and had averted several situations that had possessed the potential to be very embarrassing for him.

"Hello?"

"I'm sorry I couldn't talk to you a few minutes ago," Senior stated. "I was at Tony's place and I didn't want to take the chance on anyone overhearing our conversation."

"All right," the doctor said. "What's up? It's been a long time since I've heard from you."

"He's remembering." He knew that Phillip would know what he was talking about and that a further explanation wouldn't be necessary. Senior's worst nightmare was coming true and he desperately needed help in thwarting what could be disastrous for him and his reputation.

"That's impossible," Mabe exclaimed.

"I thought so too, but there has been a situation and…" Senior pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't want to get into this over the phone. Meet me at my hotel tomorrow morning at nine and you better have something figured out. I can't have this come out now; I'm about to secure the biggest deal of my life."

"All right. Where are you staying?"

Senior gave the doctor the pertinent information and then hung up his phone. He slung it on the seat beside him and stared up at his son's apartment. "I'm sorry to do this, son; but I don't have a choice. I'm not just doing this for me; I'm trying to help you as well. Believe me, you don't _want_ to remember."

**Well, I'm back and finally catching my breath. I do apologize for the length between updates, but work was a bear last week so there wasn't a lot of writing time. Anyway, I did give you a little longer post to reward you for your patience and I do hope you enjoyed it. Thank you all for your continued support and encouragement not only for this story but for all of my stories. **

**Special thanks to AZGirl for catching my brain stumbles! You are awesome! Any remaining mistakes are mine. **


	7. Chapter 7

Part 7

Tony pulled his comforter up around his shoulders as he fought the now constant chill that coursed through his body. He'd been struggling to get warm for the past couple of hours, even resorting to turning up the heat in his apartment; however, nothing seemed to alleviate the coldness that had taken hold of him. The last thing that he needed was to get sick, but it seemed that once again fate was conspiring against him. Between the chill and the sporadic cough that was starting to make its presence known, Tony knew that he was going to have a difficult time hiding his oncoming illness from Gibbs.

_Maybe a visit to Ducky wouldn't hurt after all. _

He decided to see the ME first thing in the morning, provided he ever got to sleep. Despite the fatigue that had haunted him all day, Tony had yet to fall sound asleep. Whenever he would close his eyes, a drowning sensation would begin to overwhelm him and he would wake up in a panic, gasping for air; it was easier to simply stay awake and try and figure out what the hell was wrong with him. The problem with that particular solution was that he couldn't stay awake forever; he needed to sleep, especially if he was going to go back to work in the next few days.

His thoughts drifted back to earlier that night as he tried to piece together the memories that wanted to stay hidden beneath the surface. Tony realized that if he could figure out who the boy was that haunted his dreams, then perhaps the other pieces of the puzzle would fall into place. The recurring vision, for lack of something else to call it, was causing him more distress than he wanted to admit. He felt out of control and Tony knew that once his control started slipping, that he opened himself up to the scrutiny of others.

Tony glanced over at his clock to discover that he still had three hours before he normally considered getting out of bed. He sighed in disgust, realizing that he couldn't stay in bed and toss and turn the rest of the night. The agent slowly sat up, struggling against the wave of dizziness that assaulted him. "Probably not your brightest idea, Anthony," he mumbled to himself.

After allowing himself a few seconds to gather his bearings, he disentangled his legs from the sheets and slowly stood up, pulling the comforter around his shivering frame. Carefully making his way to the kitchen, he poured himself a glass of milk and headed into the living room. Falling on the couch, he curled up on his side and reached for the remote that was lying on the coffee table. He began to flip through the channels, hoping that he could find something that would catch his interest.

He came upon the news channel and saw his picture flash across the screen. "Let it rest," the ailing agent silently pleaded as he half-listened to the newscaster. Tony began to change the channel when he saw the boy he had rescued being held by his mother as the reporter interviewed her. Turning up the volume, he caught what appeared to be the end of the interview.

"_So, tell me, Mrs. Bryson, how is Adam doing?" the reporter asked._

"_He's fine. A little shaken up, but so am I," the mother replied._

"_That had to be a very frightening experience for you both."_

"_It was; I'm just so thankful to Mr. DiNozzo for saving Adam," she sobbed. "I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't come along. I wish I could thank him again for…for…" The mother broke down and hugged her child closely. "Wherever you are, Mr. DiNozzo, God bless you."_

_The reporter turned back to the camera. "I think everyone at this news station echoes Mrs. Bryson's sentiments." The correspondent cleared her throat as she continued her report. "We do know that Mr. DiNozzo lives in Washington D.C., and was out for his morning run and the rest, as we say, is history. We hope to get in contact with Mr. DiNozzo to get his side of the story and possibly reunite young Adam with his rescuer. This is Abigail Turner from ZNN news."_

Tony changed the channel; he didn't want to hear any more about his 'heroic' deed. Truthfully, the agent didn't feel like a hero; he just happened to be in the right place at the right time and thankfully, was able to save the boy. Hopefully after a couple of days, his celebrity status would fade away and he would resume his normal life. He quietly laughed at the thought of being able to describe his life as normal.

At times, it felt like he was trapped between the person that he was and the person he wanted to be. Tony tended to be guarded, even around his friends; he wished that he could leave his mask off for a little while so people could get to know the real Tony DiNozzo, Jr. It had been ingrained in him from a young age that he couldn't let anyone find the chink in his armor; he had learned this lesson so well that his own father was still unable to figure out the complicated man that Tony had become.

His father. The man was truly an enigma and Tony doubted that he would ever understand exactly what made his father tick; at the moment, he was too tired to once again contemplate that particular mystery of the universe. He did have to admit that his dad's behavior last night had thoroughly confused him. Tony hadn't been surprised by his dad's refusal to acknowledge his wish to be alone, but the sudden jaunt down memory lane had been completely unexpected. His father very seldom talked about his mom or his childhood and yet, the older man had willingly brought up what he considered to be an obscure memory, seemingly expecting Tony to know what he was talking about. Once again, he had failed to live up to his dad's expectations.

Sighing in disgust, he cut off the TV and simply laid on the couch in the darkness. Tony felt miserable but his physical ailments were the least of his worries; the agent was more concerned about the fact that he seemed to be losing his mind. "What is wrong with me?" he mumbled to himself.

Deciding that he wasn't going to be able to fall asleep on the couch, the ill agent slowly rose off the couch and headed back to his bedroom, his blanket still wrapped around his shoulders. The recent discussion with his father had resulted in Tony being drawn back into the past—a place that he usually avoided. Opening his closet door, he reached to the farthest corner of the overhead shelf and pulled out an old box of photographs. Tony had taken the box from his mother's room after she had died and had kept it hidden for years. Wherever he went, he took the carton of pictures with him; they were the only connection to his mother and his childhood that he had left. It had been years since he had looked at any of the photos and he wasn't sure why he felt the urge to look at them now. Tony had always been satisfied to know that he had still possessed some memories of his mom that refused to fade despite his father's attempts at sometimes denying her very existence.

As he made his way over to his bed, he was forced to succumb to another bout of coughing. Placing the box on his nightstand, he sank into the bed as he struggled to catch his breath. "This is just great," he gasped, moving so he was now sitting against the headboard. "Gibbs is gonna kill me." Tony coughed again, wondering what else could go wrong.

Leaning his head back against the headboard, he closed his eyes, unable to fight the desire to go to sleep. Tony knew that once he gave in to slumber's beck and call, the nightmares would come, but he was suddenly too tired and whether he wanted to admit or not, too sick, to fight the necessity of staying awake. The last thing he remembered was hoping that he would feel better in the morning so that he wouldn't have to face Gibbs' and Ducky's well-meaning ministrations. As he drifted off, the dreams came and he was helpless to stop them.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Anthony DiNozzo, Senior paced the length of the living area in his penthouse suite, impatiently waiting for the arrival of his long time friend and family physician, Dr. Phillip Mabe. He hadn't slept at all last night, the burden of losing the reputation that he had crafted over the years, was weighing heavily on his mind. Senior couldn't afford to have Anthony remember what had happened all those years ago. His son wasn't supposed to have any memory of that horrible day, but because of a similar incident, over thirty five years later, the buried memories were clearly resurfacing; their conversation that previous night had confirmed his suspicions.

His thoughts drifted back to that fateful night when he was waiting for Dr. Mabe to come and talk to him. After the early morning tragedy, he had managed to get his family back into the security of their exquisite home and call the doctor. He had lost so much that particular day, but the decisions that he was forced to make were made to protect him and his family from certain scandal and what he deemed to be unnecessary pain and humiliation. Senior hadn't regretted the choices he had made, but he certainly didn't need ghosts rising from the dead.

_***flashback***_

_Senior stood at the bottom of the stairwell, cigarette in one hand and a stiff drink in the other; he still couldn't believe what had happened and that Adam was…gone. Why wasn't Liz watching the boys? Actually, he knew exactly why she hadn't been watching the boys; his wife's attention had more than likely focused on telling her long-time lover that they could no longer see each other, than on taking care of the children. He had found out about Liz and Daniel Thomas a couple of days ago and had threatened not only to take the children, including her beloved Adam away from her, but he had threatened to cut her off financially as well. _

_Liz had been devastated at the prospect of losing the lifestyle that she had become so accustomed to and had agreed to end the affair. If she had refused, then he would have put her out on the streets without a penny to her name, never giving his actions a second thought. Despite the fact she came from a wealthy family in England, Liz had yet to receive any of the money that rightfully belonged to her. In fact, her father had given him the control over her inheritance, and with the exception of the money allotted for the boys' education, Senior made sure that he maintained a powerful hold over her finances. He was completely aware of the fact that she resented him for his total need to micro manage everything, including her personal life, but she knew how he was when he had asked her to marry him. _

_His wife had lamented the next day or so over what she was being forced to do, but had resigned herself to the fact that she didn't have a choice. Unfortunately, the day that she was meeting with Daniel happened to be the very day that their nanny had been called away on a family emergency, so she had to bring the boys with her. From what Senior could gather from the distraught woman, she had told Anthony to watch over Adam while she talked with Thomas; it had been unfair for Liz to place a huge responsibility on the young boy's shoulders. Knowing his oldest son, he knew that Tony had taken his job very seriously, but it had only taken a few seconds of distraction for Adam to fall in the river. Tony had apparently dived in after his brother, but despite his best efforts, had been unable to pull him out of the water and could only watch as the young boy sank farther and farther away from him. _

_The businessman was glad that he had listened to his instincts that day and had decided to follow Liz. Senior hadn't trusted her not to double cross him and he had arrived in time to see Daniel pulling Tony out of the water. His gut was in a knot as he jumped out of his car and ran towards the end of the pier. By the time he had reached his family, Liz was crying hysterically and Anthony was in a near catatonic state. Glancing around, his heart began to pound even harder when he realized that Adam was nowhere to be found. He whirled around to face Liz, demanding to know where Adam was; the only answer that she could supply was consumed by the cries for her lost child. Unable to make sense of what she was saying, Senior grabbed Tony by the shoulders and asked him the same question. His son had simply looked at him with those expressive orbs, silently begging for forgiveness. _

_Releasing the boy, he walked over to the edge of the pier and stared down into the water, searching for a sign that his youngest son was still alive. The murkiness of the water matched the dark cloud that seemed to hang over his heart; his son was dead and nothing would bring him back. A moment of fleeting guilt and past regrets nibbled at his soul, but he would have to deal with them later; right now, his priority was making sure that neither he nor his family suffered the repercussions of the tragedy that had just occurred. _

_Senior shook his head as he walked back over to his wife. At that moment, he wasn't sure if he was supposed to feel sorry for her or hate her, but he really didn't have time to consider his feelings. His youngest son had just drowned because his wife and lover were so involved in saying goodbye that she failed to watch over the child that she so desperately loved. _

_Adam had always been her favorite; it had been obvious from the first day that they had brought him home. Tony had never seemed bothered by Liz and Adam's bond, but then again, very few things seemed to bother Anthony. Now Adam was gone and she had no one but herself to blame; of course, Liz was already indiscreetly shifting the blame to Tony and he was obviously prepared to accept the burden. _

_Blowing out a long breath, he forced himself to focus on what he needed to do. The first thing he had to do was contain the situation before it spiraled out of control. Fortunately, aside from Liz, her former boyfriend, and Anthony, the pier was basically deserted; the last thing he had wanted was to draw attention to what had happened. With a stern warning to Daniel to keep his mouth shut, Senior made a phone call and then collected his family and ushered them into the limousine, away from the heartbreaking scene of Adam's demise. They sat in the car until the divers arrived to see if they could retrieve the young boy's body. Leaving his wife and surviving child in the car, he got out and made sure that his men knew exactly what he expected of them. They were to notify him for further instructions whether or not they found Adam's body; hopefully by then, he would have a plan for either contingency._

_Satisfied that his orders would be followed, Senior rejoined his family and whisked them away from the pier. He refused to look at his spouse; there was nothing she could say that would allow him to ever forgive her. She had caused him enough embarrassment to last a lifetime. There was no way that he could allow anyone to discover that his son had drowned because of his wife's infidelity; his career couldn't survive such a scandal and he had to figure out exactly what he was going to do. There wasn't time for grief; the only thing that mattered was how he was going to protect Junior's future and the DiNozzo name. _

"_Anthony?" Dr. Mabe called out to him, bringing him out of his musings. _

"_Phillip," he quietly greeted his friend as he put out his cigarette. "How are they?"_

"_I've given Liz and Tony a sedative. Your wife finally drifted off to sleep a few minutes ago; Tony is actually fighting the medication so if he's still awake when I check on him again, I'll see about giving him something else."_

_Senior acknowledged the doctor with a slight nod. "I'd appreciate it if you'd stay around for a while."_

"_I was planning on it."_

_He motioned for Phillip to follow him and together they walked into his study and over to the bar; he fixed the doctor a drink and handed it to him. "Did she say anything?" he wanted to know. _

"_She was crying for Adam; you know how she felt about him."_

"_I know. Adam was her pride and joy; he could do no wrong. Unlike me," he added._

"_Give her time. She's grieving."_

"_Of course she is," he growled, his icy tone betraying the anger and contempt he still felt for his wife. Senior polished off his drink and then poured himself another one. "She has only herself to blame."_

"_She doesn't blame herself, she blames Tony."_

"_I know."_

"_Do you?" the doctor asked. _

_He thought for a moment before he answered. "Yes, because I also blamed him for a brief second," Senior admitted. "I blamed him until I looked in his eyes and I knew that…well, I knew that what happened wasn't his fault. Junior tried to save him; I can't say the same for Liz and her…" He swallowed hard. It wasn't his fault," the elder DiNozzo repeated._

"_Maybe you should tell him that." _

_Senior met the physician's insistent gaze; Phillip had always had a soft spot for Anthony. He hoped he could play on that sense of favoritism as he tried to figure out a solution to his current dilemma. "I won't have to if you help me."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Tony doesn't have to remember anything about today."_

"_I still don't understand…"_

"_Phillip, let's not be coy about this; I'm not in the mood to play games." His friend wasn't known for his ethics; his private practice had catered to the rich and Senior had been employing his services for the past several years. He paid the doctor a handsome salary as his family's personal physician, which had kept his wife happy, especially with her various 'health' problems. "Now's not the time to develop a conscience."_

"_What do you want me to do?" Mabe reluctantly inquired._

"_I want you to make sure that Tony doesn't remember what happened today; he doesn't need to live with that memory."_

"_But what about your wife? Won't she remember?"_

"_She deserves to remember!" he spat. "But she won't say anything to Tony; I'll make sure of that. I'll take care of Liz."_

_Thankfully, Dr. Mabe didn't press the issue. Instead, he asked, "How are you going to explain Adam's death?" _

"_I don't have to explain a single thing."_

"_I hate to disagree with you, Tony, but how are you going to explain that you only have one son?"_

_Senior could no longer hold back the rage that had been threatening to consume him. He threw his glass against the far wall. "I've always had one son! You know that! Adam was not my son! I treated him like a son and I loved him like a son, but when it came down to it, he belonged to that bastard that she's been sleeping with for the past four years!" _

_Pinching the bridge of his nose, Senior blew out another frustrated breath as he forced himself to relax. He shouldn't have lost control, but sometimes the mask would slip and he couldn't maintain the suave persona he usually portrayed. "So, you tell me, Phillip; what are you going to do?"_

"_I'll take care of it," the doctor vowed. _

"_See that you do. I'm going to have a word or two with my wife. If the men get back from searching for Adam's body, tell them to wait for me," he instructed. _

_He left the doctor to carry out his instructions and slowly made his way upstairs to see his wife. Senior was more than prepared to handle Liz; he would make sure that they were on the same page concerning what had happened today. It was time for him to do some damage control and hopefully through his actions, he'd be able to save his other son from a lifetime of guilt as well as protect the DiNozzo reputation._

_***end flashback***_

"Anthony?"

He turned around at the sound of his name as Dr. Phillip Mabe entered his suite. Senior poured himself a drink and then fixed one for his friend. Handing him the glass, he thanked the physician for coming.

"You're welcome," Phillip said. The doctor took the drink and studied it as it swirled around in the glass. "Kind of early for a drink, isn't it?"

"Normally I'd agree with you," DiNozzo stated. "However, I think under the circumstances, a drink is warranted."

"So, you want to tell me what's going on?"

Taking a deep breath, he began to tell the doctor of Tony's heroic efforts and the subsequent episode that his son had experienced. Senior had to admit that he was proud of the fact that Tony had saved the young boy's life, but the can of worms that his actions had opened was both unexpected and alarming.

"You believe that this young boy that Tony rescued is causing him to have flashbacks?" the doctor inquired.

"I know it is. I saw him," Senior recalled. "It was like he was a little kid again; he…_he doesn't need to remember." _

"What exactly do you expect me to do? He's not a child anymore; it's going to be hard to keep him drugged into oblivion and feed him lies."

"I'm sure you can come up with something," he said. "You have just as much at stake as I do."

"I know," Phillip sighed, pulling out his prescription pad. "I'll get you what you need but it's up to you to get it in his system." .

Senior took a sip of his drink. "You know, Tony didn't look well," he recalled. "Perhaps we could make a house call and you could look him over."

Dr. Mabe shook his head. "I don't know if that'll work; as I recall, your son is pretty leery of anyone in the medical profession."

"Yes he is," he conceded. "However, the last thing Tony wants is for Gibbs to know he's sick; Junior might actually welcome a little help if it means keeping his weakness hidden from the super soldier."

"You think he'll accept help from us?"

He nervously cleared his throat. "You might be surprised, Phillip; Junior and I have come a long way in the past couple of years."

"Enough for him to trust you?"

"Of course!" DiNozzo had uttered those words before he had even considered the question. He was aware of the fact that Junior didn't trust him, but he wasn't about to admit that to anyone, including his long time friend.

"You better hope so."

Senior knew that Phillip had a valid point. The trust between them had been shattered the day that he had sent Tony to boarding school, and it had taken years before the bridge between them had been reopened to the point where his son could tolerate his presence. He was going to have to resort to once again manipulating Junior into doing what he wanted; failure to do so was not an option. Senior had to gain control of this situation even though Tony would have to pay the price. The past should remain in the past, and he was prepared to do everything in his power to make sure it stayed buried beneath the catacombs of time.

**Well, the past is beginning to unfold and I'm sure that after this chapter, you have more questions and I assure you they will be answered. Thank you all for your patience and I do hope the chapter has been worth the wait. I'm blessed to have such awesome readers.**

**Thanks to AZGirl for the awesome beta; I added and changed a couple of things after she proofed it, so any mistakes are mine and mine alone. **


	8. Chapter 8

Part 8

It was the sound of his phone ringing that finally woke Tony from his fevered dreams. He blindly fumbled for his phone and somehow managed to find the answer button. When he finally managed to speak, he was surprised by the hoarseness of his voice; Tony sincerely hoped that it wasn't Gibbs who was calling. "Hello?" he rasped.

"DiNozzo?"

_Crap!_ Of course it would be Gibbs; who else would call him at this ungodly hour? He squinted at his clock to discover that it wasn't as early as he had believed it to be; Tony realized that he had been asleep for several hours, but he still didn't feel rested. The young man knew he could attribute his fatigue to the illness that seemed determined to plague him and the nightmares that haunted him. Something was going to have to give; he couldn't keep up the façade much longer.

Clearing his throat, he answered, "Hey, Boss."

"You sound like crap; I can only imagine what you look like."

"Sorry," Tony apologized. "I just woke up."

"Really?"

Why couldn't Gibbs leave well enough alone? He realized that the team leader was showing his concern in his own unique way, but at the moment, Tony just simply didn't have the energy to concoct a lie to hide his obvious discomfort. His boss could see right through him; Gibbs always knew when he wasn't being completely honest.

"Just a cold," he finally admitted.

"Ducky needs to check you over," Gibbs insisted.

"I know," he relented, too tired to even offer the slightest protest. "I'll come by later today."

"You stay put; Duck will make a house call."

Tony despised the extra attention that Gibbs believed to be warranted; the agent hated appearing weak, especially in front of the team leader. He just wanted to be left alone so he could sleep off whatever bug was coursing through his body, but Tony knew that his wish wouldn't be granted. "Gibbs, I…"

"No argument."

"'kay," he mumbled, knowing that he had been beaten.

"Other than being sick, how are you?" the older man asked.

"Tired." He stifled a cough, not wanting to give the Marine something else to worry about.

"Any nightmares?" Gibbs pressed.

Tony's gut instinct was to tell his boss that he had slept like a baby, but Gibbs would never believe it, especially after witnessing his episode last night. He realized that the seemingly omniscient team leader was aware of the fact that his dreams had been haunted by memories that Tony couldn't explain. "A few," he sighed. "I don't really remember anything about them; truthfully, I'm not sure if I would call them nightmares."

His mentor probably already thought he had lost his mind, and he didn't want to add fuel to the fire by telling Gibbs that he constantly felt like he was drowning or about the scared little boy who seemed to be forever etched in his mind. Tony wiped his brow, knowing that the perspiration was indicative of the fever that was taking its toll on his body.

"Then what would you call them, DiNozzo?"

"I don't know, Boss. I wish I did."

"Have you talked to Dr. Cranston this morning?"

"Nope. Like I said, I just woke up not too long ago, but I'm sure she'll be calling soon." At least Tony hoped that she would. He was at a loss to explain the connection he felt to Rachel; his only reasoning as to why he felt so at ease around her was the relationship that he had shared with her sister. Kate would always hold a very special place in his heart; there were days that he still thought about her and how things could have been different if only…

Pushing those thoughts from his mind, he forced himself to concentrate on what Gibbs was saying. Tony didn't need to open up that particular Pandora's Box; he had enough guilt to deal with at the moment.

"Ducky and I will be over as soon as we can get away," Gibbs declared.

"I'll be here."

"You better be."

The line went dead and Tony knew that Gibbs had hung up. "Where else am I gonna be?" he mumbled. Slowly sitting up, he closed his eyes against the dizziness that was assaulting him. Maybe getting up wasn't such a good idea; if it wasn't for the fact that he was going to have company, Tony probably would have crawled back under the covers and stayed in bed. It was that temptation that allowed him to surmise that he must truly be sick. He usually functioned on a minimal amount of sleep and the fact that he _wanted_ to sleep should have concerned him, but he was too tired to care.

A knock at his front door quelled any ideas he had about going back to bed. Pulling his comforter around his shoulders, he slowly made his way down the short hallway and through the living room to the front door. "Wonder who that could be. Even Gibbs doesn't drive that fast." He absently rubbed his throat, frustrated by the hoarseness that had taken place of his normal voice.

Looking through the peephole at the identity of his visitor, he was almost disappointed when he saw that it wasn't Gibbs or Ducky standing outside his door. Tony's gut wrenched at the sight of his father; his dad was the last person that he wanted to see, and to make matters worse, his old man had brought along someone with him. He rarely met any of his dad's business colleagues or friends; why did Senior feel the need for him to do so now? Knowing that the elder DiNozzo wouldn't leave until he had completed whatever business had brought him to the apartment, Tony reluctantly opened the door.

"Dad," he quietly greeted. "What are you doing here?"

"You look like crap, Junior," Senior stated, pushing his way past Tony into the apartment.

Tony stood aside as the other man fell into step behind his dad. He felt like he should know his dad's associate, but he couldn't put the face with a name. "So I've been told," he shot back. The agent wasn't in the mood to talk to his father, but as he knew all too well, Senior didn't care what he wanted.

"I knew that you were sick last night when I was here," his dad said, placing a grocery bag down on the counter. "You probably should have gone to the emergency room."

Tony stared at his father, confusion etched upon his exhausted features. Senior was openly demonstrating actual concern towards him, prompting him to feel his forehead to see if his fever had climbed high enough to cause him to have hallucinations. The fact that his dad had been carrying a bag of groceries only served to exacerbate the feeling that something was amiss with the situation; Senior had never carried anything but his brief case his whole life. "Dad? Why are you here?" he asked again.

"I was worried about you."

_Yeah, right. _ Fortunately, those words never escaped his lips. Normally, he would have been able to come up with a sharper retort, but his mind was too tired to string the words together. Tony coughed into his arm as he made his way over to the couch, struggling to stay upright until he was able to collapse on the cushion.

"Do you remember Dr. Phillip Mabe?" Senor inquired. "He's…"

"I remember him," Tony said, finally able to place the face with a name. Dr. Mabe had been his father's personal physician for years, but he had no idea that his dad still had an association with the doctor. The only thing he truly remembered about Phillip Mabe was that he had been a constant presence in the house right after…

He stared at the doctor, trying to fill in the sudden blank that his mind had become. There was something nagging at the edge of his memory and Tony had no idea what that something was. What was it about Dr. Mabe that seemed to set off the alarms in the back of his mind? His gut was telling him that something wasn't right, but his muddled brain couldn't make the connection.

"I, uh…figured you would," his dad replied. Senior cleared his throat as he sat down on the edge of the couch. Tony should have been suspicious of his father's unusual display of concern, but it simply took too much energy to consider his dad's current motives.

Senior continued, "Anyway, Phillip and I ran into each other at the hotel and started talking about the old days. He asked about you, and when I told him about your heroic act and how I thought that you were getting sick from your unexpected swim, Phillip insisted on seeing you."

"Dad, I'm not up for a social call," Tony tiredly informed him.

"This isn't a social call, Junior; it's a house call. I thought maybe you would feel more comfortable with…"

"I've got a doctor and he's on his way over."

"Phillip is already here and…"

"No, Dad." He glanced up at the doctor, uncertainty and doubt still plaguing his thoughts. There was something about the physician that bothered him, but he simply couldn't put his finger on what that particular something was. "It's nothing personal, Dr. Mabe." Of course, he felt so bad that he didn't care whether the doctor was offended or not.

"None taken, Anthony. It has been a long time and I certainly understand your reluctance."

"Well, I don't," Senior fumed. "Phillip is just trying to help, Junior. I noticed that you were doing your best to hide the fact you were sick from Gibbs. I know you don't like to appear frail and pathetic in front of him; of course, why you're so worried about what he thinks is beyond me."

Tony flinched at his father's words. He hated to admit that his old man was right. Gibbs counted on him to be on top of his game and Tony knew he couldn't do his job if he were too sick. On the other hand, he still didn't trust his father; something was off about the whole situation. His dad was seemingly worried about his physical well-being and that in itself, was very unusual; for crying out loud, he had almost died from the plague and his father never even sent a get well card.

"Dad," Tony sighed. "Just…just don't worry about me; I'll be fine."

"Let him prescribe you an antibiotic at the very least and…"

"No, Dad! God," he cried out in frustration. "Why can't you just listen to me for once?"

Tony's outburst cost him dearly as he began to violently cough. Before he could protest, his father had moved, allowing Dr. Mabe to move beside him; the physician opened his bag and pulled out his stethoscope to listen to his lungs. Tony waved him off as he pulled the blanket tighter. "Leave me…alone," he whispered, his voice barely audible over the wheezing.

"Anthony! Let him help!" his father demanded.

"No. Just give…me…a minute."

"How about something to drink?" Senor offered. "I brought you some orange juice; your mom used to fix it for you when you were sick. Do you remember that? She used to squeeze it fresh; now, I didn't go to that much trouble, but I did buy you some with extra pulp."

Again, Tony was taken by surprise at the mention of his mother. However, his father's sudden interest in the past was just going to have to go on the backburner for now; he didn't feel like trying to sift through his father's hidden intentions. The young man nodded as he closed his eyes; his body was wracked with another bout of coughing. After his hacking fit was over, Tony could hear his dad and Dr. Mabe talking in the kitchen, but he couldn't make out what they were saying and truthfully, he didn't care. He just hoped that by acquiescing to his father's sudden attentiveness and drinking a glass of the damn orange juice Senior had brought, the man would be satisfied that he had done something useful and leave him alone.

He had no idea how long it was before his dad returned with the glass of juice. Tony wondered if his dad was trying to assuage his guilt for his actions the previous night. He almost laughed at that thought; his father never felt guilty about anything.

"Junior?" Senior called out, forcing him back to the present. "Sit up and drink this."

Tony did as his father instructed, surprised at how quickly he drained the glass. The juice was cool and it soothed his scratchy throat; he handed the glass back to his dad. Although he hated asking anything of Senior, he couldn't resist the hint of relief that that juice had provided. "More please."

"Of course," Senior obliged.

It didn't take long for Tony to down the second glass of juice. Handing it back to his father, he curled up on the couch, content to simply lay there until he felt better. He felt a cool hand on his forehead; his dad's hand was smooth, not calloused like Gibbs'. Senior's touch didn't comfort him as the team leader's usually did. The agent was uncomfortable with the physical demonstration of what could be construed as affection from his father; he couldn't handle the fact that after all these years, his dad wanted to have something to do with him. If only he had the energy to confront Senior about his intentions, but at the moment, his only thoughts were of struggling to stay awake long enough to ask his father to leave.

"Anthony, please let Phillip look at you," his dad pleaded.

"I'll wait for…Duck," he slurred.

He could no longer hold his eyes open. Tony felt like he was floating as his jumbled thoughts searched for something to hold onto. The ailing man shivered despite the cover around him as he heard Senior urging him to go to sleep.

"Everything is going to be all right, son. I'm taking care of everything; you won't have to remember."

Tony wanted to ask his dad what he was talking about, but he seemingly had forgotten how to form the necessary words. As he drifted towards the blackness of the void that was reeling him in, Tony could hear the hushed voices of his father and Dr. Mabe. What were they up to now? If only he could stay awake. If only…

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"I thought you said that he trusted you."

Senior glared at his old friend, his annoyance evident in his icy stare. "We're still working through some of our trust issues," he seethed. "So, we had to resort to Plan B; I underestimated Tony and I shouldn't have. He'll drink the juice and everything will be fine."

"You really believe that, don't you?" The doctor's voice was laced with disbelief. "He just downed two glasses of the juice; the drug isn't being regulated like before and if you're not careful, your son is going to end up dead."

"I've got it under control."

"No, you don't! This is going to come back and bite you in the ass!"

"That's why _you're _covering _my_ ass," Senior reminded the doctor. "Now, you go on and I'll call you later. I want to make sure that everything is in order before I leave."

He ushered the physician out the door and then turned his attention back to his son. Tony truly looked like the child he remembered, innocent and unaware as to his father's manipulative ways. When the young boy grew into a teenager, Senior had come to realize that Tony wasn't as oblivious as he had first thought; that realization had forced an ever-growing chasm between them that had yet to be breached. Now, his son was an adult who knew all too well what his father was capable of, yet seemingly tried to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Senior felt a pang of regret but managed to push it aside; there was no room for second-guessing himself. He was doing this for Tony and although his intentions may be construed by some as harmful, the elder DiNozzo truly had no choice in the matter; too much was at stake and he couldn't afford to have the skeletons in his closet discovered. "I hope that someday you can forgive me," he whispered.

Tony shivered again and Senior decided that he'd get his son another blanket; after all, that's what a caring father would do. He briefly considered if he was experiencing what some would consider to be fatherly instincts; maybe if he had listened to those instincts earlier in Tony's life, things might have been different between them. "No use wishing for what could have been."

He walked down the hallway into Tony's room. As he picked up the quilt on the end of his bed, Senior caught a glimpse of a box sitting on his son's nightstand. His curiosity was piqued as he opened the carton to reveal a collection of pictures. He instantly recognized the photographs of Tony as a child and of his wife before her untimely death; as Senior thumbed through the pictures, he came across one lone picture of Adam and Tony. Putting the picture back in the box, he put the lid on it and tucked it under his arm. He had to go through all these photos to make sure that there wasn't anything else that would allow his son to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

Making his way back to the living room, he put the box on the counter and placed another blanket on top of Tony, who still remained blissfully unaware of his presence. Slipping into the kitchen, he added the rest of the drug that he had used earlier into the remaining juice, hoping that his son would at least finish off the carton. Part of him couldn't believe that he was stooping this low once again; this definitely wasn't going to earn him any votes for father of the year.

As he put the juice back in the refrigerator, he heard a knock at the door. Quickly pocketing the empty drug package, Senior opened the door to find Dr. Rachel Cranston standing outside in the hallway. He despised this woman just as much as he did Gibbs.

"Dr. Cranston," he icily greeted.

"Mr. DiNozzo, I didn't expect you to see you here," she replied.

"I came by to check on Anthony. He's asleep right now, so perhaps you should come back later."

"I think he'll want to see me."

The last thing he wanted was to get into another argument with the shrink. She unnerved him and she knew it; Dr. Cranston seemed to be able to peel away the layers of his personality and he resented her ability to do so. He motioned for her to come in and then picked up the box lying on the counter. "Make yourself at home, Dr. Cranston; I was just leaving."

"So soon? I hope you're not leaving on my account."

"Don't flatter yourself. My son needs to rest," he reminded her.

"He must be very tired; Agent DiNozzo isn't a heavy sleeper," she pointed out.

"And how would you know about my son's sleeping habits?"

"Observation," she coyly replied.

He decided that it wasn't in his best interest to play games with the doctor. "Like I said, he's not feeling well and he's exhausted; I'm letting him rest and you should do the same."

"I won't stay long."

Senior wasn't sure that the doctor believed that he was concerned for his son, but he wasn't about to stick around and find out. "If Junior wakes up, please tell him that I'll call him later and check on him."

"Of course," she answered, her gaze riveted to the package in his hands. "What's in the box?"

He turned and smiled at the doctor. "That, my dear, is none of your business. Have a nice day."

Without waiting for a response, Senior headed down the hallway towards the elevator, grateful that he had managed to avoid what could have been a disaster. He knew he would have to keep a check on Tony without raising the suspicions of his son's friends; somehow, he imagined that was going to be easier said than done.

**My many thanks to my awesome beta, AZGirl; any remaining mistakes are mine. Thank you all for your continued patience! I'm getting ready to go to the beach but I'll have some updates ready when I get back! Again, thank you all for your support and encouragement! You have no idea how much it means to me! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Part 9**

Dr. Rachel Cranston stared after Tony's father as he quickly made his way down the corridor. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that something was amiss, but unfortunately, she had no idea exactly what that something was. The elder DiNozzo was definitely hiding something; she was an expert at reading people and his body language, nervousness, and defensiveness betrayed the older man more than he realized. Rachel considered chasing him down, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she needed to check on Tony; a visit from Senior usually resulted in the younger DiNozzo needing to sort out his jumbled feelings and this time probably wouldn't be any different.

Once Senior was out of her sight, she entered the apartment to find Tony sleeping on the couch. As she quietly edged closer to him, Rachel noticed the thin sheen of perspiration dotting his forehead. Reaching out, she placed her hand on his brow; frowning at the warmth exuding from Tony, the doctor decided to rouse him so she could properly assess him. She gently shook him and called out his name. "Tony? Tony, wake up."

The only response she received was a low moan. Rachel knew that the agent was normally a light sleeper; both he and Gibbs had mentioned Tony's ability to sleep anywhere while simultaneously being able to remain aware of his surroundings. His hyper vigilance had served DiNozzo well over the years as he served as Gibbs' right hand man, but it was also something had concerned the psychiatrist as she had gotten to know him over the past few months.

Rachel shook him once again. "Tony? I need you to wake up."

This time, Tony opened his eyes for a few seconds but closed them again. She cupped his face in her hand, trying to force him to look at her; unfortunately, there was still no hint of a response. Rachel glanced around to see if there was any kind of medicine lying out in the open; she knew that he usually had adverse reactions to medication and was considering the possibility that perhaps he had taken something and it had simply made him overly sleepy.

The doctor sighed in disgust as she realized that there was nothing except an empty glass on the coffee table. Picking up the glass, she could see the last remnants of what appeared to be orange juice in the bottom. Rachel couldn't see anything suspicious, but then again, she wasn't sure exactly what she was looking for. She briefly wondered if she would be as suspicious had she not seen Tony's father making a rather hasty departure; her brain was screaming at her not to ignore her instincts.

As she pulled out her cell phone to call Gibbs, the team leader walked into the apartment as if on cue; he was followed by Ducky, whose attention was immediately drawn to the all too still form of Tony DiNozzo. Without saying a word, the ME pushed by the two of them and began his own examination of the young man.

Rachel slipped her phone back in her pocket and joined Gibbs, who was standing at the end of the couch. "Good timing," she whispered to the team leader.

She was all too aware of Gibbs' mysterious ability to appear out of nowhere; she had witnessed this first hand and personally, found it disturbing. When she had mentioned it to Tony, he had simply shrugged and told her that it was the Marine's way of keeping him sharp. That was one of the first times that she had realized how DiNozzo felt like he had to continually prove himself valuable to the lead agent. Tony always felt like he had to be on his 'A' game when he was around Gibbs; he never wanted to let the team leader down and truthfully, she wasn't convinced that the depth of devotion was completely healthy. That would be yet another topic for another day.

"How long have you been here?" Gibbs asked, purposely avoiding any small talk.

"Just a few minutes," she answered. "His dad was just leaving when I got here."

Gibbs turned to face her, his expression quickly changing from concern to anger. She knew that the agent wasn't overly fond of DiNozzo's father but at the moment, Rachel had a feeling that what the other man was feeling could only be defined as pure rage. The team leader's own paternal feelings towards Tony seemed to go into overdrive whenever Senior was around; it almost became a silent custody battle between the two men and if they weren't careful, there could be serious repercussions for the younger DiNozzo.

"Tony's dad was here? What did he want?" he demanded to know.

"I don't know. He was leaving with a box tucked under his arm. I came in and found Tony asleep on the couch, but I couldn't wake him up. That's when I was getting ready to call you and…"

The psychiatrist didn't get a chance to finish her sentence. Gibbs squeezed by her and joined Ducky and the two men began quietly conversing. Refusing to allow herself to be treated as a third wheel, she made her way over to where they had congregated. Rachel had a vested interest in Tony, not only as her patient, but as a friend.

"Jethro, I think we need to get him to the hospital," Ducky said. Rachel could tell that the ME was worried and truthfully, so was she. She continued to listen as the physician explained his findings.

"He's barely coherent and I really don't know why. He's running a fever and his lungs sound a little congested, but I don't think that alone would be responsible for the sluggishness that he's exhibiting."

"I'll get him ready," Gibbs offered. "You call for an ambulance and then call Bethesda and see if Dr. Pitt is working."

"Excellent idea, Jethro," Ducky exclaimed. "I do hope he is available; I'd really like him to take a look at Tony."

"Dr. Pitt? Wasn't that Tony's doctor when he had the plague?" she inquired.

Both men looked at her, surprise and confusion etched on their faces. They were clearly taken back that she knew that bit of information. Rachel couldn't tell them that she and Tony had spent a couple of sessions discussing that particular event in his life; of course, she also had the advantage of knowing Kate's viewpoint of the entire situation. The psychiatrist was not about to break the rules of confidentiality, so she simply said, "Kate told me; she was absolutely smitten by the doctor."

Rachel didn't offer any further details about how her younger sister had flirted with the doctor; Kate had actually been more focused on how deeply she cared for Tony. Their experience in isolation had brought them closer and her sister had realized that her feelings for the dark-haired agent went beyond being partners; unfortunately, Kate never got the chance to act upon her feelings. She briefly found herself wondering if Tony had any idea how her sister truly felt about him all those years ago. They had spent the better part of two years playfully bickering like two siblings constantly fighting for dad's approval; however, it was the unspoken bond between them that hinted of feelings that could be classified as something other than familial.

Forcing her thoughts back to the present moment, she was grateful that neither Ducky nor Gibbs seemed inclined to press the issue. Neither of them acknowledged her comment, but instead, continued to focus on Tony; it was obvious that both the ME and the team leader had other things on their minds.

She watched with interest as Ducky stood and walked into the other room to make his phone calls; hopefully, it wouldn't take too long for the ambulance to arrive. Satisfied that the ME had things under control, she fixed her gaze on Tony and asked, "What can I do?"

Before Gibbs could answer, a low guttural groan escaped from Tony's lips. She moved in closer as she listened to the team leader try and rouse DiNozzo. Rachel didn't miss the desperation in his voice, confirming her suspicions that Tony met a lot more to him than just a senior field agent. Yes, the team leader easily fell into the role of a father and right now, he was truly concerned for his son—perhaps DiNozzo's father should take a lesson from Gibbs.

"Tony?" Gibbs called out. "I want you to open your eyes and look at me."

She silently urged Tony to do as Gibbs had asked. Rachel knew that if DiNozzo were going to wake up, he would do so because the team leader had asked him to; Tony's loyalty to Gibbs was something that she had never doubted. At first, she thought that the agent suffered from a severe case of hero worship, but she soon learned that her initial assessment was wrong. Tony admittedly looked upon Gibbs as the father that he had always wanted and even though the Marine would probably never admit it, DiNozzo filled a void in his life as well and it was clearly evident that the older agent wasn't ready to face another loss.

Taking a step closer to the couch, she continued to watch Gibbs' efforts. _Come on, Tony…wake up._

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Tony? I want you to open your eyes and look at me."

The only response was another soft whimper. Gibbs shook Tony's shoulder and called to him again, his tone a bit harsher than before, but he had never been known for his subtlety; he had to figure out what was going on with DiNozzo.

"DiNozzo!" he barked.

"I'm…tired, Boss," Tony finally slurred. "Wanna…sleep."

"Not now. I need you to tell me what's going on."

Gibbs cupped Tony's face. "Tony! Look at me!"

After a few seconds, Tony opened his eyes, and met the team leader's concerned gaze. "Gibbs? What're ya…doin' here?"

The team leader could barely make out Tony's words; if he didn't know better, he would have assumed that DiNozzo was drunk. Gibbs knew that the few times that he had witnessed Tony being inebriated, he tended to seem more vulnerable and that vulnerability was something that few people ever saw. It had always been important to Tony that he kept up appearances; he didn't like people knowing that he had chinks in his armor.

"Checkin' up on you, DiNozzo," he answered. "Tell me what's going on."

"'M fine," Tony tiredly protested.

Gibbs fought against the urge to deliver a head slap to the ailing man; he would definitely save it for a more appropriate time. "You're sick, Tony. Did you take anything?"

"No," was all the younger man managed to say.

"Something's not right," Gibbs muttered to himself. His gut was screaming at him; he just couldn't figure out why. "Tony, we're taking you to the hospital."

"No!"

Tony began to flail his arms and legs as if he were trying to escape. Gibbs immediately noticed that DiNozzo's movements were awkward and clumsy; there was something else plaguing his senior field agent besides his fever and cough. Wrapping his arms against the struggling man, he soothed, "Easy, Tony; I've got you."

"Dad…you said…no more…hospitals! I'll…take…my…medicine!"

Gibbs exchanged confused glances with Rachel, who had been standing over them, watching the scene unfold. He had a feeling that it wasn't simply his declaration to get Tony medical help that triggered the vehement protest. The implications of Tony's words conjured up images that the Marine didn't even want to consider; he wasn't sure what DiNozzo was referring to, but he had a feeling that if Senior was involved, it couldn't be good.

He stared at Dr. Cranston, hoping that she could provide some answers. Gibbs was aware that she would never violate the doctor-patient confidentiality clause, but maybe this particular revelation didn't fall under it. As if she could read his mind, Rachel shook her head and replied, "I don't know, Gibbs. This is new to me."

He tightened his grip as Gibbs continued to try and reassure Tony and bring him back to the present. Ever since DiNozzo had rescued that boy, he had been caught up in what the team leader could only define as flashbacks; unfortunately, Tony never claimed to remember them and he figured that this time wouldn't be any different. "Tony, you're sick," he tried to reason. "We just want to make you feel better."

Tony shook his head in defiance. "No…no…'m not sick. I don't…remember…won't talk…Adam."

His agent's voice faded as unconsciousness claimed Tony. Despite the fact that DiNozzo was now dead weight, he managed to hold him up and pull the blanket around Tony's shivering frame. Gibbs despised feeling helpless and right now, that's exactly what he was. _I'm sorry, Tony; I shouldn't have left you alone. _ Although he would probably never say those words out loud, the feelings of guilt and regret still weighed heavily on his mind as he tamped down his anger, not only at himself, but at Tony's father as well.

Gibbs was brought out of his musings by the cultured voice of Ducky informing him that he had called for an ambulance and had spoken with Dr. Pitt. Rachel volunteered to go and wait for the ambulance while he and Ducky tended to Tony. He realized that she probably wanted something to do; she was clearly concerned about DiNozzo.

In all his years of knowing Tony, he would have never thought that he would willingly open up to a shrink. Gibbs knew that events of the past year had taken the young man down a difficult road and she had helped Tony deal with a lot of issues; maybe he felt so at ease with her because of her relationship with Kate. Perhaps one day, he would give it more thought, but right now, his primary concern was getting his senior field agent the medical help he needed.

"I don't know what's going on with him, Duck," Gibbs sighed. "He wasn't making any sense."

"Going by your earlier descriptions, it would appear that Anthony was having yet another flashback," the Scotsman deduced. "Of course, I didn't see the entire episode, but there's no doubt that whatever Tony is experiencing in his mind is extremely upsetting."

Clenching his jaw, he forced down the surge of anger that threatened to consume him. "It has something to do with his old man; that much I'm sure of. When I get a hold of _Mr._ DiNozzo, he's going to come clean." Gibbs was all too familiar with the various techniques that could be used to make a man talk; he had used a variety of them over the years and he wasn't opposed to using them again. Despite knowing where that imaginary line was drawn, he had crossed it several times in the name of justice; the team leader would do no less for Tony.

"Remember Jethro, for all his faults, the man is still Tony's father. You don't want to do anything that would make things awkward for Tony," the ME warned.

Gibbs shook his head. He realized that Ducky had a valid point, but that didn't change the way he felt about the elder DiNozzo. "He hasn't earned the right to call himself a father."

Thankfully, Ducky didn't see the need to offer another counter argument; the ME knew him well enough to realize that now wasn't the time to try and make him see reason. As he continued to hold his ailing agent, Gibbs glanced around the room for anything that might be deemed as suspicious. Tony had claimed that he hadn't taken any medicine and Gibbs was inclined to believe him; DiNozzo and medication did not mix well.

Although there wasn't any evidence of medication, Gibbs couldn't shake the feeling that he was missing something; however, thanks to the arrival of the ambulance, he was going to have to ignore his gut temporarily. As the paramedics approached them, the team leader filled them in on what little he knew about Tony's condition; the only thing he knew for sure was that the cough and the fever were more than likely a result of the rescue. He watched as the two men examined DiNozzo; their faces betrayed their concern when they failed to rouse the dark haired man. Within a few minutes, they had moved Tony to the gurney and were ready to take him to the hospital.

"Would you like me to ride in with him, Jethro?" Ducky asked.

His first instinct was to refuse the ME's offer and ride in with Tony himself, but common sense prevailed over his initial emotional response. Ducky was a doctor and if anything went wrong…Gibbs pushed that particular thought out of his mind; it was simply a precaution. "Yeah," he finally answered. "I'll be right behind you."

As the paramedics wheeled Tony out his apartment, Ducky walked along side, regaling the unconscious agent and the medics with another one of his adventures. Gibbs pulled his keys out of his pockets and started to follow them with Dr. Cranston in tow. "You want a ride, Doc?" he offered.

"I was about to ask you the same thing," Rachel replied.

"I'm in a hurry. I'll drive."

"Whatever you say, Gibbs."

"Glad you're seeing things my way," he deadpanned as they reached his car.

He noticed her appreciatively eyeing the restored Challenger. There were times that he still couldn't believe that his dad had fixed up the old car; the car had always been special to him and now it had even greater sentimental value. Maybe one day, he would pass it down to his 'son'.

"Never pictured you in a sports car, Gibbs," Rachel said.

"I'm full of surprises."

After they got in the car, Gibbs pulled out on the road, keeping the ambulance in sight. "I want you to tell me everything you saw when you got to Tony's apartment," he insisted. The team leader was convinced that something had occurred between DiNozzo and his father. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that Tony's dad was up to something; Senior's only concern was for himself.

Gibbs listened carefully to Rachel's encounter with Senior. He was particularly intrigued by the box that the older man had been carrying; he somehow doubted that the old man had Tony's permission to take the box or whatever was inside it. The Marine was more determined than ever to find out what was going on; Senior's presence never forebode well for DiNozzo. As soon as he was sure that Tony was all right, he was going to pay Tony's dad a visit.

**Contrary to what you all may have thought, I haven't fallen off the earth! LOL School, marching band, and sports are in full swing, so with 3 boys, you know what that means. My laptop also crashed, so I've had to use my computer at work or my son's when he's not using it for school or scouts, so my computer time has been drastically cut down; he'll be gone all weekend, so hopefully, I'll get more done. So really, there's no excuse except real life. I do thank you for your patience and hope that you all will continue to follow this story. In order to get it posted, it hasn't been officially beta'd (don't worry, AZGirl, you're definitely getting the next chapter of OTF to proof!); so all mistakes are mine. Again, thank you all for your continued support. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Part 10**

Gibbs glanced at his watch for the fourth time in the past ten minutes. He hated waiting and that was exactly what he had been doing for the past couple of hours; he desperately needed to know how Tony was doing, but no one had yet to come and talk with them. The team leader didn't like to assume the old adage that no news was good news; he wanted to hear something definite and the longer he was forced to wait, the more concerned he became.

He walked towards the door and stepped out into the hall to see if he could find anyone that could tell him something about Tony. As if on cue, he was joined by Ducky, who had already chastised him several times for his lack of patience. "Jethro, Dr. Pitt promised that he would let us know something soon," the ME reminded him.

"I know," he mumbled. "I just didn't think it would take so long."

"Truthfully, neither did I," Ducky admitted. "But, rest assured, Anthony is in excellent hands."

"Yeah."

The Marine headed back into the waiting room where Dr. Rachel Cranston was pouring herself yet another cup of coffee. He recalled their earlier conversation in the car and was convinced more than ever that Senior had played a big part in Tony's condition. Something was definitely amiss and Gibbs was determined to figure out exactly what was going on; any time Tony's father made an appearance, trouble usually followed him.

"Coffee, Gibbs?" Rachel offered.

"That's not coffee," he growled. "You can't even classify it as sludge."

"Sometimes beggars can't be choosers, Gibbs."

Before he could offer a retort, they were joined by Dr. Brad Pitt. Gibbs had a lot of respect for this doctor; he had saved Tony's life several years ago when the younger man had contracted pneumonic plague. Despite the fact that the virus had been dead after thirty-two hours, double pneumonia had set in, and it was only by the doctor's sheer determination and Tony's stubbornness that DiNozzo had survived. He only hoped that the same perseverance shown back then would still play true today and that Tony would be all right.

"How is he?" Gibbs wanted to know.

His gaze remained riveted to the doctor as he pulled out a chair and sat down. Gibbs couldn't shake the feeling in his gut that something was very wrong with his senior field agent. Upon Dr. Pitt's invitation, the agent pulled out the seat opposite him and waited impatiently for the answer to his question.

"Tony's resting right now," Dr. Pitt began. "He's running a good fever and working on a case of pneumonia, but I've started him on a strong antibiotic; hopefully, we've caught it early enough." A mirthless smile escaped Brad's lips as he nodded his thanks for the cup of coffee that Rachel had set in front of him. "He's going to have to stop going for impromptu swims in the river."

"So, I assume that you're going to keep him for a few days," Ducky assumed.

"Given his history, I think it's for the best," Dr. Pitt stated. "He's already got quite a bit of scar tissue in his lungs, so that's a strike against him." The physician leaned back in his chair, his expression betraying a mixture of concern and uncertainty. Gibbs had a feeling that the development of pneumonia was the only thing the doctor was worried about; there was something else bothering Pitt and the team leader wouldn't be satisfied until he knew what it was.

"Something on your mind, Doc?" Gibbs pressed.

"When Tony came in, he wasn't responsive, so I ordered some lab work."

The knot in Gibbs' stomach tightened even more. "And?"

"The results indicate that he's got quite a cocktail in his system."

Gibbs glanced at Ducky and Rachel, who were listening attentively to the doctor. Knowing Tony's aversion to any kind of drug, the Marine's suspicions immediately turned to DiNozzo's father. "What do you mean?"

"He's got traces of Ativan, Elavil, and an antihistamine in his system. The odd thing is that all the levels are different, which makes me believe that it was randomly mixed."

"Ativan is an anti-anxiety drug and Elavil is for depression; Anthony isn't on any of those drugs," Ducky pointed out.

"I didn't think so, either," Brad said. "Knowing Tony like I do and being familiar with his medical history, I don't think he took them voluntarily."

The team leader had been thinking the exact same thing. With the exception of being paranoid of plague carrying rats, Tony rarely indicated that he was ill; in fact, he usually had to threaten the younger man to take a simple aspirin for a headache. Gibbs knew that Tony didn't want to appear weak, especially in front of others; it was a matter of self-preservation and he truly understood why it was important to his senior field agent to keep up his appearance. Tony's dad had ingrained the importance of keeping his mask firmly in place; Gibbs knew that even after all these years, he was about the only one who ever saw the real Tony DiNozzo.

"Meaning, he had to ingest them unknowingly and unwillingly," Rachel added, stating what everyone else was thinking.

"Yes."

"Oh, crap!" she exclaimed. "The glass!"

The agent stared at the psychiatrist, impatiently waiting for her to explain her revelation. "What glass?" he demanded to know.

"It was sitting on Tony's coffee table; it looked like it had orange juice in it," she recalled. "In all the confusion, I forgot about it. How could I be so stupid?"

He rose from his seat and stood toe-to-toe with Rachel. For a brief second, he saw the same resolve and spirit that Kate had possessed; it was no wonder that Tony felt at ease with her. Forcing himself back to the present, he handed her his car keys and instructed, "Go back and get that glass and take it to Abby. I'll have her meet you at the lab. Also, look and see if there's a carton of juice and take that as well. Tell Abby to call me as soon as she knows what's in it."

"Got it."

He watched Rachel grab her purse and hurry out of the waiting room. Gibbs then turned his attention back to Dr. Pitt. "Is he going to be all right?"

"Yeah, I'm flushing them out. He's still pretty sluggish and sometimes talking out of his head, but give him a couple of hours and he'll be a little more alert."

"I want to see him."

"I really think that you should let him rest for a little while. He's not really making a lot of sense right now."

"All the more reason I need to see him." Gibbs knew that Tony didn't like to be disoriented and personally, he didn't want DiNozzo to be alone.

Fortunately, it didn't take too much persuasion for the doctor to concede. He obviously remembered the last time that they had butted heads over visitation; Gibbs had won that particular battle as well.

"All right," Brad agreed.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. Dr. Mallard and I will go over his chart while you're doing that." Dr. Pitt stood up and gestured for the two men to follow him.

As the trio made their way towards Tony's room, Gibbs found his thoughts drifting once more to Tony. He now recalled seeing the glass, but like Rachel, had been so caught up in helping DiNozzo, he had subconsciously filed it away in his mind. The news that Tony had been drugged gnawed at his gut; his protective nature was emerging at the prospect of one of his own being in harm's way. Although he didn't have substantial proof yet, Gibbs knew that right now, his primary suspect was Tony's father and all he had to do was wait for Abby for confirmation.

"Agent Gibbs?" Dr. Pitt called to him, once again, bringing him out of his reverie.

"Yeah?"

"Tony keeps calling for someone named Adam," the physician informed him. "I know that Adam was the name of the kid he rescued; you might want to assure him that the little boy is all right."

"Yeah…he's done that a couple of times since the rescue," Gibbs recalled. The team leader wasn't convinced that Tony was talking about the boy he recently saved; something wasn't adding up, but he wasn't exactly sure what he was missing. The one thing he was certain of was that Tony's father seemingly held the missing piece.

"Here you go, Gibbs," Dr. Pitt said, stopping just outside DiNozzo's room. "We'll be in my office if you need anything."

Gibbs acknowledged the doctor with a curt nod and then quietly entered Tony's room. He took a moment to study the dark-haired man before announcing his presence even though he knew that Tony could usually sense him without the Marine having to utter a word. Except for the slight crimson flush in his cheeks, Tony was as pale as the sheet that covered and his movements were sluggish as he fought with the nasal cannula.

He walked to the side of the bed and put his hand on Tony's shoulder, prompting his senior field agent to open his eyes. Gibbs breathed a sigh of relief when DiNozzo recognized him. "Hey, Boss," Tony weakly greeted.

Relieved to hear DiNozzo's voice, Gibbs quietly answered, "Hey, Tony."

"Having a little bit of déjà vu?"

"A little bit. At least this time, you don't have the plague," Gibbs pointed out.

"Yeah."

Tony coughed, the harshness of it reminding Gibbs of another time, another place. The team leader didn't like to think about the time that he had almost lost Tony; he couldn't bear the thought of losing another child. He mentally chastised himself for losing focus once again. Gibbs cleared his throat and asked, "Are you up to answering a couple of questions?"

"Questions?" Tony wheezed. "Sure."

DiNozzo closed his eyes; Gibbs realized that the simple act of talking was wearing Tony out. He considered waiting, but if Tony's father was responsible for drugging his son, then he was losing precious time. Senior was very adept at covering his tracks and would deny any sort of accusation that would be made against him. "Do you remember your dad being at your apartment?"

Tony nodded. "He brought dinner over. Introduced him to Rachel…told her that after she met him, it'd explain a lot."

Gibbs knew that Senior couldn't have drugged Tony during that time; there had been too many people around and even when the elder DiNozzo had been talking to his son on the balcony, Tony's dad had never been out of his sight. Senior had definitely returned later and drugged Tony; unfortunately, Gibbs still didn't have a clue as to why DiNozzo's father would do such a thing. However, he knew

"I was pissed because I didn't want…any company," Tony continued, his voice fading as the younger agent struggled to stay awake. "We talked on the balcony and…"

Tony's eyes snapped open and he struggled to sit up. "Adam! Oh my god…where is he?"

The older man eased Tony back onto the bed. "Take it easy, Tony; Adam's fine."

"No," he protested. "He's dead. He's dead."

Deciding to try a different approach, Gibbs asked, "Tony, who's Adam?" Perhaps within the memory that Tony seemed to be lost in, he would be able to tell him exactly who he was talking about.

"Don't cry, Mama. Don't cry," Tony whispered.

Gibbs felt like had been stabbed in the heart. DiNozzo very seldom spoke of his mother; the team leader knew that she had died when he was eight and that he had found her body. He was also aware that she had committed suicide, but Tony had never provided him with any details; Gibbs was beginning to wonder if DiNozzo had blocked the memory or if he simply didn't want to talk about it. The Marine had assumed it had been the latter, but now he wasn't so sure.

"Tony?" he called out once again, his tone quieter. The last thing he wanted to do was spook his friend. "Look at me."

The younger man's eyes spoke of the pain and confusion that was tearing his soul apart. Once again, Gibbs was feeling helpless and it burned him to the core of his being. "Tony, what's going on?"

"Where's my dad? Where's Adam…oh god…he's dead."

Tears were streaming from Tony's cheeks as he struggled to sit up; Gibbs was at a loss as to what to do. "Take it easy, Tony," he tried to soothe. DiNozzo's heart rate was reaching an alarming rate as his breathing became more labored. "Listen to me, Tony," he insisted, his voice resumed a more authoritative nature. "DiNozzo! Focus!"

Gibbs cupped Tony's face with his calloused hand. He knew that he shouldn't push DiNozzo, but he had to get the bottom of these flash backs. In his mind, Gibbs had no doubt that the Adam that Tony kept mentioning was not the same boy that he had just rescued. The team leader had an idea who this particular Adam was and he found himself praying that he wasn't right. Unfortunately, he wasn't going to get his answer at this moment; recognition began to dawn in Tony's eyes.

"Boss?"

The agent gently urged Tony to lie back down. "You're all right, DiNozzo," he assured the sick man.

He noticed how Tony quickly wiped away the wetness from his cheeks. "I'm not so sure about that," Tony mumbled.

Deciding not to push Tony for answers at the moment, he gave his senior field agent a few moments to center himself. He quietly studied the younger man, wondering if DiNozzo remembered what had just happened; perhaps Tony could start filling in the blanks and figure out what had spurred these flashbacks and dreams. Gibbs had his own ideas and he wasn't looking forward to exploring those particular notions.

"Tony?" he called out. "Are you with me?"

"I think so, Boss. I…" Tony coughed once again. "Yeah, I'm here."

"Jethro! He's supposed to be resting!"

Gibbs turned to face Ducky and Dr. Pitt as they purposefully strode into the room. He knew that the ME meant well, but he wasn't in the mood to be chastised. "He _is_ resting, Duck," he snapped as he watched Dr. Pitt listen to Tony's chest.

"Is that so? I guess that's why his heart rate went through the roof?" the elderly doctor taunted. "He's patched through to the nurse's station; we're monitoring him very closely."

"_He _is right here," Tony reminded them.

"I'm sorry, Anthony," Ducky apologized. "We shouldn't be talking about you like you're not here. We're just concerned."

"It's all right," he slurred. "I'm used to that. My dad does it…all the time."

Gibbs and the two doctors exchanged worried glances. He realized that DiNozzo was caught between the past and present; he had to figure out what was going on before he lost Tony completely.

The team leader motioned for Ducky and Dr. Pitt to follow him out of the room. "He was caught up in another flashback," he informed the two men.

"Was it similar to the others?" the ME wanted to know.

"Yeah." Gibbs blew out a deep breath. "Except this time, I think I've figured out exactly who Adam is."

"You have? Well, don't keep it to yourself."

Gibbs shook his head. "I have a thing or two to check out first." If his instincts were right, the results could be devastating for Tony and he wasn't sure how DiNozzo would be able to handle the truth. "I want you to stay with him," he instructed. Everyone who knew Tony knew how much he despised hospitals; Gibbs didn't want Tony to be alone, at least until he was out of his drug induced haze. "Don't let his dad near him."

"Jethro, do you think…"

"I don't know, Duck."

"All right," Ducky conceded. "Let me know what you find out."

"If I can."

He extended his hand to Dr. Pitt. "Take care of him. If you need me, I have my cell."

"All right," the doctor promised. "Is there anything else I can do?"

"Lend me your car." Since Rachel had taken his and Ducky had ridden in with Tony, he was without any mode of transportation.

He nodded his thanks as Brad handed him his keys. "It's the silver Mercedes in the physician's parking lot," the doctor said. "Parking space 23."

Taking the keys, Gibbs then peered in the room one last time at his sick friend, silently willing him to get better. As he walked down the hall to the elevator, he heard Ducky ask the doctor if he had good insurance. The team leader wasn't sure if he was supposed to be offended or not, so he settled for allowing a slight grin to escape his lips.

"Don't worry, Doc!" he called back over his shoulder. "I'll bring her back in one piece."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Anthony DiNozzo, Senior was furious. He had thought his plan had been fail proof; the elder DiNozzo had gone to great lengths to make sure that his son didn't remember the past. However, the one thing he didn't count on was his longtime friend and personal physician leaving behind one of the medicine bottles used in creating the cocktail that would keep the younger man in such a state of confusion that he would forget about the nightmare of losing his brother.

He had learned from Tony's landlady that he had been taken to the hospital. Senior knew that he couldn't afford to waste any time, so under the pretense of getting some clothes for his son, he secured the older woman's key and set out to cover his tracks. Senior could only hope that the bottle hadn't been discovered by Tony's interfering friends; the last thing he needed was to have suspicion cast upon him. He figured that he was on borrowed time anyway; the elder DiNozzo had a feeling that it would only be a matter of time before the hospital discovered that Tony had been drugged.

"Damn you, Phillip!" he cursed under his breath as he made his way down the corridor to Tony's apartment. "What are you trying to do to me? You've certainly caused me a lot of trouble."

As he prepared to unlock the door, a familiar voice called out to him. "Mr. DiNozzo? What are you doing here?"

Senior turned to face Dr. Rachel Cranston. Next to Gibbs, she was the last person that he wanted to see. He found her meddlesome and didn't like the apparent influence she had in his son's life. "Dr. Cranston," he coolly greeted. "I supposed I should ask you the same thing."

"I…uh…came back to get some things for Tony."

Her answer was too quick; Senior didn't have a doubt in his mind that she was lying to him. Dr. Cranston was definitely up to something. "Well, my dear, you don't have to worry about doing that; that's why I'm here."

"So, you know that Tony is in the hospital?"

"Of course I do," he huffed. "After all, he's my son."

He kept his mask firmly in place as Rachel continued to try and catch him off guard. "Tony's really sick," she informed him as she moved to lean against the door frame, her petite presence daring him to unlock the door. "I keep wondering why you didn't call for an ambulance yourself. You were here and saw how ill he was."

"He refused to go," Senior explained. "Anthony can be rather obstinate at times; his stubbornness has always been one of his flaws."

"I think over the years that it's been an asset; his determination has certainly gotten him through some tough times. Besides, I don't think he was able to offer too much of a protest. In fact, you seemed rather anxious to leave," she recalled.

Unwilling to be baited, he tried to push by her and unlock the door. "Please tell Anthony that I will bring his personal belongings to the hospital. Have a nice day, Dr. Cranston."

She remained firmly planted in front of the door. "Aren't you even going to ask how Tony is?"

"I'll find out soon enough when I take his stuff to the hospital. Now, please move."

Rachel shook her head. "I don't think so."

The elder DiNozzo watched as she pulled out her cellphone. Within a couple of seconds, he knew exactly who she was talking to. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't afford for anything else to go wrong, yet he seemed to be fighting an uphill battle and it was one that he was no longer sure that it was one he could win.

Senior blew out a frustrated breath when he heard Dr. Cranston say, "Gibbs, I've got a problem…"

**Again, many apologies for the delay; no excuses except for real life and lack of computer time. Marching band season is almost over, so hopefully a little more free time in the future. I appreciate your patience and continued enthusiasm for this story. I'm blessed with wonderful and loyal readers! **


	11. Chapter 11

**Part 11**

Rachel Cranston pocketed her cell phone as her determined gaze studied the expression of annoyance that now graced Anthony DiNozzo, Senior's distinguished features; it was the same look of irritation that Tony had worn the first time that they had met. The younger DiNozzo had been reluctant to talk to her at first, but their mutual connection to Kate had encouraged Tony to open up to her. There were still times that the agent attempted to downplay his feelings, but after meeting Senior, Rachel believed that she now understood Tony's tendency to hide behind the emotional mask that he often wore. It was a trait that he definitely inherited from his father and it would take a long time to break down those barriers that the younger man had erected over the years.

She knew that she was definitely going to have her work cut out for her, especially if Gibbs and his team were able to prove that Senior had purposefully drugged his own son; if that were the case, there would be a lot more issues to surface that Tony would have to face. Hoping that she wasn't borrowing trouble, Rachel temporarily pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind and remained firmly planted in front of the door, refusing to allow the older man access to Tony's apartment. The doctor realized that Senior was trying to intimidate her but she wasn't one to succumb to scare tactics; if she could handle Gibbs, then she should be able to handle anything Senior could send her way. At least, that's what she kept telling herself; time would tell if her assumptions were correct.

"What do you think you're doing, Dr. Cranston?" Senior testily inquired, clearly displeased with her interference.

"I'm waiting," she replied, knowing that her simple answer wouldn't satisfy the insufferable man.

"I assume you're waiting for Gibbs," he stated, a nervous grin danced on his lips.

"You're correct in your assumption."

The doctor easily sensed Senior's discomfort at the mention of Gibbs' name. She had already witnessed the animosity between the two men, but Rachel had a feeling that things would be getting a lot worse; Rachel just hoped that Tony wouldn't be caught in the middle of their escalating feud.

Senior cleared his throat as he gestured towards the door. "Wouldn't we be more comfortable waiting inside?"

"I don't think so. We'll just wait here."

Rachel stood her ground, silently willing Gibbs to appear. The team leader had instructed her not to let Senior out of her sight, but with Tony's father looking ready to make a hasty departure at any moment, she had a feeling that detaining him was not going to be an easy task.

She watched as the older man anxiously glanced down the hall. "I don't have time for this," he declared. "I'll just stop by the store and pick up a few things for Junior."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea," Rachel said, trying to think of something to say that would prevent Senior from leaving. She didn't want him to realize that he was suspected of drugging his son; the psychiatrist knew that she had to keep him detained until Gibbs arrived and picking a fight was currently the best idea she could come up with at the moment.

Senior glared at her, his expression now reflecting the annoyance that he was obviously feeling. "What do you mean by that?"

Rachel smiled. Senior wasn't the only one who knew how to manipulate people; he was playing right into the palm of her hand. Hopefully, she could keep him distracted for a few more minutes. "I just think that shopping for Tony isn't going to be as easy as you think. You really don't know what he likes," she pointed out.

"I'm his father! Of course I know what my son likes!"

"Really? Aren't you the one that sent him a power sander for his birthday?"

"How do you…I guess Junior told you about that," Senior deduced. "I think you've just violated some kind of doctor patient confidentiality, Dr. Cranston."

"Nope, she didn't. I told her about that."

She breathed an inward sigh of relief as Gibbs rounded the corner. "Good timing," Rachel muttered to the agent as the Marine approached them.

"Got here as fast as I could, Doc," Gibbs assured her as he unlocked Tony's door.

Rachel easily sensed Senior's disgust and aggravation with the situation he currently found himself in. She stood aside as Gibbs opened the door and gestured for Senior to enter the apartment. "Come on in, Mr. DiNozzo," the silver haired agent insisted. "I've got a few questions to ask you."

"I really don't have time," Senior began.

"You can answer them here or I can take you down to NCIS and we can talk there," Gibbs stated.

Rachel watched as Senior entered the apartment with Gibbs close behind him. She was definitely looking forward to the conversation that was about to take place; to say it was going to be interesting was a definite understatement. Closing the door behind her, Rachel walked into the living room, her gaze coming to rest on the glass that she was supposed to have retrieved.

She met Gibbs' stoic gaze as she acknowledged his verbal instructions with a barely perceptible nod. The doctor walked to the kitchen to find a plastic bag as Gibbs took a glove and picked up the glass. After trying a few drawers, Rachel found a bag and went back to the living room to collect the glass. Sealing the bag, she took it and leaned against the door, making sure that the bag was firmly in her grasp; she didn't want to take the chance of something happening to the potential evidence.

"What's going on here?" Tony's father demanded to know.

"I was just about to ask you the same question," Gibbs coolly answered.

The battle of wills was about to begin and Rachel knew beyond a shadow of doubt that Gibbs would emerge the victor. The team leader was fiercely protective of Tony and his commitment to the younger man was something was something that no one dared to challenge. She recalled several conversations with Kate about the unusual relationship between Tony and Gibbs, prompting Rachel to wonder if perhaps her sister had been a little jealous of the familial bond between the two men. Of course, over time, Kate had come to feel like she had belonged to the dysfunctional family; her death had left a gaping hole in the lives of Gibbs and Tony and even after all these years, it was obvious that they still missed her.

Now, Senior was about to discover firsthand the consequences of hurting someone close to Gibbs. Rachel saw the fire and determination in the agent's eyes; she couldn't help but wonder if Tony's father had any idea of the storm that was about to be unleashed.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Tony was supposed to be resting, but his mind refused to allow him any respite. The fog that had been clouding his thoughts was barely beginning to dissipate as he attempted to figure out exactly why he was in the hospital. The nagging cough that plagued him allowed him to deduce that he was probably working on a case of pneumonia, but that didn't explain why he had felt like he was floating in a state of nothingness. He was hoping to get answers from Brad and Ducky when they came in to check on him, providing he could stay awake that long.

Ignoring the slight tremor in his hand, he pressed the button on the control that was attached to the railing and raised the head of his bed, hoping that he would be able to stay a little more alert as well as breathe easier. Tony despised feeling so weak; he wished that he was at home where he could be alone as he nursed himself back to health. Obviously, that idea +hadn't worked so well, or he wouldn't be in the hospital.

He started to try and recall the last conversation that he had with Gibbs. The team leader had been asking him a few questions about his dad and then he had been surrounded by Ducky and Brad, chastising Gibbs for upsetting him. He didn't remember the Marine saying anything that would cause him distress, but it was obvious his memory was spotty at best. The ailing man wished that Gibbs was still here; the agent would definitely tell him what was going on and wouldn't try and sugarcoat the truth.

Tony was brought out of his musings as Ducky and Brad entered his room; perhaps now, he would get a few answers. He realized that the answers might not as be forthcoming as they would if Gibbs were here, but he would get them one way or another.

"Anthony," Ducky greeted. "You look a little better."

"Just keep telling me that," he wheezed. "Maybe I'll eventually believe it."

"It's going to take some time," Brad informed him. "I've got you on some antibiotics so you should start feeling better in a day or two."

Tony nodded. "Hope so."

He could sense that Ducky and Brad had more to say, so he took the burden of awkwardness from them and asked, "What's on your mind?"

Ducky pulled up a chair and sat beside him while Brad remained standing at the foot of his bed. A uneasy feeling began to creep upon him as he wondered if he were ready to handle what his friends were going to tell him. "When we found you and brought you in, you were almost completely unresponsive," the ME began.

Of course he didn't remember coming to the hospital; that was one of those dark spots in his memory. "I guess that explains…why I'm having trouble remembering things."

"Partially."

"What do you mean?" Tony pressed.

He didn't miss the silent exchange between the two physicians and Ducky's almost imperceptible nod to the other doctor, granting him silent permission to continue with an explanation.

"We did some tests and found a combination of drugs in your system," Brad stated.

It took a few seconds for Tony to process what Brad had said. "Drugs?"

"Yes. Mostly Elavil and Ativan; it was a fairly high dose, which caused your unresponsiveness."

He was still confused by the revelation. "I don't take either of those. I…"

"I know," Brad assured him. "I know how you are about medication; why do you think you've got an IV? That's the most sure fired way I know of to make sure you take your antibiotic."

Ignoring his doctor's barb, Tony carefully considered the Brad's words. "Then how did…" As realization dawned upon the sick agent, he raked his hand through his hair. "I was drugged? But how?"

"We think that your juice was drugged," Ducky stated. "At least that's the conclusion that Dr. Cranston and Gibbs have come to; they are at your apartment gathering the evidence."

"My juice? I don't even…keep juice. I…"

Tony couldn't believe what he was hearing. He could vaguely recall his father bringing him some juice and he remembered drinking a glass upon his dad's insistence, hoping that it would satisfy Senior and he would leave. Surely, his father wouldn't have drugged him. Tony pushed these thoughts from his mind; he and his dad didn't always see eye to eye, but he couldn't believe that his old man would stoop so low as to drug him. What could he have possibly done to warrant his own father drugging him? No! It had to be a bad batch of juice; that was the only plausible explanation.

"Anthony? Are you all right?" Ducky gently inquired.

"Yeah," he reluctantly answered. "I guess…Gibbs will take it to Abby and she'll find out it was a bad carton. Right?"

"Tony, we think your father…"

"No!" he barked. Tony regretted using such a sharp tone with the ME, but at the moment, he wasn't sure he could deal with the possibility of what Ducky was about to suggest. "I can't accept that…not right now."

Thankfully, the elderly physician understood. Ducky squeezed his shoulder and soothed, "All right, my boy. We'll give you some time. You just rest now."

Tony nodded as he closed his eyes, hoping that Brad and Ducky would take the hint and leave. He had always known that his dad was manipulative and was used to getting his own way, no matter who he hurt in process; Senior only did things for self-gratification and Tony wasn't sure how drugging his son would be beneficial to his dad. Surely, his father drew the line somewhere, but then again, Tony's gut told him otherwise.

He knew that he wasn't going to find out anything lying in the hospital, so that only left him with one option; unfortunately, he wasn't sure that he had the strength to walk out of the hospital. Tony quickly decided that he would try and rest for a couple of hours and then see how he felt; then, he would try and figure out what the hell was going on.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Gibbs gestured for Tony's father to have a seat. He wondered if the elder DiNozzo had any idea how much restraint he was currently demonstrating; personally, Gibbs wanted to pound the arrogant bastard into the ground for what he had allegedly done to his own son. The team leader had given Rachel time to gather the glass to take to Abby for processing, but given the obvious nervous twitch in Senior's eye, Gibbs had already established the man's guilt.

"Something wrong, Mr. DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, his bitter tone reflecting the anger that was churning inside of him.

"I uh…I'm just anxious to go see Tony," Senior answered. "You're wasting my time."

The Marine visibly bristled at DiNozzo's indignant response. "Well, then let's get down to business." Gibbs planted himself in front of Senior, his steely gaze studying the man's now stoic features. "You know Tony's in the hospital," he began.

Senior crossed his arms and leaned back in the chair. "Yes. I've been trying to get there to see him, but _you _and the good doctor seemed determined to keep me from my son's side."

"You can drop the charade," the team leader growled. "You're not worried about Tony; you're worried that whatever dirty little secret you're trying to hide will be exposed."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Gibbs."

"Of course you don't."

Never taking his eyes off of Senior, he addressed Rachel, who was still standing by the door. "Make sure you get the carton out of the refrigerator and go ahead and take it and the glass to Abby." Although he knew that the scientist was more than thorough, he added, "Be sure she dusts for prints."

"I'm on it," Rachel declared. "I'll call you as soon as we know anything."

He grinned as Senior's expression now betrayed the panic that was obviously beginning to overwhelm him. It was evident that the older man was clearly worried about something and Gibbs was going to find out what that something was. "What's wrong, Mr. DiNozzo? Is there something that you need to get off your chest?"

"I uh…"

Gibbs didn't give the other man time to formulate a response. The team leader was not going to give Senior the luxury of time so that he could come up with yet another lie. "It's time to come clean, Mr. DiNozzo. Let's start with a simple question." Gibbs leaned over Tony's father, purposefully invading the other man's personal space. "Did you drug Tony?"

"That's preposterous!" Senior exclaimed. Gibbs didn't miss the fact that the elder DiNozzo was doing his best to disguise the nervousness that he was now experiencing. "What kind of man do you take me for?"

"I don't think you want me to answer that," Gibbs retorted. "I just want you to answer the question. I have a feeling that when Abby runs those prints, that at least one of them will belong to you."

"Of course my prints will be on the glass. Junior asked me to pour him some juice and I did." A fabricated grin danced on Senior's lips. "It's something that any father would do."

"Tony doesn't keep juice in his refrigerator; in fact, he doesn't even really like it."

"Well, he wanted it and asked me to pick him up some, so I did," Senior reasoned.

Gibbs knew that Tony's dad was trying to cover his tracks. "So did you put the drugs in it before or after you got here?"

Senior bristled at Gibbs' accusation. "I told you that I didn't drug my son! Unless you have proof that says otherwise, I demand that you cease this interrogation and let me go so I can visit Tony in the hospital!"

Tony's father was fuming, but Gibbs refused to back down. "You're not going anywhere! If I have to, I can cuff you and take you to NCIS."

"On what charges?"

"Attempted murder of a federal officer."

Senior shot up from his seat and pushed past Gibbs. "Now, you're going too far! I didn't try to kill my son!"

Gibbs blocked his path, his patience waning as Senior continued to deny drugging Tony. "Then what were you trying to do?"

The wall that Gibbs had been chipping away at was beginning to crumble. Senior's eyes now bore a mixture of anger and regret, prompting the Marine to wonder if Tony's father was actually capable of feeling any remorse. He had Senior backed in a corner and Gibbs didn't have any reservations about taking a sledgehammer to finish breaking down that so called wall that DiNozzo's dad was trying to hide behind.

"Don't make me ask you again," he warned. "What were you trying to do?"

"I was trying to protect him!" Senior blurted out.

"So you drugged him?"

"I don't want him to remember! He doesn't need to remember!"

Gibbs took a step back and stared at Senior in disbelief. All the pieces were beginning to fall into place and he didn't like the picture that was being created; his gut churned as he considered his next words. "What do you mean he doesn't _need_ to remember?" he demanded to know. "Does this have anything to do with Adam?"

He was an expert at reading people and judging by the clenched jaw that Tony's father now sported, he had hit the proverbial nail on the head. The team leader knew that he had thrown the gauntlet and that Senior was going to have to come clean, whether he wanted to or not.

"Adam is none of your concern!" Senior roared.

Tony's father tempted to push past Gibbs once again, but in one swift movement, the Marine had him pinned against the wall. The only thing preventing him from literally tearing Senior limb from limb was the fact that he held the answers to his questions and those answers would hopefully allow him to help Tony.

"Who is Adam?" Gibbs' menacing tone reflected his own anger that was welling up inside him. "Who is Adam?"

The knot in his stomach pulled tighter when Senior confirmed his fears with his biting words. "Adam was his brother!"

It had been the answer Gibbs had been expecting all along, but to hear Senior utter the words still troubled him deeply. "What did you say?" he growled, part of him still hoping that he had been wrong.

"Adam was Tony's brother and he…was my son," Senior said, the flame of rage suddenly going out of his eyes.

Gibbs released Senior and pushed him towards the couch. Tony's father had a lot of explaining to do and he knew that he wasn't going to like what the older man had to say. "Sit down and start talking," he ordered. "And you better not leave anything out."

**Happy New Year! Hope everyone had an awesome holiday/Christmas season! I became the mother of an Eagle Scout in December; my son earned his Eagle Scout and I am so proud. Anyway, December was very busy, but I finally got a nice break with the kids, but they hogged the computer, so it took a while to get my updates ready! Anyway, hope you enjoy them! Thanks for your patience and loyalty. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Part 12**

Anthony DiNozzo, Senior had a feeling that he wasn't going to be able to talk his way out of the mess that he currently found himself in; his efforts to help his son had been grossly misinterpreted by Gibbs and now, the elder DiNozzo was on the defensive. He knew that he was going to have a difficult time trying to reason with the team leader. Gibbs didn't trust him and he certainly wouldn't understand his motivation for protecting his son. The memories of the past needed to remain buried; however, the persistent man sitting across from him was determined to open Pandora's Box.

"I'm waiting, Mr. DiNozzo," Gibbs reminded him, his icy tone reflecting his obvious annoyance and anger.

He cleared his throat. Gibbs' formality was unnerving but he refused to permit himself to be intimidated by the team leader's tactics. He was going to show Gibbs that he was in control of this situation; if only he could convince himself of that fact. "Adam was my youngest son," Senior reluctantly began. "He died…very young." Although he didn't know a lot about Gibbs, he knew that the Marine had lost a daughter; hopefully, he could use the common bond of losing a child to deflect Gibbs' wrath. "Adam…drowned," he continued, his emotions well in check.

Gibbs pinched the bridge of his nose. The fact that the other man didn't seem surprised didn't go unnoticed by Senior. "Tony's never mentioned a brother," the agent mused. "Care to explain that?"

Senior took a deep breath, hoping his purposeful dramatic pause would only make him appear to be the true victim. "Adam's death was very traumatic for Tony, well, for us all. My wife never fully recovered and Anthony…"

"You're didn't answer my question. Why hasn't Tony every mentioned a brother?" Gibbs pressed.

It angered Senior as he was once again reminded of the familial bond between Gibbs and Tony. "I suppose you know everything there is to know about my son."

"More than you do."

He attempted to expel the tension from his body as Gibbs continued to sit before him, reflecting the epitome of calm. "I couldn't stand the thought of Anthony having to live with the guilt of being unable to save his brother." Even though Senior never blamed his son, he hoped that by insinuating that Adam's death was Tony's fault, it would prevent Gibbs from digging further into the past; unfortunately, his ploy didn't work.

Gibbs leaned forward, his hardened gaze searching for the truth that Senior was so hesitant to share. "You said Adam drowned. I take it that Tony tried to rescue him."

Senior blew out a frustrated breath; it was becoming increasingly difficult to maintain his cool façade. He sincerely despised Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs; why couldn't he mind his own business? Gibbs had usurped his place as the paternal figure in Tony's life and now the team leader wanted to destroy him completely. Perhaps he had been wrong in hiding Adam's death, but he had done what he had thought was best for him and his family.

He raked his hand through his hair and glared at the man that he now considered to be his nemesis. "Yes, he did. He tried but he couldn't."

"How old was Tony?" Gibbs wanted to know.

"He was about five, getting ready to turn six."

Judging by the expression of rage that now adorned Gibbs' face, he knew exactly where to lay the blame and it wasn't with Tony. "Where were you? Where was your wife?"

"I wasn't there. Liz was…distracted." He didn't want to tell Gibbs that his wife was supposed to be breaking up with her lover and her preoccupation with that task had resulted in Adam's death. "Adam fell in and Anthony tried to save him, but…"

"He did everything he could do; he should have never been placed in that situation," the team leader challenged. "It was your responsibility to look after your children; seems to me that you and your wife failed miserably. Now, years later, Tony's still suffering for your mistakes; what kind of man are you?"

"I wasn't even there," Senior fumed. "It's not _my_ fault that she didn't want to break…" Taking another deep breath, he blew it out. Gibbs certainly knew how to get him riled and he had nearly fallen into the devious man's trap of self incrimination. "You don't know the whole story, so you should probably keep your observations and your judgments to yourself."

A tiny smile escaped Gibbs' lips. Senior realized that the Marine had only begun spouting off his biased opinions; he quietly reminded himself that he didn't need to lose his cool. "No I don't know the whole story," Gibbs seethed. "However, by the time we're done; I'll know everything."

"Sounds like a threat, Agent Gibbs."

"Interpret it however you want. I'm just stating a fact." Gibbs leaned back against the couch; the elder DiNozzo wanted nothing more than to tell Gibbs exactly what he could do with his facts.

"You've lost a child, Gibbs; surely, you can relate to my pain and not wanting to relive the past," Senior insisted. "What if the shoe was on the other foot and I was interrogating you about your daughter's death?"

Gibbs' expression remained neutral but Senior knew he had struck a nerve. He had to give the man credit; the agent knew how to keep a lid on his emotions. Perhaps that's why it bothered him so much when Gibbs seemingly ignored his attempt at redirecting the conversation. "I'm only going to ask this one more time; why doesn't Tony seem to know that he had a brother."

"The answer is simple, Agent Gibbs; Tony has blocked that particular horror out of his mind."

"I think he had a little help," Gibbs said. "It's all starting to make sense now."

"What are you talking about?"

The agent stood up and began to pace a circle around him. The anger emanating from Gibbs was palpable and Senior wondered if he should fear for his own safety. Under normal circumstances, the protectiveness that Gibbs felt towards his son would be endearing to most parents; to him, it was annoying. Tony and Gibbs shared a bond that he was envious of and that he would never share with his child.

"The boy that Tony rescued the other day; his name was Adam," the agent began to explain.

Senior tensed at the mention of the boy's name; too many memories tended to push their way to the surface and he didn't need to be distracted. He needed to stay on top of his game so he elected to remain silent while Gibbs continued his deductive reasoning.

"That rescue unlocked some long buried demons," Gibbs continued. "You figured out that Tony was being haunted by these memories and you began to panic. You're afraid that he's going to remember…" The team leader stopped in mid stride and turned to face Senior. The elder DiNozzo nervously swallowed as realization dawned upon the man standing before him. "You said earlier that you drugged Tony because you didn't want him to remember. You're afraid he's going to remember his brother and how he died; you're terrified of the truth coming out. Did you drug him after Adam died? Is that why he doesn't remember?"

DiNozzo suddenly found himself being jerked up off the couch and shoved up against the nearest wall. "You son of a bitch! You pumped drugs into your five year old son so that he'd forget the fact that he even had a brother! Didn't you?" Gibbs tightened his grip on Senior's lapels. "Didn't you?" he bellowed.

Senior tried to push past Gibbs but the team leader had him firmly pinned. "Answer me," Gibbs barked.

Gibbs' face was so close that he could feel his breath as he spoke the words dripping with hatred and disgust. Senior believed that his charm could calm the most savage beast, but obviously it had no effect on a furious NCIS agent. "Why can't you see I was trying to protect him? Why can't you see that, Gibbs? He was too young to deal with Adam's death and…"

"So, he has to deal with it now?" Gibbs' harsh tone was dripping with disgust and disbelief. "Tony has no idea what's going on inside of his head! He's having nightmares and flashbacks and he has no idea why. He's calling out for his brother; the brother that _you_ deny ever existed!"

"You don't understand! I had everything to lose!" Senior silently cursed at his inability to keep his thoughts under his control.

Gibbs abruptly released him as he struggled to remain on his feet. "It's always about you, isn't it? Screw the fact that Tony had just lost his brother! Tell me one thing, Mr. DiNozzo, what did your wife have to say about this?"

Senior stood tall and smoothed out the wrinkles of his suit. "That is none of your business."

"I'm making it my business."

"I've told you what you've wanted to know," Senior coolly stated.

"Not really, but you've given me enough to arrest you," Gibbs snapped.

It was Senior's turn to smile. "You're not going to arrest me. What will Tony think?"

"If I were you, I'd be more worried about what he's going to think about a father who has done nothing but lie to him for years."

Gibbs' biting words should have been more of a devastating blow to him, but truthfully, his son was used to his lies. He doubted Tony ever expected him to tell the truth; too many years of broken promises had forced the younger man to doubt his every motive. "I think you'd be surprised about that, Agent Gibbs; Tony knows me all too well."

"And yet he still wants you to be a part of his life."

"I know that you don't believe me, but everything I do is for Tony."

The temperature in the room seemed to fall by several degrees. It wasn't the first time that Senior wished that he were somewhere else; he briefly wondered if Gibbs would ever cross that line of right and wrong. "You're right," Gibbs growled. "I don't believe you."

His arms were roughly pulled behind his back and the cuffs were secured none too gently around his wrists. "You're under arrest," Gibbs declared.

"What are the charges?"

"Assault of a federal officer."

"Assault? I didn't lay a hand on him. We've had plenty of disagreements and I've never…"

"You drugged him without his knowledge and consent; that falls under assault," the team leader informed him.

At one time, Senior knew that he would have been free in less than twenty four hours, but he and his former attorney had parted ways on not so amicable terms. As Gibbs began to read him his rights, he silently cursed his luck; it appeared that the DiNozzo charm had truly lost its appeal and that he was going to have to answer for what he had done. He had very little time to consider his options, but one thing was sure, he wasn't going down without a fight.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Tony's desire to get a couple more hours of rest had once again been interrupted by yet another nightmare. This last time that he had been pulled from his slumber by his dreams, he had been calling for Adam; he now knew that the memories that were trying to resurface had nothing to do with the boy he had rescued the other day. The agent also needed to figure out exactly how his father fit into the puzzle; if his dad had been drugging him as had been suggested by his friends, then his life was about to become even more complicated than it already was. Tony desperately wanted to know the truth, but he didn't seem able to put the pieces together; every time he seemed to be close to an answer, he would wake up screaming.

Fortunately, no one had been around to witness this last episode, but his monitors had betrayed him as they noisily echoed in his room; it would only be a matter of time before a nurse came barging in his room to see what had happened to send his vitals soaring. He struggled to breathe as he forced himself to try and calm down before the nurse entered his room; Tony had to convince her that he was doing better or his plan to escape would hit a road block.

He choked back a cough as his door opened. Tony muttered a curse under his breath as Brad and Ducky entered his room. Their arrival definitely threw a kink in his plans; he knew that he wasn't going to be able to convince either doctor that he was feeling better. The agent coughed once again as Dr. Pitt silenced the alarm. The coughing fit lasted for a few more seconds before he finally was able to catch his breath.

"Take it easy, Tony," Brad soothed as he pulled out his stethoscope. "Let's take a listen and make sure that everything still sounds all right."

Tony nodded his consent, knowing that there wasn't any use to protest. He followed Brad's directions as the doctor instructed him to take several deep breaths. "Could…have warmed…it up," he wheezed, not wanting to admit that the coolness of the stethoscope was welcome against his too warm body.

"Sorry," the physician muttered as he continued to listen to his lungs.

After a few more seconds, Brad stood to his full height and replaced his stethoscope in his pocket; Tony tensed under his friend's scrutiny. "Your lungs are actually sounding a little better," Brad stated. "Looks like the antibiotic is starting to work; you're still running a fever but it's starting to come down as well."

"Great," Tony replied. "So, I can go home?"

"No."

"No?"

"No," Ducky chimed in. "You're still a very sick young man."

He averted his gaze to the kind hearted and well-meaning ME. "Ducky, you know I don't rest well in hospitals; they give me nightmares."

Ducky gently patted his shoulder. "I know, but this time I think that there's something else besides your intense dislike of medical facilities disrupting your slumber."

Tony couldn't dispute Ducky's statement; his dreams were plagued by darkness and a sadness that he couldn't explain. He couldn't seem to grasp what was going on in his mind; Tony felt like he wasn't in control of his thoughts and his emotions. The agent recognized the fact that several long buried memories were trying to claw its way to the surface and he had no idea what those memories were and why they were seemingly haunting every moment of his life.

After his earlier conversation with Ducky and the revelation that his father may have been responsible for drugging him, Tony didn't want to believe him. He knew that his father was manipulative but he still couldn't believe that he would intentionally hurt his own flesh and blood. Tony had always assumed that there was a line that Senior wouldn't dare to cross, but apparently, he was wrong; Senior's sense of self-preservation obviously outweighed his desire to have a relationship with his son.

He scrubbed his face and blew out a long breath. Although he still wanted to believe that his dad was innocent, his gut was telling him something totally different. "I want to go home," he repeated.

"Anthony, you need to rest," the ME reminded him once again. Ducky's cultured voice didn't bare a hint of a reprimand, but of genuine concern for his well-being. The elderly physician's sincerity had always been one of the many things that Tony had admired about Ducky.

"Ducky, I want to talk to my father; if what you were suggesting earlier is true then I need to find out why."

"The answers will come in time."

"Ducky…" Realization dawned upon Tony as he realized that Gibbs wasn't here with him; there wasn't a doubt in his mind where he was, but the investigator in him needed confirmation. "Where's Gibbs?"

He didn't miss the silent exchange between the two doctors and the almost imperceptible nod of Brad's head. Ducky cleared his throat to answer. "He…uh…"

"He's with my dad, isn't he?"

"Tony, I'm sure everything is all right," Ducky tried to assure him.

Gibbs and his father in the same room was simply asking for trouble. If Senior did drug him, then the team leader would be out for blood; he was concerned for both men, knowing that battle of wills that would take place between his dad and Gibbs was not going to end well.

He threw his covers off and struggled to sit up. "I'm out of here."

His attempt at escape was met with resistance as Brad and Ducky gently forced him to lay back. "I want out of here. You can either help me or I'll do it on my own."

"Tony, listen to reason," Dr. Pitt pleaded.

"No! I need to know what's going on!" Another fit of coughing took his breath and brought tears to his eyes as he braced his chest with his arm; he truly despised being sick.

"Easy, Tony," Brad said.

Tony collapsed back against his pillow, muttering a curse under his breath; at this rate, he was never going to get out of the hospital. He welcomed the cool relief provided by Ducky as the doctor wiped his face with a wet cloth. "Listen to me, Tony," the ME gently insisted. "If you'll rest, then I'll call Gibbs for you and find out what's happening. Would that temporarily satisfy your desire to flee the hospital?"

Gibbs. He had to talk to the team leader and at the moment, it looked like Ducky's offer was the best one he was going to get. "Yeah," he managed to reply. "For now." Tony still had every intention of leaving the hospital, but it was apparent that it wasn't going to be today.

Frustration seeped from every fiber of his being; he hated feeling so helpless. It had been drilled into him for years not to show his weakness and now, he was once again at the mercy of others. Even though Ducky and Brad were his friends, it was still difficult to ask for help; it was a flaw that he had struggled with for years and would probably do so for years to come.

Tony closed his eyes as he permitted Ducky to continue his ministrations. He had almost permitted himself to doze off when the sound of a cell phone ringing startled him from his state of semi slumber. The agent watched the elderly ME's every movement when he reached for his phone. "Speak of the devil," Ducky announced. "It's Gibbs."

He listened carefully to the conversation between Ducky and Gibbs; resisting the urge to grab the phone from his friend. After a few seconds, the ME handed him the phone. "Gibbs wants to talk to you."

Taking the phone, he swallowed hard and answered, "Hey, Gibbs; what's going on?"

"Giving your doctor a hard time, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked.

"I want out of here." Tony realized that he probably sounded like a petulant child, but he was too tired to care.

"I know."

Those two words spoke volumes. He knew that Gibbs understood better than anyone his hatred for hospitals; the Marine had stayed by his side during his recovery from the plague and had helped him through the long days and nights of confinement. If it hadn't been for the team leader's constant reassurance during that time of his life, Tony believed that he would have gone stir crazy.

He pinched the bridge of his nose as a sigh escaped his lips. "I need to know what's going on. Ducky and Brad told me that I was drugged; they insinuated that my dad…"

"I want you to stay put until I get there," Gibbs ordered, his tone daring Tony to dispute his instructions.

Tony visibly bristled. Gibbs was obviously holding something back and the younger man felt that whatever it was had to do with his father. "What the hell is going on? Gibbs…"

"Stay there," the older agent repeated.

Before Tony could reply, the line went dead. Resisting the urge to sling the phone across the room, he handed it to Ducky and then raked his hand through his hair. Gibbs had barely let him get a word in and had only left him more questions and with a mandate not to leave. Tony didn't want to wait for answers, he wanted them now. He couldn't believe that he was about to defy one of Gibbs' orders, but too much was at stake—including his sanity. Gathering what strength he could, he threw back the covers again and then met Brad's concerned gaze. "Get my papers, I'm leaving."

"Tony, I can't…"

"_You_ don't have a choice," Tony informed him. "If I want to leave AMA, you can't stop me."

"No, I can't," Brad conceded. "But, at least wait until Gibbs gets here."

"He's right, Anthony. Jethro is on his way and you know how he drives; he'll be here in five minutes," Ducky pointed out. "I'll help you get dressed and by that time, Gibbs will be here and then you two can talk."

He knew that his friends were simply trying to placate him; Tony appreciated their efforts, but their actions only added to his frustration. After a few seconds of contemplation, the agent reluctantly agreed to Ducky's offer. "Fine, but if Gibbs isn't here by the time I'm dressed; I'm walking out of here." He closed his eyes against the spinning room as he fought against the dizziness suddenly plagued him. "Okay," he conceded. "Maybe I won't walk, but I'm leaving one way or another."

"All right," Ducky soothed. "Now, I just have to remember where we put your clothes."

Tony rolled his eyes at the elderly physician. He saw right through Ducky's ruse. The ME knew exactly where his clothes were, but he was not in a hurry to find them and bring them to him. If he could have mustered the energy, he would walk out of the hospital with just his gown on, baring all for the world to see; unfortunately, that would earn him nothing but a head slap and a great deal of embarrassment once he came to his senses. Tony decided that he would simply wait for Ducky to locate his supposedly missing clothes or for Gibbs to arrive, whichever came first. Either way, he was going to get some answers.

**Hope you enjoyed the post. Thank you to my loyal readers; you guys are the greatest. I appreciate your patience and your support; between limited laptop time and planning an Eagle Scout Ceremony, my writing time has been limited. Hope everyone is staying warm! I officially can't wait until summer! **


	13. Chapter 13

_**I want to apologize for the delay. I had a couple of minor health issues that I had to deal with but I am doing fine now. Hopefully, things will be back to semi-normal now. **__**J**__** Anyway, I do hope you enjoy the post and I do hope that my absence hasn't caused too much of an inconvenience to my readers. I appreciate the support and encouragement. Now, for your reading pleasure…**_

**Part 13**

Gibbs wheeled into Brad's parking space, thankful that the doctor had a space close to the hospital entrance. He had pushed the car to its limits in an effort to make it back to the hospital before Tony walked out; however, the vehicle wasn't any worse for wear and he had managed to return it in one piece. After his brief conversation with DiNozzo, he realized that he didn't have time to waste if he were going to stop the younger man from leaving against his doctor's advice; once Tony had his mind set on something, it was nearly impossible to dissuade him.

He couldn't blame Tony for being upset; his senior field agent was in a world of hurt and he didn't understand why. Unfortunately, it was up to him to try and reason with DiNozzo; a task that was going to be a challenge. Gibbs had no idea where to begin as he attempted to figure out how to explain to Tony that his father had been keeping a secret from him for years and that particular secret would not only explain the flashbacks he'd been experiencing, but would more than likely force him to remember a part of his life that he had unwittingly buried. The team leader was also going to have to inform DiNozzo that Senior had drugged him in order to keep those resurfacing memories hidden; sometimes it seemed like Tony could never catch a break, especially where his father was concerned.

Deciding not to wait for the elevator, Gibbs took the stairwell and in less than a minute, he was walking down the corridor towards Tony's room. He met Ducky and Brad, who were standing just outside DiNozzo's door. Not bothering with any pleasantries, Gibbs asked, "Is he still here?"

"Yes," Ducky replied. "He's chomping at the bit to leave, but I've seemed to misplace his clothes."

Amused at the ME's deception, he patted Ducky on the shoulder and instructed him to keep looking. Gibbs hoped that he would be able to convince Tony that he needed to stay in the hospital. DiNozzo had always had difficulty acknowledging his limitations, especially when it came to being sick; of course, Gibbs completely understood that aspect of his agent's personality because he was of the same mindset that if you ignored the illness, it would simply go away. Persuading DiNozzo wasn't going to be easy, but he had to try; if Tony still refused to stay, then Gibbs was more than prepared to handle that as well.

He entered Tony's room and found the ailing man sitting on the bed, his arms wrapped around his frame as he struggled against the sporadic tremors that plagued him. Gibbs walked over to the bed and gently grabbed DiNozzo by the shoulders and urged him to lie back down. The fact that Tony didn't offer a protest was evidence enough that he was too sick to even contemplate leaving the hospital yet.

"What do ya think you're doin', DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked as he covered DiNozzo with a blanket, tucking it around his shoulders.

"Waiting on you, Boss," Tony replied, his voice barely audible.

"Well, I'm here."

"Yeah."

Tony's next words were interrupted by another coughing fit, forcing Gibbs to patiently wait him out. When DiNozzo was finished, the team leader poured a cup of water and supported Tony as he thirstily drank. After the younger agent was through drinking, Gibbs set the cup down and lowered him back against his pillow. "You really think you're ready to leave the hospital?" the older man inquired.

"I'll be…fine. Can't rest here," Tony pointed out.

The reason DiNozzo couldn't rest had nothing to do with the hospital or the care he was receiving, but everything to do with the memories that seemed destined to haunt him and the knowledge that his father was at least partially responsible for his current predicament. Gibbs' intense dislike for Tony's dad had now given way to hatred; once again, Senior had made a mess and now the team leader was going to have to pick up the pieces. However, this time there would be no second chances; DiNozzo's father had thrown away the opportunity to be a father and Gibbs was more than willing to step into that role, just like he had been doing for the past ten years.

"So, you gonna tell me what's going on?" DiNozzo wanted to know.

Tony's directness was one of the first things that he had come to appreciate about the former detective. DiNozzo expected honesty, especially from the team leader; Gibbs wanted to protect Tony from the truth about his father, but the Marine wasn't about to risk the trust between them in order to spare his friend the pain that this news would cause. It was going to be difficult, but Tony could handle it; Gibbs would make sure of that.

He pulled up a chair and sat down. "Yep. You sure you're up to this?"

"Doesn't matter if I…am or not; I need to know what's going on."

"Yes you do," the older man agreed. "You _deserve_ to know what's going on."

"So?" Tony wheezed.

"I'm not sure where to start," Gibbs admitted. He wasn't trying stall; he didn't know how he was supposed to tell Tony what he had discovered. The agent had no idea how DiNozzo was going to react, but he couldn't let that deter him from providing his friend with the answers that he so desperately craved.

"The beginning is always a good place.

"Good thing you're sick," Gibbs said, resisting the urge to head slap his sick friend; however, it was good that Tony still had his sense of humor.

Tony tiredly grinned. "You can owe me that one later."

"I'll definitely collect."

"I'm sure you will, Boss. I'm sure you will."

Gibbs took the next few seconds to gather his thoughts as Tony patiently waited for him to begin. He had come to the conclusion that he would see what DiNozzo remembered; hopefully that would give him time to figure out how he was going to tell Tony about Adam.

"There isn't any easy way to say this, so I'm just going to say it," Gibbs reluctantly began. "Your dad…"

"Drugged me," Tony finished. "I know. What I don't understand is…why."

"I'm not completely sure I understand his reasoning either; your father is a complicated man."

Tony's grin didn't reach his eyes; the usually expressive orbs were clouded by dark circles which spoke volumes of the exhaustion and illness plaguing the younger man. "Tell me something I don't know."

"I guess you'd know better than anyone."

"Yeah. I could tell you some stories, but you know most of them already."

The team leader did know a great deal about Tony and his father, but DiNozzo had always held onto the hope that his dad would change. It was now obvious that Senior was never going to change, even to save his relationship with his son.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, silently contemplating his next words. "Tony, do you remember that boy you saved the other day?"

The young agent nodded. "I think his name was Adam," Tony recalled. A look of sheer panic danced upon his pale features as he struggled to sit up. "Is he all right?"

"He's fine, Tony; safe and sound thanks to you."

Gibbs was concerned by the fact that Tony didn't remember that the young boy he had rescued was all right; he wondered if that particular memory lapse was from being sick or if Tony had started to block the incident, much like the accident involving his brother. The similarities between the events were mere coincidences, but the near recent tragedy had served as a catalyst to awaken memories that Tony had unknowingly buried.

"That's good," Tony replied as he settled back down against his pillow. "The last few days are kind of fuzzy, between being sick and my father drugging…"

The team leader gave Tony's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. He dreaded where this conversation was headed; there was no easy way to say the things that had to be said, but like he had told DiNozzo, the young man deserved to know the truth. "Tony," Gibbs reluctantly began. "After you rescued Adam, you started having flashbacks; do you remember any of that?"

Tony shook his head. "Not really; I remember…I'm not sure what I remember," he admitted.

"That's not surprising." Although Tony didn't remember, Gibbs could vividly recall his friend crying out for someone to help him; the memories of the past had tortured DiNozzo endlessly and the Marine wanted nothing more than to put an end to the confusion that had recently consumed the young agent's life.

"Gibbs, you've never been one to beat around the bush," Tony pointed out. "Just tell me straight up what's been going on."

He and DiNozzo were too much alike; something that Ducky enjoyed reminding him of almost on a daily basis. Neither one of them was much for sugar coating the truth; their ability to be completely honest with each other had forged a special bond between them and it was something that they didn't take forgranted.

"All right," Gibbs conceded. "The flashbacks that you're experiencing have to do with something that happened when you were a child. The rescue the other day has simply forced those memories to the forefront." He watched Tony for a reaction, but much to his credit, DiNozzo remained focused on his every word. "When you were a kid, you had…you had a brother and his name was Adam."

Tony defiantly shook his head. "A brother? Gibbs, I've never had a brother; I think I would remember having a brother." As an afterthought, DiNozzo met the team leader's steely gaze and asked, "Wouldn't I?"

"That's where your father comes in to play."

"I'm not sure I understand."

A string of expletives directed at Tony's father ran through his mind, but he refrained from letting them escape his lips. He despised Senior for what he had done to his own son and for destroying that special bond that should exist between a father and a son. Gibbs cleared his throat as he mentally braced himself to tell the rest of the story and hoped that Tony was prepared to hear it.

"You had a brother and his name was Adam. The two of you were with your mom on a pier and while…while she was talking to someone, Adam fell in the water. You jumped in to save him but it was too late; you couldn't find him and nearly drowned yourself before you were pulled out of the water."

"He died?"

Tony's voice almost sounded like a lost child and it tore at Gibbs' heart. "Yeah," he answered. "Your dad sent you and your mom home while he took care of things."

"Took care of things? What do you mean by that?" Tony wanted to know.

Gibbs took a deep breath and released it. This was more difficult than he ever thought possible. "According to your dad, he didn't want you plagued by the trauma, so he put you under a doctor's care and basically pumped you full of drugs until you couldn't remember. After you rescued that little boy the other day, you had a flashback and your dad started worrying that you were going to remember; he drugged your juice, but you had too much at one time and that's how you ended up in the hospital. He confessed to everything and that's why I placed him under arrest. I've also got a warrant issued for Dr. Phillip Mabe and I'm sure he'll fill in more of the puzzle once we have him in custody."

He couldn't begin to imagine the emotional upheaval that his friend was experiencing. "I remember Dr. Mabe...he was always around when I was little," Tony quietly remembered, his raspy voice betraying the stress that was weighing him down. "Dad…he said it was because I was always so sick; me and my mom were always sick. She was always so sad and…sometimes I felt like she didn't like me, but Senior just said it was her depression. Guess I'd be depressed too if my child was dead."

"Tony, I…"

The team leader wasn't sure what to say. He wanted to offer some kind of reasoning for what had happened, but there was nothing to justify Senior's actions and the resulting consequences. In the last five minutes, Tony had learned that he hadn't been an only child and that his brother had died; Gibbs knew DiNozzo well enough to know that the younger man would blame himself for not being able to save Adam and would have to carry that burden around for the rest of his life.

For the first time, Gibbs was questioning his decision in telling Tony the truth. He quickly brushed that thought aside; as painful as it was, he knew that his senior field agent wanted the truth. There were some details he had left out, but those details shouldn't come from him, but from Senior; of course, if Tony's father was too much of a coward to face his son, then Gibbs would be ready to fill in the blanks.

"Why?" Tony finally managed to ask. "What was he thinking? Was he trying to protect someone? Certainly not me."

Gibbs shrugged. Tony desperately wanted a logical reason as to his father's motivation and unfortunately, he couldn't provide him one. "I don't know."

"I guess he was looking out after himself."

The ailing agent raked his hand through his hair and then threw his arm over his eyes. Gibbs knew that Tony was more than likely going to try and close himself off; he had a tendency to isolate himself whenever he was trying to sort out his problems as if he were ashamed to ask for help. Hiding behind an impassive mask was something that he had been taught to do from a young age and it was something that DiNozzo did very well; Gibbs knew that he couldn't let Tony deal with this alone.

"Tony, I'm sorry."

DiNozzo shook his head. "For what? You didn't do anything." His voice was barely above a whisper. Tony met Gibbs' concerned gaze. "I still can't believe that I had a brother. I can't even remember him! Why couldn't I save him? How could my dad hide this from me all these years?"

"I wish I knew."

"Come on, Gibbs; you always have the answers."

DiNozzo was right. Gibbs wanted nothing more than to provide Tony with the answers that he desperately sought, but he also knew that nothing he could say at the moment would help. "I wish I did."

"So, my dad is in custody?"

"Yeah."

"I'm booking him on assault of a federal officer, unless you want me to drop the charges." Gibbs wasn't sure what Tony would do; he wasn't even sure what he would do if their positions were reversed.

Tony shook his head; his stoic expression making it difficult for Gibbs to read. He wished that DiNozzo would quit hiding behind that damned mask; he wanted to be able to tell what Tony was thinking, but at the moment, the agent was reluctant to let anyone see behind that wall he put up around his heart. "What do you think I should do?"

"I can't answer that, Tony. What do you think _you_ should do?" Gibbs asked.

"I don't know, but I think Senior should face the consequences for what he's done," Tony stated. Gibbs had to admit that he was surprised; he had expected Tony to look the other way and once again figure a way to shoulder the blame for his father's actions. Senior had clearly crossed the line and it was obvious that Tony was not going to forgive his father so easily this time.

"He will, Tony; I promise you that he will."

"I don't understand…" Tony swallowed hard.

"What don't you understand?" Gibbs pressed.

Tony closed his eyes and the team leader knew that he was taking time to process everything and gather his thoughts. Gibbs patiently waited for Tony to continue when he was ready; he knew when his friend needed space and was more than willing to give him what he needed. After a few seconds, DiNozzo opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling; Gibbs could almost see the Tony's thoughts racing in his mind.

"I don't understand why I can't have a normal father; you know, one that doesn't lie to me and doesn't hide the fact that I had a brother. Thanks to him, I have no memory of someone that…" Another coughing fit briefly interrupted the tirade; Tony was worn out both physically and mentally and Gibbs wasn't sure that there was any relief in sight.

"Sorry," Tony apologized after he managed to catch his breath.

"It's all right; just take it easy."

He helped Tony lay back and pulled up the covers around the trembling form. "Gibbs, I need to know about my brother and the only one who can tell me about him is my fa…Senior. I'm going to have to talk to him sometime."

"Probably so, but not until you're ready."

"I still can't…believe…"

Gibbs could tell that Tony was struggling to breathe. He pushed the call button for the nurse as he cupped the young man's face with a calloused hand. "DiNozzo, listen to me; I need you to try and slow your breathing," he instructed. "You've got to relax.

Thankfully, the nurse came in and within just a few seconds had placed Tony on oxygen; Gibbs nodded his thanks as he once again took his place by DiNozzo's side. "Rest and we'll talk some more later," he vowed.

Tony nodded and closed his eyes, wiping away a tear that was streaking down his cheek. Damn Senior for doing this to his son; it was a good thing that Tony's dad was in custody because Gibbs couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't inflict great bodily harm on the man if he were closeby. He waited patiently until Tony had drifted off to sleep and then quietly rose and stepped outside DiNozzo's room. Pulling out his phone, he dialed the number of someone who could hopefully help the man who was like a son to him.

"Hey, Doc," he greeted. "I need you to come back to the hospital…"


	14. Chapter 14

**Back from the beach with a new chapter! Thanks to AZGirl for the beta! Thank you for your continued support and I hope you enjoy the post!**

**Part 14 **

Dr. Rachel Cranston exited the elevator with two cups of coffee; judging by the call she had received a little while ago, she was going to need it and Gibbs could definitely use it. The team leader had informed her of everything that had transpired with Tony's father and the discussion that he had just had with DiNozzo. She couldn't begin to imagine the emotional upheaval and turmoil that Tony had to be experiencing. He probably doubted everything that he ever knew and more than likely was dealing with a lot of misplaced guilt; she was going to have her work cut out for her convincing him that he had done nothing wrong.

She saw Gibbs approaching her and the doctor immediately noticed the fatigue emanating from the team leader; it was obvious that the past couple of hours had taken a toll on him. Rachel handed him one of the cups of coffee she was carrying. "You look like you could use this," she said. "Extra strong."

"Thanks," Gibbs answered. He took a sip of the steaming brew and motioned her to follow him into a small waiting area.

"How's he doing?" she wanted to know. Rachel was truly concerned not only for her patient, but for someone who she considered a friend. Whenever she and Kate had talked, Very Special Agent Tony DiNozzo was always one of the main topics of conversation. Even though Tony constantly infuriated her sister, Rachel knew that Kate had cared for him deeply, perhaps more than she had wanted to admit. Perhaps one day, she would get the courage to tell DiNozzo exactly how her sister had felt about him; then again, sometimes things are better left unsaid.

Rachel silently chided herself for allowing her focus to wander. She was a doctor and she had a patient who needed her; Tony couldn't afford for her to be dwelling in the past. Clearing her throat, she addressed the team leader, who seemed preoccupied with his own thoughts. "Are you going to answer my question?" she asked. "How's Tony doing?"

Gibbs shrugged. "He's upset. Pissed. Hurt. I guess that about sums it up."

"He's got every right to be," she pointed out.

"Yeah," the Marine agreed. "All that on top of being sick, let's just say he's had a hell of a day."

"How did he handle the news about his father?"

"About as well as could be expected."

One of the things that thoroughly irritated her about Gibbs was the fact that getting an answer from the tight lipped agent was like pulling teeth without any Novocain; it was a long and tedious process and usually painful. "And what exactly does that mean?"

"It means that he's doing okay for someone whose life has been turned upside down because his bastard of a father wanted to save face."

Gibbs' anger with Tony's father was apparent. She knew that there was an unusual bond between Gibbs and Tony that had been established between them years ago and it was one that would not easily be broken. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that given the opportunity, Gibbs would make sure that Senior suffered for what he had done to his son. She was beginning to wonder if the team leader called her because Tony needed her or if he was the one needing to vent. "Have you formally charged his father?"

"I'm getting ready to; Tony's going to press charges."

"Good for him." She was surprised by the vindictiveness in which she uttered her response; as a psychiatrist, Rachel knew she was to remain neutral, but when it came to Tony, it was hard to separate the professional from the friend. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"Why not?" Gibbs challenged, a hint of a smirk dancing on his lips. "Afraid it'll make you seem more human?"

Rachel returned his smile. "Maybe," she taunted. "As you know, we shrinks _are_ from another planet; at least that's what Tony says."

"I think he's right."

"I bring you coffee and this is what I get?" Rachel appreciated the light moment between them. The past couple of days had been very stressful for everyone involved; it was nice to see that his dry sense of humor hadn't completely dissipated.

"Just be thankful that you only have to deal with us one at a time; it took Kate almost two years to figure out…"

The team leader's sudden silence seemed to quell the brief moment of levity. A brief hint of sadness flickered across his normally stoic features as Gibbs finally said, "I didn't mean to bring her up."

The physician shook her head. "I don't mind, Gibbs. Kate was my sister, but she was part of your family as well. It's all right to talk about her." Even after all these years, it was obvious that her sister's death haunted the older man; she mentally filed this observation in the back of her mind to address another day.

"I'll uh…I'll go and see if DiNozzo is awake," Gibbs stated, clearly wanting to avoid a deeper conversation with her.

"Okay. I'll wait here."

Finishing the last of her coffee, she threw the cup in the trash can as a familiar face entered the waiting room. Rachel smiled and greeted the handsome doctor as he glanced around the room. "Hello again, Dr. Pitt."

The dark haired man extended his hand. "Ka…I mean Dr. Cranston; it's good to see you again. I uh…didn't mean to…"

"It's quite all right," she assured him. "I consider it a compliment."

"That's good. Your sister was quite a lady."

"Yes, she was."

It was evident that Dr. Pitt was uncertain as to what to say next, so Rachel obligingly redirected the conversation to avoid any further awkwardness. "So, what are you doing here so late?"

"I was actually looking for Agent Gibbs; one of the nurses said she thought he came in here."

Rachel nodded. "He did, but you just missed him. He was going to see if Tony was awake. Is everything all right?" Technically, Tony was her patient too; it was no secret that any physical problems could affect his mental well-being.

"Yeah. I just wanted to talk to him about a couple of things."

She knew that Gibbs was listed as his next of kin and therefore had the sole privilege of receiving any information about Tony; Rachel just hoped that the Marine would be willing to share with her anything that could be pertinent to the younger man's mental and emotional health. "Oh, well; I guess you can chase him down or wait for him here."

"I can wait a few minutes."

The psychiatrist watched with interest as Dr. Pitt purchased a drink out of the vending machine. "I need some caffeine," he explained.

"I know what you mean," she agreed. "It's been a trying few days."

"You can say that again."

"Tony has a way of keeping me on my toes." Dr. Pitt opened his can of soda and took a long drink before addressing her again. "When I first met you, I knew who you were without even knowing your name. You should be proud of your sister; she was a courageous woman. I really liked her and…I also wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for your loss.

"Thank you. She spoke very highly of you as well."

A hint of crimson dotted the doctor's cheeks. "That's nice to know; like I said, she was an incredible woman and she cared for Tony a lot. Maybe more than either one of them realized."

Rachel couldn't help but laugh. "I think you're right. I just wish that she taken the opportunity to let him know how much she cared."

Before Brad could reply, Gibbs walked into the room, unknowingly interrupting their conversation. "He's awake," the agent announced. "Actually, I'm not sure that he's even been asleep."

"So, does he want to see me?" she inquired, wanting to make sure that Tony was ready to face her. One thing that she had learned about the young man over the past year was that he wouldn't talk unless he was ready; if Tony felt pressured, he would shut down emotionally and hide behind the mask that he so cleverly wore.

"Yeah, you can go on in. He seemed kind of relieved that you're here."

Rachel nodded and headed towards Tony's room, leaving Gibbs and Brad behind. Pushing all other thoughts aside, she focused on the task at hand; Tony was at his breaking point and she knew she had to tread carefully so that he wouldn't go over the edge. If DiNozzo wanted to talk about everything that had happened with his brother and his father, then she was ready to listen; if he chose to ramble on for hours, then she would wait patiently and listen for those underlying clues that would illuminate the path that she needed to take in order to help her friend.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Gibbs watched Rachel leave the room, hoping against all hope that she would know how to help Tony, because at the moment, he was helpless. His rage was perched on a precarious cliff, ready to take flight at any moment and the team leader was trying to tether his anger so that he could unleash his wrath on the man who truly deserved it. Blowing out a long breath, he met Dr. Pitt's concerned gaze; the physician was eyeing him suspiciously, as if he were waiting on 'Old Faithful' to blow. "Something wrong, Doc?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing," Brad calmly answered.

"Just worried."

"That admission didn't come easy for you."

The team leader silently agreed with the doctor's observation. He was not one to openly express his feelings, but this whole situation with DiNozzo had unnerved him; his emotions were on edge and he wasn't sure how he was supposed to help Tony deal with the living nightmare that was consuming him. "The circumstances warrant it."

"I guess they do," the doctor conceded. "However, I was actually looking for you; I've got a little good news."

"Sure could use some."

"The antibiotics are starting to kick in and his X-rays are looking a little better."

"But, he was having a hard time breathing just a little while ago," Gibbs reminded the doctor.

"I know, but he was pretty worked up; that's going to affect his rate of recovery." Brad pulled out a chair and sat down, gesturing for Gibbs to do the same. "We both know that the last time Tony was in the hospital, he was so stressed out, it interfered with his recovery; when I finally released him, he started getting better."

Gibbs vividly remembered taking Tony to his house after his bout with the plague; DiNozzo was able to relax and in turn, he began to recover and was back at his own place within a week. "So, are you ready to kick him out?"

Brad nodded. "Depending on how things go tonight and tomorrow, I may turn him over to your capable hands for the rest of his recuperation. Plus, I have a feeling that some of the things he's going through can be dealt with better out of the hospital," the physician pointed out.

"You're probably right. Anything I can do?"

"Yeah, you can try and get him to cough and to eat. He's not going to like either one, but that's what it's going to take."

"I'm on it."

Brad stood up and grabbed his can of soda. "I don't doubt it. I'm heading home and I suggest you do the same. I've got a sedative ordered for him if he needs it; it'll knock him out for quite a while. It's the same thing I gave him the last time he was here."

"I'll see how he's doing after he's done talking with Rachel. I actually have a few things to do before I go home." Gibbs still needed to make sure that Senior was charged and processed; he wanted Tony's father to know that this time he had gone too far and that he was going to have to pay the consequences of his actions. It was probably the first time in Senior's life that he was going to be held accountable for anything and Gibbs believed that Tony and his brother Adam deserved some justice.

"Well, make sure you take care of yourself; Tony's going to need you," Brad reminded him.

Gibbs knew that the doctor was right, but he also had an obligation to DiNozzo and he was going to make sure that Senior would not be able to do any further damage to his son. "I know; I'll be fine," he assured the physician.

Thankfully, Brad didn't try and argue with him; instead, the doctor bid farewell with a promise to check on Tony first thing in the morning. Gibbs was finally alone and he decided to allow himself to savor a few moments of solitude before he went back to see how Tony was doing. He wanted to give Rachel time to get some insight into how Tony was coping with all that he had recently learned.

The team leader knew all too well that given time, Tony would find a way to blame himself for everything that had happened in the past. Senior had instilled a tremendous guilt complex in his son and he willingly took the blame whenever things went wrong. He was aware of the fact that even after all these years, Tony still was haunted by the deaths of Kate, Paula, and Jenny, as well as harboring regrets regarding his failed relationships with Jeanne and EJ.

These memories, coupled with the guilt that DiNozzo had always felt about his mother's death, had forced Tony to hide behind a frat-boy smile while burying his feelings of guilt and remorse. Unfortunately, Pandora's Box had been opened by the newly discovered truth about Tony's younger brother, causing the younger agent to reach his breaking point. Gibbs hoped that Tony would grab onto the lifeline that he and his friends were trying to throw to him. DiNozzo had a habit of trying to deal with his problems alone, but this was too big, and Tony needed help before he was pulled under into his own watery grave of despair.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Tony tiredly smiled at Rachel as she entered his room. Even though she was a shrink, he was comfortable around her; he figured it had more to do with her being Kate's sister than her credentials. Like Kate, she could see through him and wasn't afraid to call him on his avoidance tactics or his ability to hide behind a smile; he had never been able to fool Kate and most of the time, he couldn't fool Rachel either. He had spent his life eating shrinks for breakfast; Tony knew exactly what they wanted to hear and did his best to give him what they wanted. He was loathed to admit it, but this gift he had inherited was a small way in which he was just like Senior. Shuddering at the thought, Tony considered that maybe he needed to become more open in dealing with people; he could let them see the real Tony DiNozzo and come to appreciate the man that he really was and so he wouldn't have to compare himself to his father.

"I hope you don't mind me dropping by," Rachel said as she took the seat beside his bed.

Tony shook his head as he stifled a cough. "No. Gibbs said you were here…although probably not on your own accord. I had a feeling he would call you."

"He did, but only because he's worried about you."

"I'm fine."

"Still using that line? Anytime you say 'I'm fine', you're usually not. It didn't take me too long to figure that out," she teased.

The agent shrugged. "Just a habit, I guess. Want me to give it another try?"

"Sure."

Tony cleared his throat. "I know he's worried. He's getting grumpier. Of course, that could be because he hasn't had a decent cup of coffee today or…"

"Or it could be that he's just concerned."

"That too," Tony grinned. He braced his chest with his arm, coughing into his shoulder. "Sorry," he apologized between coughs.

He felt something soft brushing against his lips. He cracked his eyes to see Rachel standing over him with a couple of tissues in hand. "Spit," she ordered. "You need to get that stuff up and out of your lungs."

The dark haired agent did as he was told and then permitted Rachel to fluff his pillow and help him lay back. "Thanks," he whispered, relieved that his latest coughing spell was over.

"Any time."

He closed his eyes for a few seconds before attempting to blow out a slow breath. Tony then met her gaze, lines of worry dancing upon her beautiful features. She was concerned for him and he despised himself for causing her any trouble; he didn't deserve her fretting over him. He momentarily flashed back to the time he was in the hospital with the plague. Kate had stayed with him and hovered over him like a mother hen and her kindness was something that he had never forgotten.

_***flashback***_

_He welcomed the cool washcloth gently caressing his cheek and finally coming to rest on his forehead. The fever that had been plaguing him for the past couple of days was still lingering despite the antibiotics being pumped into his body. The last X-rays that had been taken had confirmed that his lungs were starting to clear up, but the damage had been done; he was going to have be careful for the rest of his life when it came to respiratory problems, but at least he was alive. _

"_Can I get you anything else?" _

_Tony shook his head, still lacking the energy to engage in any lengthy conversations. "I'm good," he wheezed. "Thanks, Kate." _

_His partner of nearly two years smiled at him as she took his hand. Kate had barely left his side; she and Gibbs had taken turns staying by his side ever since he had been removed from isolation. The team leader's silent presence had been comforting in its own unique way, but he also appreciated Kate's nurturing nature; it was something that he had had missed when he was a child and he privately welcomed her gentle touch. _

"_Any time," she softly replied. _

_Tony grinned at his friend. "Really? I should be out…of here…in a few days. Probably need help with some…things like a…bath." So much for keeping his words at a minimum. _

"_Even when you're sick, your mind is in the gutter," she chastised. _

"_Have a reputation…to…" A coughing fit took his breath, preventing from delivering his comeback. Kate helped him sit up and encouraged him to spit into the hand held basin she had grabbed. Spent, he collapsed back against the pillow. "Sorry about that."_

_She reached up and brushed his hair back out of his face. "We'll continue this conversation later," Kate promised. "Right now, you need to rest."_

_He closed his eyes as Kate continued to stroke his hair and quietly assure him that he was going to be all right. Tony hoped that he remembered to thank her properly for everything she had done for him; it was nice to have someone actually care. Maybe after things got back to normal, they could actually talk about a few other things as well…_

_***end flashback***_

Tony forced himself back to the present, pushing aside the memories of the past. "Could I have some water?" he asked, hoping that Rachel hadn't noticed his momentary lapse. He truly needed to remain in control of his emotions at the moment; the last thing he wanted to do right now was to have a therapy session because he wasn't ready to talk about everything that had happened just yet.

"Sure," Rachel said, pouring him a cup of water and then placing the straw on his lips.

He thirstily drank, the coolness easing his aching throat. Tony nodded when he was through and gave Rachel a tiny smile. "Thanks, again."

"No problem."

The doctor sat back down and Tony knew that she was waiting for him to make the next move. He didn't want Rachel to waste her time, but he wouldn't be able to talk until he had processed everything; it was going to take some time for him to come to terms with everything that had happened. "I know I need to talk…but I'm not ready. I can't wrap my head around this right now. I need to talk to my dad first. I need to know…why he..." Tony pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a moment to make sure he had a firm grasp on his emotions. "I just need to why he did what he did."

Thankfully, Rachel didn't push him. "You don't have to talk yet. You've been through a lot; I know that you like taking time to mull things over and that's okay. I'm just here for moral support," she assured him.

"Liar," he teased.

"All right," she conceded. "Gibbs thought you might want to talk, but we both know that you won't talk until you're ready; I'm okay with that and Gibbs will be too. We can talk about anything you want to talk about, or you don't have to say a thing."

"Sounds like a plan." Tony closed his eyes, exhaustion consuming every fiber; perhaps, his mind and body would finally allow him to rest. The next few days were going to be difficult, not just physically, but emotionally as well. He felt Rachel give his hand a gentle squeeze as he began to drift off. "Hey, Doc?" he mumbled.

"Yes?"

"How about another…story about Kate?" He had truly enjoyed getting to know his former partner even more through Rachel; it had given him a whole new appreciation of the woman she had become. Tony felt closer to her, and it helped him to not miss her as much; as long as he had memories, both old and new, she would always be with him. "I love hearing those, especially about…when she was in Catholic school…"


	15. Chapter 15

**A special thanks to my awesome beta, AZGirl! Any remaining mistakes, etc are mine. Thank you all so much for your continued support for this story and for me. I'm so blessed to have such loyal readers; I can't thank you all enough! Hope you enjoy this post!**

**Part 15**

Gibbs wanted nothing more than to go home and go to sleep. The last few days had left him exhausted both physically and emotionally; every fiber of his body and soul screamed for relief, but he couldn't rest until he had taken care of a few loose ends. The team leader wanted to make sure that everything was in order to press charges against Tony's father; Senior was not going to weasel his way out due to some oversight or technicality. Gibbs hoped that he could help provide Tony _and_ his brother with the justice and the closure that they deserved.

His thoughts lingered on his senior field agent. Tony had finally drifted off to sleep while talking with Rachel. She had insisted on staying with DiNozzo, promising to catch a quick cat nap while Tony was sleeping. Even though the younger man had yet to talk about his father or brother, Rachel had wanted to stay nearby just in case he changed his mind. The doctor had told him that Tony had a lot of misplaced guilt that would have to be dealt with, but Rachel also knew that she couldn't push him to talk or he would simply shut down.

He didn't have any qualms about leaving Dr. Cranston with Tony; it would allow him time to formally charge Senior and then hopefully clean up and catch a few hours of sleep before going back to the hospital. If Brad was going to release DiNozzo in a couple of days, he was going to have to be at the top of his game. Tony wasn't the best patient, especially when he was starting to feel better; the dark-haired agent seemed to try and push his physical limits because he was worried about appearing weak. Gibbs didn't expect this time to be any different.

He turned into the nearly deserted parking garage and pulled into a parking space. Gibbs headed towards the elevator and punched the button that would take him to the bullpen. The team leader didn't expect anyone to be there, but he wouldn't be surprised if his team was there; despite their more than occasional lack of respect for Tony and often insensitive comments, they didn't enjoy seeing him hurt, physically or emotionally. Maybe this situation would allow them to catch a glimpse of the man behind the mask. DiNozzo only permitted them to see what he wanted them see, so even after all these years, the other members of his team had no idea the depth of integrity that Tony possessed.

As he exited the elevator, his attention was drawn to the familiar area that housed his team. A hint of smile danced on his lips when he saw Ziva and McGee sound asleep at their desks. The sound of Ziva's snoring echoed in the bullpen. The Marine remembered Tony vividly describing the young woman's sleeping habits and how he had lost hours of precious sleep when they had been undercover as married assassins. He wasn't sure if it was the snoring that bothered DiNozzo or the fact that she slept with a gun under her pillow.

Gibbs quietly sat down at his desk and began reviewing the reports that Ziva and McGee had left for him. The information that the two agents had gathered on Senior was detailed, but there wasn't any mention of Adam. Tony's father had obviously gone to great lengths to cover up his son's death; details regarding the death of DiNozzo's mother were also very sketchy, which only served to exacerbate the frustration and anger that he was harboring.

Disgusted, he sighed and threw the file back on his desk. "Is there a problem, Gibbs?"

Silently chastising himself for momentarily letting his guard down, he looked up to see Ziva standing over him. Gibbs couldn't be sure how long she had been standing there, but one thing was for sure; his fatigue was definitely dulling his senses. Maybe he should have gone home first.

"No," he replied tiredly. "Just looking over these reports."

"There are some holes that we cannot fill in just yet," Ziva explained. She gestured towards McGee, who was still sleeping. "We were going to start again later this morning; we thought a little sleep would help give us a fresh perspective."

"That's probably a good idea," Gibbs agreed. "Thinking about doing the same myself."

"You are not going back to the hospital?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Later. I've got to get some sleep myself. Besides, he's in good hands. Dr. Cranston is with him."

He noticed Ziva visibly bristle at the mention of Rachel's name. He wasn't sure why she had that particular reaction, but at the moment, he was too tired to care. Quickly schooling her features, Ziva said, "I agree. You will be of no use to Tony if you run yourself into the dirt."

"Ground," the team leader automatically corrected. He closed the file and stood to his feet. "Where's Mr. DiNozzo now?"

She nervously glanced back at McGee who was just now registering the fact that Gibbs was in the bullpen. "He is in a holding cell, waiting for his lawyer to arrive."

"So he lawyered up, huh?"

"Yes," she confirmed with a nod. Mr. DiNozzo seems to think that his lawyer is talking with the judge and that is why he is not here yet."

"What about his friend, the doc?" he asked, figuring that perhaps Senior's personal physician would be willing to roll over on the elder DiNozzo; with Dr. Mabe's testimony, there wasn't a doubt that Tony's father would be convicted.

"We have a warrant, but we have been unable to locate him."

Gibbs' eyes narrowed as he waited for a plausible explanation from his team. He wasn't pleased to learn that Dr. Mabe had yet to be found, but managed to quickly his anger and frustration. His two remaining team members had been working nonstop while he had been helping Tony, so he figured that they deserved a break. However, if the doctor wasn't in custody within the next six hours, then they would definitely incur his wrath. "Then I suggest you keep looking," he snapped, his tone harsher than he had intended.

Before Ziva could offer a response, she was joined by McGee, who began to apologize profusely. "I'm sorry, Boss," the young man said. "I was just…"

"Go home and get some real sleep. Tomorrow morning, you make finding Dr. Mabe your priority," he repeated for the benefit of the young man. "I'm going to go and talk to DiNozzo's father."

"It's kind of late, isn't it, Boss?" McGee asked.

"Nope."

Ignoring the confused stares of the other two agents, he headed towards the holding cells. A lot of questions still needed answers; above all else he wanted to know why Senior was willing to throw away the love and respect of his son to simply save face. Gibbs wondered if Tony's father had any idea what he had sacrificed due to his selfish actions; one thing was for certain, the Marine wanted to remind the older man what he had managed to destroy.

Walking into the holding area, he nodded to the agent currently posted outside Senior's cell, silently dismissing his colleague while he spoke with Mr. DiNozzo. Sometimes his reputation of being a bastard worked to his advantage, especially when it came to dealing with the younger agents. He opened the door and walked into the sparsely furnished room; Senior sat up on his cot and stared at Gibbs with disdain.

"I'm waiting on my attorney," Senior informed him. "So, I don't have anything to say to you."

"Good," Gibbs tersely answered. "Then you can just listen."

"I don't think so; I don't have to listen…"

"Oh, but you do," he countered. "Go ahead and lawyer up; you're gonna definitely need one."

Gibbs wanted nothing more than to wipe that irritating grin off of Senior's face. The man's arrogance was beyond anything that he had ever witnessed; Tony's dad believed that he was untouchable, but Gibbs was prepared to disprove that particular belief. "Gibbs, you probably shouldn't even be here," Senior pointed out.

"Probably not. I'm here to formally charge you so that your lawyer will know how to best defend you."

He saw a hint of panic in his eyes, but the man managed to quickly school his features. Gibbs realized that this was something that Tony was able to do as well; his senior field agent very seldom allowed anyone to see how he was truly feeling, hiding behind the mask of a clown. It was definitely an inherited trait and even after all these years, it was a habit that Tony fell back on more often than not. Many people didn't take DiNozzo seriously because of this, but his ability to make people feel at ease and let their guard down had worked to their advantage more than once. There was so much more to his agent than what he allowed people to see; Tony had even managed to fool his own father over the years.

"So, what are you going to charge me with?" Senior asked.

"To start with? How about assault on a federal officer?"

Gibbs was amazed that Senior actually managed to look surprised. His expression was a mixture of confusion and disbelief; the man could win an award for this performance. It only took a few seconds before Tony's dad was literally seething. "What are you talking about?" he demanded to know.

"I've got evidence that clearly says that you intentionally drugged your son; it was without his knowledge and definitely without his permission, so in the eyes of that law, that's assault."

"That's ridiculous," the older man growled and shook his head defiantly. "You have to understand that I had my reasons for what I did?"

Gibbs smacked the table, his face mere centimeters from Senior's face. He despised the man in front of him and it would give him great satisfaction to use the man as a human punching bag; however, that would definitely hurt the case that he was mounting against Tony's father.

"There is no excuse in the world that can justify what you did!" he roared. "You covered up one son's death and then did your best to force your other son to forget that he ever had a brother! How long did it take you pumping Tony full of drugs before he had no memory of trying to save Adam?"

"You don't know what you're talking about!" Senior bellowed. "I was only protecting him! It wasn't his fault, but his mother…!"

"I don't want to hear it! Save it for your lawyer; all you need to know right now, is that I'm going to make sure that your ass is nailed to the wall!"

The Marine stood up to his full height and turned his back to the older man. He wanted answers but could no longer stand listening to Senior spout his lies; Gibbs had a feeling that Tony's father was incapable of telling the truth and wondered what other lies the man had fabricated over the years.

"You had a daughter, Gibbs!" the elder DiNozzo spat. "Don't you dare tell me that you wouldn't have done anything to keep her safe and save her from any kind of pain! That's all I did! I tried to spare…"

How dare the man try and throw his relationship with Kelly in his face! In one fluid movement, the agent had DiNozzo pinned up against the wall, his arm firmly pressing against Senior's throat. "Don't you ever mention my daughter again," he growled, "_or_ my love for her! You have no idea what I…"

Gibbs gave Tony's father a shove before turning him around and placing Senior in handcuffs. He began to read DiNozzo his rights; he was through dealing with the con artist. After he finished, Gibbs added, "I'll make sure that your lawyer knows where you're at."

Before Senior could reply, Gibbs opened the door and handed him over to the two agents standing outside the door. "Process him," he ordered.

As soon as Tony's father was out of sight, Gibbs leaned against the wall, fighting for control over his raging emotions. He shouldn't have been surprised by the other man's audacity in bringing up Kelly; it was obvious that Senior would do anything to deflect attention from himself. Again, he was amazed that his senior field agent could actually be any relation to such a sorry excuse for a human being. was going to make sure Very Special Agent Tony DiNozzo knew that _he _was the very epitome of a good man.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Tony had to admit that he was more relaxed than he had been since this nightmare had started. Rachel had spent the last couple of hours telling him stories about Kate, especially about when she was a school girl; he loved the image of her in her uniform. It had been a relief not to have to think about his father for a while; he wasn't ready to talk and was grateful that Rachel recognized that fact and let him take the lead.

Rachel had stepped out for more coffee, allowing him a few moments of respite. Everything was so jumbled in his mind and Tony was having a difficult time trying to get everything straight in his head. Why did his life have to be so screwed up? He would make a great head case for Dr. Phil; actually Dr. Phil would probably have more fun dissecting his father's mental and emotional shortcomings. Tony decided that he was probably safer sharing his deep, dark secrets with Rachel. She didn't judge him and the only expectation that she had placed on him was that he didn't stay hidden behind his usual mask; Dr. Cranston was one of the few people who had earned the privilege of seeing the real Tony DiNozzo.

He ran his hand through his hair. "I need a shower," he mumbled to himself, wishing that he had the energy to stand in the shower and let the hot steaming water cascade over his fatigued body. Maybe then, the cobwebs that had taken up residence in his mind would dissipate. Perhaps when Gibbs returned, he could persuade the man to help him into the bathroom so he could take a shower; it wouldn't be the first time that the team leader had helped him take care of more personal matters and given his track record, it probably wouldn't be the last time.

A knock at his door brought him back to the present. Tony looked up to see the last person that he had expected to see. His father's physician, Dr. Mabe, entered his room and made his way over to his bedside; the man seemed nervous, like he wasn't sure if he should be there or not. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I'm getting ready to turn myself in," Dr. Mabe began. "Let's just say that I know your boss's reputation and I figure things will go better for me if I go in willingly."

"You're probably right," Tony conceded. "Still doesn't explain what you're doing here."

The doctor gestured towards the chair. "May I?"

Tony managed to stifle a cough as he shook his head. "I uh…don't think you're going to be here long enough to get comfortable. You probably should just say what you have to say and then go."

"Of course." Mabe walked around to the end of Tony's bed. The agent still wasn't sure as to the purpose of the older man's visit, but he was about to find out.

The physician cleared his throat. "I wanted to apologize for…well, for everything."

"That's kind of a broad apology, Doc."

"You're right," Mabe sighed. "I'm not sure what to say. I am ready to testify to the fact that your father ordered for you to be drugged a few days ago as well as almost thirty-five years ago. If it's any consolation, I think that he did initially have your best interest in mind."

Tony shook his head. "It's not. My father has always looked after number one; the only thing he was trying to do was to save face. If you're here to try and get me to feel sorry for him, you can just leave. He's gone too far this time."

"That's not my intention at all," Dr. Mabe assured him. "I'm through covering for your father; it's time that he faced the consequences of his actions. Actually, it's time we b_oth_ faced the consequences of our actions."

"You won't get any argument from me."

"I think your father is counting on you forgiving him as you've done countless times in the past."

"This is too big," Tony said. "He…" He met the doctor's concerned gaze. "It's just too big."

"When you're ready, I will tell you anything you want to know about your brother, Adam," the physician offered. "You have a right to know about him."

Tony didn't trust himself to speak. He wanted to know everything about the brother that he had no memory of, but he was hesitant to believe any words that escaped Dr. Mabe's lips. After all, he was partially responsible for what happened; why should he listen to the man who used to be Senior's right hand man?

His thoughts turned to Adam. Tony couldn't help but wonder if things would have turned out differently, if he had managed to save his brother. Would Adam have been subjected to the same loneliness and the heartbreak that he had endured, or would they have been a normal, happy family? He suddenly felt sick and was forced to swallow back the nausea that was threatening to overwhelm him. Why was his family so screwed up? Why was _he _so screwed up?

"Why?" he mumbled, not realizing he had uttered his question out loud.

"Why what?" Dr. Mabe pressed.

Tony pressed his palms into his eye sockets, silently willing the images that were scurrying through his mind to stop. He could see the pier and his parents arguing; Tony could even see himself sitting away from them crying, but he couldn't see his brother. Where was Adam? Had he already drowned? Why couldn't even remember what his brother looked like? He had failed Adam, like he had failed so many people in his lifetime.

He blew out a long, drawn out breath and once again locked eyes with the doctor. "I…don't even know what he looked like. I…I…" Tony struggled to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. The last thing he wanted to do was expose himself emotionally in front of the doctor; he didn't trust Dr. Mabe and no amount of confession would change his feelings on the matter. Clearing his throat, he said, "I think that you should go."

"All right," the doctor agreed. "Before I do, I want to give you something."

The agent watched with interest as the elderly man pulled a photograph from his pocket and placed it face down on the table beside his bed. "This is a picture of you and Adam. It was taken about a month before he died. Your mother was a fanatic about having pictures of 'her boys'," he explained. "She gave me this when I had made a house call; Adam had been sick with an ear infection and she didn't want to bring him to the office. She was so protective of him.

"Anyway, I found it in an old box that had been packed up after I retired from private practice; I've carried it with me ever since as a reminder how precious life is and how easily loyalty can be misplaced. The next time I see you will probably be in a court room; however, the offer stands. When you're ready to listen, I'm ready to talk."

The doctor silently headed towards the door. With a trembling hand, Tony reached for the picture and found himself staring at a black and white photograph of two boys sitting side by side, the youngest one holding an old raggedy monkey. He recognized the familiar smile that he bore both now and then, but he couldn't begin to place the face of the younger boy. Tony knew that without a doubt the boy was Adam; he looked so much like their mother, especially during her happier times.

Clutching the picture to his chest, he turned on his side and closed his eyes, not caring that the tears were now streaming down his cheeks. There were no words that could take away the pain that was tearing his heart into; he managed to choke back a couple of sobs, but quickly recognized that there wasn't any use holding his anguish inside. He cried out loud for the brother that he had failed to save. How he wished that he could simply turn back time.


	16. Chapter 16

**Thanks to my awesome beta, AZGirl. Any remaining mistakes are mine. Things get tense in this chapter between Junior and Senior, so fasten your seatbelts…it's going to be a bumpy ride! Thank you all for being such loyal readers! I'm still overwhelmed by the reviews, favorites, and pm's I get! Hope you enjoy the post! Now, I'm off to work on OTF!**

**Part 16**

The next couple of days had been proven to be some of the longest in Tony's life. For the past two days, he had been doing nothing besides sleeping, eating, and thinking. Actually, he had done a _lot_ of thinking. He had spent a great deal of time considering everything that had happened and trying to remember the brother that he had no memory of. Rachel had told him not to push himself to remember, and that given time, his memory would return. Her encouragement had done little to boost his spirits; the frustration he was feeling was starting to wear on his nerves and Tony's desperation to know more about Adam was consuming him.

Now that he was home, he was even more determined to recall his past. Tony had literally spent hours looking at the photo that Dr. Mabe had left him. Adam seemed like a happy child, but he didn't know for sure; sometimes pictures didn't tell the whole story. He had also been going through some other old photographs, including the ones in a box his father had attempted to steal and destroy. Tony had been through these pictures before and had always assumed the dark headed young boy was a cousin or some unknown relative; he never would have imagined that the child in the pictures was his brother.

He carefully placed the cherished picture down on top of the box. Pushing himself off of the couch, Tony made his way to the kitchen and fixed himself a cup of hot tea; Ducky had insisted that he drink tea instead of coffee, citing the relaxing properties of the favored beverage. Tony was grateful, not just to Ducky, but to all his friends; they were truly worried about him and definitely had his best interests in mind. They were willing to help him carry his load, but he had been taught to bear his own burdens. Over the years, he had allowed a few select people such as Gibbs and Ducky, and now Rachel, to help him, but he was still fiercely independent. Tony once thought that he had been on his own since he was basically eight years old, but in reality, it had probably been a lot longer.

Memories of his mom being ill came flooding back; he couldn't remember her ever smiling, but he knew that she used to. In the pictures of her and Adam that he'd seen, she had been smiling then. The only thing he could recall with any clarity was him sitting by his mother's side as she drank herself to death. It was because of him that she had sought comfort in a bottle. Tony hadn't been able to save his brother; therefore, he couldn't save his mother.

The whistling of the tea kettle brought him out of his musings. Fixing his tea, he took a sip as he headed towards his bedroom, deciding that today he was going to talk to his father. He wasn't prepared to forgive his father for what he had done and no amount of fast-talking from Senior would change that. His dad was nothing but a liar, but Tony was determined to get the truth out of his dad one way or another.

Stifling a cough, he pulled out a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. Although he felt better, Tony was still experiencing a few lingering effects of the pneumonia that had plagued him for several days. He was taking his antibiotics, but each time he got sick, it seemed like it took longer for him to bounce back. Ducky and Brad had warned him repeatedly that because of the extensive scarring in his lungs, he would be more susceptible to respiratory problems; he learned very quickly that they had been right; Tony often felt like he caught every cold that made its way around the office.

He probably shouldn't even be leaving his apartment yet, but the desire for the truth pushed him beyond his limits. Tony couldn't stand to simply wonder any longer; he had to have answers. Slipping on his clothes, he grabbed his socks and shoes and sat on the edge of the bed to put them on. Resisting the urge to lay back and give in to his need for sleep, Tony finished dressing and forced himself to stand back up. Taking one final sip of his tea, he headed towards the door.

As he opened the door, he came face to face with Gibbs. Tony didn't bother to act surprised; he had expected the team leader to show up and either talk him out of going to confront his father or drive him to the jail. He hoped it was the latter because he wasn't in the mood to try and convince Gibbs of his need to talk to Senior.

"Hey, Boss," he greeted with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. The Marine could always tell when he wasn't quite up to par.

Leaning against the door frame with his ever present cup of coffee in hand, Gibbs asked, "Going somewhere, DiNozzo?"

"Actually, I was just headed out," Tony replied, knowing that the older man wouldn't be satisfied with his answer.

"I can see that."

"I want to talk to my dad." Tony knew that he didn't have to explain why he was so anxious to speak with his dad; Gibbs knew him better that he knew himself. Sometimes he wished that he wasn't so transparent to the other man, but then again, it was nice having someone with whom he could simply be himself.

He was beginning to get the feeling that perhaps Gibbs had another reason for standing outside his door. The Marine nodded towards the living room. "Can I come in for a minute?"

Tony subconsciously put his hand on his stomach as the knot in his gut seemed to pull tighter. He gestured for Gibbs to come in his apartment, dreading what his mentor had to say. Closing the door, he followed his boss into the living room. Tony could feel the fatigue embrace his soul; he desperately wanted to regain his strength, but his recovery seemed to be moving in slow motion.

"What's wrong?" he reluctantly inquired, holding back a cough.

"Sit down before you fall down, DiNozzo." Gibbs grabbed Tony by the arm and helped him over to the couch.

"I'm fine," he protested.

"Yeah, you look it."

He honestly didn't think he looked _that_ bad. "Thanks, Gibbs. You're sure good for a guy's ego," Tony tiredly quipped as he sat down. "So, what's up?"

Gibbs sat down across from him and set his coffee down on the end table. "Your dad was released on bail earlier this morning. Broke or not, your old man's still got a lot of connections."

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose as cinders of rage turned into flames. Senior had managed to do it again; he had conned his way out of another tight spot and was probably now portraying the victim to anyone who would listen. "How did he afford bail? He can't even afford his freakin' hotel room!"

"I don't know," Gibbs admitted. "The lawyer knows the judge or some kind of political crap like that. The good news is that he can't leave town."

"So, he's still at his hotel?"

The team leader nodded. "Yep. His lawyer's footing his bill. Anyway, I thought you might need a lift."

"You're not here to stop me?"

Gibbs shrugged. "Would it do any good?"

Tony tiredly grinned and shook his head. "Probably not."

"I didn't think so."

"What are we waiting for?" The younger man slowly rose from his seat, taking note of the fact that Gibbs was hovering nearby just in case he faltered. Although he would probably never admit it to the Marine, Tony appreciated Gibbs' protectiveness towards him; it was something that he never received from his father and at times, he still had trouble dealing with the realization that there were people who actually cared about what happened to him.

The two men made their way out the door and down to Gibbs' car. Tony loved riding in the Challenger, not only because it was a classic car, but because it represented a bond between Gibbs and his father; as strained as the bond between the Gibbs men had been at one time, they had moved on and were working on bridging that seemingly impassable chasm that had once existed between them. He found himself a little jealous of the fact that he couldn't do the same with his own dad; unfortunately, his father had no interest in getting to know his son and now would never get the chance.

As Gibbs was driving to the Adams House, Tony found himself considering what he was going to say to his father. He wanted answers and to know more about his brother, but he wasn't sure if he would be able to contain the fire burning inside him. Frustrated that he couldn't organize his thoughts, he raked his hand through his hair and sighed in disgust.

"You okay?" Gibbs asked.

"Yeah," he answered. "Just trying to make sense of the jumbled mess inside my head."

"You sure you're up for this?"

He knew that all he'd have to do was give the word and Gibbs would take him back home, but that would only postpone the inevitable. "No," Tony truthfully replied, "but I don't think I can wait any longer."

"Want me to go with you?"

"You don't have to do that."

"I know I don't, but if you want me to come with you, I will."

Tony thought for a moment. He had always considered Gibbs to be the anchor that he needed to hold him steady throughout the turbulence of his life. The older man had seen him through some of the worst times of his life and he was willing to do so again; it was something that a father would do. "I'd appreciate it, Gibbs."

The silver-haired agent nodded. "I've got your six, DiNozzo."

Tony smiled and laid his head back against the seat as he tried to let the tension flow from his already exhausted body.

"I know you do, Boss. I know you do."

Maybe he could do this. Maybe for the first time in his life, he could actually confront his father and force Senior to take responsibility for his actions. Tony knew that he was about to take that first step towards remembering and healing; he just hoped that he didn't fall flat on his face.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Anthony DiNozzo, Senior was sipping champagne as he lounged on the oversized leather sofa. He had been instructed by his attorney not to leave the hotel and he had happily agreed. Senior was grateful to be out of that dreadful jail cell; he was not prepared to spend the rest of his life behind bars and hopefully, if his lawyer could work his magic, he would get off with nothing more than a slap on the wrist. Of course, his son was determined to put him away, but there wasn't a doubt in his mind that he would eventually be able to persuade Junior to do what was right and drop the charges.

He had been able to manipulate Tony for years and his son had seemingly been none the wiser; however, it was now apparent that Junior was not as gullible as he had thought. His lawyer had advised him to stay away from Tony until things had cooled down. "Well, Junior, you're smarter than I gave you credit for," he mumbled to himself. "But you still can't outsmart your old man."

A knock at his door shattered his premature victory. The only person he was expecting was his masseuse, but it was too early for his appointment. With champagne glass in hand, he rose from the couch and made his way to door. Not bothering to look through the peep hole, he asked, "Who is it?"

"It's me, Dad. Open the door."

He visibly bristled at the sound of his son's voice. Senior wasn't really prepared to talk to Tony, especially without his lawyer. "I don't think that we should talk right now, Anthony."

"I'm not here as a cop, Dad," Tony reasoned. "I really think we need to talk."

"Unless you're dropping the charges, I don't think we have a lot to say to each other."

"I disagree. Now, I can come in or I can stand here and talk through the door. It doesn't matter to me, but I'm sure that security would eventually notice me standing out here and would have to come investigate. Then I'd have to tell them the whole story about how you should be in jail and since I know that the Adam's House is very particular about their clientele, you would have to find another place to stay. So, maybe you should save yourself some trouble and open the damn door."

Senior couldn't help but smile; maybe Junior had learned a few tricks of the trade over the years. He knew that Tony wasn't bluffing; there were two security cameras outside of the penthouse providing the security office with a live feed twenty four hours a day. The Adams House had various dignitaries staying in the penthouse and the cameras were a means of ensuring their safety.

The con man knew that if he wanted to salvage his reputation, he didn't have a choice but to let his son in. When he opened the door, he was greeted not only by Tony, but by Agent Gibbs as well. Senior despised the team leader and the influence that he had over his own flesh and blood; the silver haired agent had usurped his paternal role in Tony's life and he resented Gibbs with every fiber of his being.

"Why is _he_ here?" Senior demanded to know, suspiciously eyeing the Marine.

"Moral support," Tony growled.

"I never thought you were that needy, Junior."

He was surprised that Tony had allowed that comment to slide; judging by the younger man's pallor, Senior couldn't help but wonder how long their conversation would last. However, Gibbs was not about to let him get away with trying to humiliate his son. "It has nothing to do with being needy, Mr. DiNozzo; I just have his back. That's more than I can say for you."

Senior bristled at Gibbs' accusation of neglect. "I raised Tony to fight his own battles," he shot back. "The fact that you're even here just proves that…"

Tony pushed past him and entered the penthouse; Gibbs was right on his heels. "Don't start, Dad," he warned. "Gibbs is here because _I_ want him here."

The elder DiNozzo closed the door and joined the other two men in the lavish living area. He sat down on the couch, his stoic expression hiding the unease that was beginning to filter into his thoughts. Senior knew that Tony wanted answers and he wasn't sure he could provide what his son was looking for; he was going to have to call upon his ability as a con artist in order to save face and stay out of prison. Taking another sip of his drink, he smiled at his son. "As I've already pointed out, Junior, there may be some questions I can't answer without my attorney," he reminded Tony.

Tony refused to look at him, finding a point of interest outside the grand view that his penthouse provided. Senior could see the pulsing vein of Tony's temple as the agent tightly clenched his jaw; he had taught Anthony not to show his emotions, but at the moment, that particular lesson had seemingly been forgotten. The anger radiating from his son permeated the aura of the room and Senior hoped that he wouldn't be the recipient of Tony's fury.

When Tony finally spoke, Senior shuddered at his son's icy tone; the words dripped with venom, but Junior's eyes pleaded for understanding. "I'm not going to talk about what you did to me; that's irrelevant right now. I figure that will come out in the trial."

Senior bristled at the mention of a trial; the last thing he wanted or needed was to have to go trial. He fully intended to settle the matter out of court by agreeing to a plea bargain, but apparently Tony had other ideas. The older man swallowed hard. "Trial? You want to take this minor disagreement to trial? I assumed that we could settle this between us and…"

"You shouldn't assume," Tony pointed out.

He was beginning to believe that his son had lost his mind. Senior rose from the couch, his own ire gnawing away at his control. "I'm your father!" he bellowed. "You don't really expect me to believe that you want to go through the public humiliation of a trial!"

"No, but I will," the younger man coolly replied. "I will for Adam."

"Adam is dead!"

Senior took a couple of steps back as his own flesh and blood turned on him; he wasn't prepared for the daggers of rage that were being hurled at him. "Don't you think I know that?" Tony roared. "He's dead and I couldn't save him! I have to learn to live with that, but what I can't live with is not knowing anything about my own brother! I can't remember him and I need _you_ to tell me about him and _why_ he died!"

Walking around the back of the couch, Senior created some distance between himself and Tony; he didn't enjoy seeing this darker side of his son. "Anthony, you have to understand; I did what I thought was best."

"You always do, don't you? Except it wasn't what was best for me, was it?"

"Yes, it was!"

Senior flinched as Tony's fist met sheetrock. He stared incredulously at the hole that was now below the sconce adorning the wall. "You selfish bastard!" Tony cried out. "You don't care! You don't care that Adam died! All you care about is your precious reputation!"

"Why can't you just let the past stay in the past?" Senior wanted to know. "You can't change what happened! I have spent years trying to make sure that you didn't have to deal with the fallout from Adam's death and you obviously don't appreciate my efforts!"

Tony stalked towards him, clearly intending to pommel him and Senior suddenly found himself grateful for Gibbs' presence. The team leader had stepped in between them, preventing the younger man from striking him; he wondered if Tony would even regret hitting him. "Easy, DiNozzo," the Marine quietly cautioned. "He's not worth it."

He breathed an inward sigh of relief when Tony took a step back and took a moment to refocus. "I think you should go, Anthony," Senior suggested.

"Not until I get some answers."

"Let it go," he pleaded. "It's best for everyone if you let the past stay in the past and forget these ridiculous charges! I'm your father! You can't send me to jail!"

The younger man shook his head, waves of anger and frustration were crashing against the wall that his son kept built around his emotions. "I can and will," Tony shot back. "A father doesn't drug his own son against his will in hopes that he won't remember his brother!"

His eyes narrowed as he struggled with his own temper. Why did Anthony have to be so stubborn? Why couldn't he see that he was trying to protect his only child? Didn't Anthony understand how painful this was for him? If Tony wanted to know the truth, then he would tell him what he wanted to know—or at least most of what he wanted to know.

Senior exploded, his booming voice echoing throughout the apartment. "I didn't want you to remember! I still don't! I didn't want you to remember that your mother was too busy saying good bye to her lover to pay attention to her son! Adam fell in and you tried to save him but it was too late! His body wasn't found until two days later!"

Tony seemed to pale at the revelation. Senior watched as Gibbs helped his son sit down on the couch. He leaned over the couch, his face mere centimeters from the younger DiNozzo. "What's the matter, Junior? Not what you expected to hear? You wanted to know the truth and now you do. Does knowing make a difference?"

The seething man cried out in pain when Tony's fist made contact with his nose. Blood began to pour from his nose, staining his pristine white shirt. He was so consumed with the blinding pain that he failed to see his only child coming over the back of the couch, knocking his feet out from under him. "Junior!" he roared. "What the hell are you doing?"

Tony refused to answer him. Senior swallowed hard as the desperate man grabbed him by the lapels and prepared to deliver another blow. He heard Gibbs call out the younger man's name, forcing the dark haired agent to pull his punch at the last minute. The older man winced as his head made contact with the floor when he was released. "You son of a…!" Tony seethed.

Senior slowly got to his knees, wiping his still bleeding nose on his sleeve. "I did what I thought was best."

He inwardly shivered at the expression of pure hatred that Tony now wore. His child truly hated him and the words that spewed out of his boy's mouth might as well have been poisoned darts that were aiming for his soul. "How can you say that?" Tony shouted. "You forgot about him! You forgot about your son! You made _me_ forget about him!"

Tony had seemingly lost the ability to control his emotions; something that DiNozzos were not supposed to do. Senior knew that he had to gain control of this situation before he ended up on the receiving end of Tony's fists once again. He had a feeling that next time, Gibbs wouldn't bother running interference. "Sit down, Junior," he insisted. "Sit down and I'll tell you what you want to know."

"I want the truth," Tony rasped.

"Fine," he sighed. "Can I at least clean myself up a little?"

"Please do," Gibbs replied.

Senior glared at the team leader and then back to his son. "I wasn't addressing you."

"I don't care," the lead agent fumed. "You've got two minutes; don't make me come after you."

"I'll be right back."

As he went into his bedroom, he could hear Gibbs softly talking to Tony. Senior wanted nothing more than to run, but with Gibbs and Junior sitting in his living room, he couldn't exactly walk out the door. He was going to have to come up with answers that would satisfy his son. The older man was beginning to regret not taking care of all his loose ends many years ago. Hindsight was definitely 20/20 and he was seeing things a lot more clearly now.


	17. Chapter 17

**Again, I find myself apologizing for the delay. I hope that my readers understand that it is not intentional and I hope you don't get too frustrated with me. I had decided that I was going to finish this story before I did anything else and it has taken me a while, in between everything else I have to do, to come up with what I hope is a satisfying conclusion. Being a marching band mom and booster president, the months of September and October are incredibly busy, so between band, football with my younger two sons, work, and staying on top of my housework, my writing time has been limited.**

**Thank you to all my loyal followers! You guys are so awesome for bearing with me. Anyway, I hope that you enjoy this chapter and the conclusion. **

**Part 17**

Tony raked his hands through his hair as he sat on the couch in Senior's hotel room waiting for his father to clean up the blood from the punch the older man had rightly deserved and that he had been more than happy to give. After only a short time of trying to get answers from the chronically evasive and self-absorbed man, his body and mind was completely exhausted; however, he had to remain focused and tamp down the urge to have Gibbs take him back home so he could sleep. Of course, he really didn't look forward to sleeping because of the nightmares that always ensued, but Tony also knew he couldn't deny his body the rest it was desperately craving.

"You okay, DiNozzo?"

Gibbs had been so quiet that Tony had almost forgotten that the Marine was still there with him, but subconsciously, he knew the team leader wouldn't leave him alone, especially now. "Yeah, Boss. I'm okay," he sullenly replied. Of course, Gibbs knew that he wasn't being completely truthful. He could fool most people, including his team mates, but he never could fool the older man.

He cleared his throat and met Gibbs' concerned gaze. "Actually no, I'm not all right," Tony confessed. "But I will be."

"I know you will. Just don't let him get to you."

Tony tiredly grinned as he flexed the hand that had, just a few minutes earlier, struck his father and left a hole in the sheetrock. "Kind of late for that."

"Yeah."

"You know, I thought I quit letting him get to me a long time ago," Tony mused. "After so many broken promises, I guess I kind of stopped expecting him to be a father; I figured that it was a lot easier than dealing with the constant disappointment. I always thought that there was something wrong with me. Maybe there is."

The young man pinched the bridge of his nose, silently willing away the headache that had seemingly taken up permanent residence in his skull. He realized that his last comment would have normally earned him a head slap, but thankfully, it never came. Gibbs had taken pity on him this time and he truly didn't mind.

"There's nothing wrong with you. Now, that bastard in the next room; there's definitely something wrong with him."

"Thanks, Boss," Tony said.

"Anytime."

Before Tony could reply, Senior entered the room. He had changed into a clean shirt and put on his smoking jacket; appearances obviously still meant a great deal to his father. There was a sense of satisfaction when Tony noticed the dark circles beginning to form under his dad's eyes; he had busted his old man's nose and it felt great.

"I think I'm going to have to go to the emergency room," Senior complained as he gingerly touched his nose. "You pack quite a punch, Junior."

"You deserved it."

"That's pretty harsh, son."

Tony visibly bristled at what most would consider an endearment, but coming from Senior, it was meaningless. "You don't have the right to call me son," he growled. "Now, sit down and tell me what I want to know."

His hardened gaze followed his father as the elder DiNozzo sat down across from him. Tony sensed Gibbs move behind him, his stoic silence confirming that the team leader has his six. Leaning forward, he coughed into his shirt sleeve and then turned his attention on the man in front of him. It made him physically ill to look at his own father, knowing that Senior had been lying to him his entire life. "

"Why can't you just let this go?" his dad pleaded. "I've already told you everything."

"Then tell me again. This time, don't leave anything out."

"Junior, I…"

"I'm waiting," he seethed. Tony was so tired of playing games with his father. The time for truth was now and he would settle for nothing less. His gaze was focused solely on his father as his dad began to speak.

"This isn't going to be easy for you to hear," Senior began. "Your brother was four years younger than you and he was the apple of your mother's eye. She loved you both, but Adam was her favorite. But you never seemed to notice; as long as he was happy, you were happy."

So far, Tony was forced to take Senior's word because he had no memory of this time in his life; hopefully one day, he would be able to put together the missing pieces of his childhood. "Go on," he urged.

Senior cleared his throat as he pressed on with his story. "Your mother began having an affair not long after Adam was born and it continued for the next couple of years. I found out about it and told her that she had to end it or that she would lose everything, including custody of you and Adam. She quickly discovered that she loved her money more than her boy toy; I have to admit that she wasn't prepared to lose the two of you either.

"So she decided to meet him at the pier and break it off. Your mother brought you and Adam along and told you to take your brother and go watch the ducks. I guess she thought that it was a good idea to make the breakup in a public place."

Tony closed his eyes against the image of the pier. He could see two boys walking on the weathered wooden planks and then sitting down on the edge. The young man could only assume that the flashes of memory assaulting his mind were of him and Adam. They were laughing as Adam talked nonstop while he was excitedly pointing towards the ducks.

He opened his eyes when he felt Gibbs give his shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Tony?"

"Yeah, Boss," he assured the Marine. "I'm fine." Tony blew out a shaky breath. "I'm actually remembering the dock; it's just hard to…" The headache that was plaguing him was threatening to turn into a full blown migraine. He had to hold himself together a little longer; his father had barely answered any of his questions. "Keep going," Tony insisted.

"If you're sure," Senior said. "I can wait until…"

"No." Tony knew that other than court, this was going to be his last chance to hear the truth and he still wasn't convinced that Senior would tell him everything he wanted to know. He filed those particular memories away, knowing he would have to take the time to process them later. "Keep going."

"Your mother and her…lover were around the corner talking when she heard you scream. She got there in time to see you jumping in after Adam."

Tony swallowed hard. He shuddered as he recalled his body hitting the cold water. It was the same feeling that he had when he had rescued Gibbs and Maddie from their potential underwater grave. In both instances, the immediate chill had nearly paralyzed him. Unfortunately, he hadn't been able to fight against the biting coolness of the water to save Adam, but at least he hadn't failed Gibbs. He wrapped his arms around his frame as he stifled yet another cough, which served as a reminder that he was still not recovered from this last bout of pneumonia.

"I couldn't find him," Tony whispered.

"No," Senior confirmed. "The current had taken him. Your mother's boyfriend got you out before you were pulled under too. Believe it or not, he called me before he thought to call an ambulance. I got there as soon as I could. Your mother was in hysterics and you were crying. I was left to handle things and do what was best for my family."

"And what exactly was that?" Tony wasn't sure that he wanted an answer, but what he wanted and what he needed were two different things.

"I sent you and your mother home with my driver while I made a few phone calls. I made sure that your mother's _friend_ would keep his mouth shut; there were also a few bystanders that had to be dealt with."

"In other words, you had to buy their silence."

"You'd be surprised how easy it is to convince people to ignore a tragedy," Senior snapped.

"Especially if you have enough money," Tony pointed out, not bothering to disguise the bitterness in his voice.

Composing himself, the elder DiNozzo continued, "Then I called for some divers to try and find Adam's body. I ordered them to keep searching while I went home to take care of matters there. I called Dr. Mabe and instructed him to meet me at the house."

Tony briefly wondered what his father had over the doctor that would make the man forgo every moral fiber in his body and go along with Senior's manipulations. "Why did you call him?" he pressed.

"I was scared. Is that what you want to hear? I was about to close the biggest deal of my life; this one would set us up for life. I couldn't afford for it to get out that my wife had been having an affair and that my son had died because of…"

"So you had to save face?" Tony's grief was fading fast, replaced once again by his anger. "So tell me, _Dad_, what exactly were your instructions to Dr. Mabe?" He was tempted to give Senior another busted nose or maybe a broken jaw so he wouldn't have to listen to any more of his dad's lies.

"I had him take care of your mother and you; I didn't want you to remember anything about what happened. It wasn't fair for you to pay for her mistake. Dr. Mabe helped…"

"He drugged me," Tony corrected.

"Just for a while. Just long enough for you to forget."

He used to believe that his dad had a morsel of goodness in him; now that hope was only a passing dream. Tony had finally come to accept that Anthony DiNozzo, Senior, didn't possess an ounce of integrity. "You had no right."

"Can't you see that I was actually looking out for you?"

Did his father truly think he was truly that gullible? "You just said that you didn't want to lose the biggest deal of your life! I really don't think you were worried about me. You need to get your story straight, old man."

"Anthony, you have no idea how…"

Tony clenched his fists. Ignoring his father's attempts to back track, he pressed on with his inquisition, "What about Adam's body?"

"The divers found him down shore. I had him cremated and Dr. Mabe took care of the arrangements."

Tony vehemently shook his head. "I am through with you." He rose from his seat and began to pace the length of the couch. His anger had once again transformed into pure rage. "I can't believe you! You truly believe that you didn't do anything wrong! He was your son and you denied his very existence just because you couldn't afford the bad publicity! You didn't even give him a proper burial! He deserved more from you! You were his father! How can you claim that Adam never existed?"

"I_ know_ he existed, Junior. His memory got buried with the finest attorneys money could buy and over the years, it became easier to claim that I only had one son. I spent a lot of money keeping you and your mother out of the public eye."

"_You_ are a monster and I don't want anything to do with you. It's past time you answered for what you've done. You're going to prison and as far as I'm concerned, you can go to hell."

Senior's laughter made Tony's blood boil. "I'm _your_ father. I don't care how pissed you are at me, you don't have the balls to send me to prison, _Junior._"

He stopped mid stride, the tenuous control he had on his emotions shattering. He roughly pulled Senior up out of his seat by the lapels of his jacket, his face mere centimeters from his father's. "What makes you think that you're above the law?" Tony growled. "I'm tired of cleaning up your messes. You're on your own."

Tony released his dad, not caring that the older man ended up on the floor. He had to get away from his father before he was the one that ended up in prison. Senior was calling out to him, but Tony was no longer listening; he was through listening to the con artist's lies. He was turning his back on his father and truthfully, it was something that he should have done a long time ago.

As he reached the door, he glanced over his shoulder to see Gibbs leaning over Senior, but he couldn't make out what his mentor was saying. It really didn't matter; he was too tired to care any longer. Tony knew that Gibbs had his back and was probably reminding Senior of his sniper abilities. Just a couple of seconds later, he was joined by the team leader and the two men headed towards the elevator.

"You all right, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked.

"Yeah," he sighed. Tony let out a slow breath, trying to allow his wrath to ebb away. "I guess I didn't handle that too well."

"I thought you handled it pretty well. I would've put a bullet in him a long time ago."

He tiredly grinned at the Marine. Although he knew that Gibbs was more than likely joking, there was a serious undertone that told Tony that his friend wouldn't hesitate to shoot Senior if the situation warranted it. "So, what parting words of wisdom did you give him?"

"No words of wisdom. I just told him that his son had more balls than he could ever hope to have and that I hope he enjoyed his time in prison."

"Is that all?"

The two agents entered the elevator. Gibbs pushed the button as he replied, "I may have said something about ripping his heart out if he came near you again."

"You've been hanging around Ziva too long, Boss."

"Nah…I've had that skill since before she was born."

Tony knew that he couldn't refute Gibbs' claim. Although he knew Gibbs better than most, he didn't know a great deal about his time in the military; the younger man also knew that the older man would tell him what he needed to know if the need ever arose. That trust was the crux of their relationship and it was something that both men truly cherished.

"So, what's your next move, DiNozzo?"

"I guess I've got to figure out how to move on. Dr. Mabe brought me a picture of me and Adam when I was in the hospital. When I got home, I had a package from him with the fake certificate and more pictures and a letter telling me what he knew. The prosecutor has offered him a lesser sentence if he testified against my dad; his testimony alone should put him away for a while."

Tony thought back to his father's revelation that he had Adam cremated; his anger at Senior had been so great that he hadn't even thought about asking him where his brother's ashes were at. Not wanting to go back into his father's room, he made a mental note to look through the box that Dr. Mabe had given him. Hopefully, the physician would have included that piece of vital information in the stuff that he had given to him; Tony still had more questions, but he was finally start to realize that he may never find all the answers he wanted. "Anyway," Tony sighed. "I guess I need to go through that box the doc gave me; maybe try to fill in some blanks."

"I want you to take as much time as you need."

Normally, Tony would offer up a protest and try to convince Gibbs that he was fine and didn't need any extra time off. However, he knew that would be a lie; he had to get his head on straight and until he did, he was a liability. He couldn't bear the thought of something happening to his team because he wasn't on top of his game. "Thanks, Boss. A couple of weeks ought to do it."

"Take it a day at a time, DiNozzo."

"That's all I can do, Boss. That's all I can do."

The two men finished riding in silence. As they got off the elevator and exited the hotel, they were greeted by Rachel, who was leaning against her car, sipping on some coffee. As they approached, she set her cup on the hood of her vehicle and then handed the two agents a drink carrier with two more cups. "One with hazelnut creamer and sugar and one straight up," she announced.

"What're you doing here?" Tony asked as he handed Gibbs his cup of steaming brew and then took his own.

"Just happened to be in the neighborhood," the psychiatrist stated.

"Uh-huh," Tony said. He really didn't believe that she was simply in the neighborhood. Kate always seemed to be attuned to his problems and constantly wanted to fix him; Rachel was a lot like her sister and that was probably why he didn't mind her presence.

"Are you all right?" Rachel pressed.

"I will be."

"I've cleared my schedule this afternoon."

Tony grinned. "That's convenient. Is there a chance lunch is involved? I'm buying."

"Absolutely."

"You gonna join us, Boss?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Nope. Got to head back to work, but I'll see you later."

Tony understood the unspoken invitation. Gibbs knew that he would need to vent; although he didn't mind talking to Rachel, the team leader was his ultimate confidante and sounding board. "Want me to bring the beer?"

"Yep."

He and Rachel watched Gibbs walk towards his car. Tony wasn't sure what he had done to deserve the trust and friendship of the team leader, but he was glad that the Marine was in his life. Turning to the doctor, he gestured towards her car. "Shall we?"

"Let's go. I'm starved."

"I know a great Italian place."

She laughed as they got in the car and fastened their seatbelts. "I bet you do."

The conversation on the ride to the restaurant was filled with random topics and Tony was grateful for the chance to not have to think about the circumstances that had consumed him that last couple of weeks. More importantly, he didn't have to think about how he had spent the last hour coming to the realization that his father was nothing more than a complete selfish bastard and that he would never change. It was time to start healing and he knew that he was now ready to take that first step.

**Now, on to the conclusion…**


	18. Chapter 18

**This is it! The final chapter! Hope you enjoy it! Thanks for hanging in there with me on this wild ride! A special thank you to my beta, AZGirl…this story would not have been finished without you! You are an amazing person and an awesome beta! **

**Part 18**

**One month later…**

Tony entered the bullpen early, hoping to arrive before his teammates. He wanted to have to time to get himself organized before he had to deal with his friends' well-meaning inquiries into how he was doing. The younger man had spent the last several weeks coming to terms with everything that had happened; many late night talks with Gibbs and some unofficial sessions with Dr. Cranston had helped him put things in perspective. Even though he had come to accept that he couldn't have saved Adam, Tony had finally realized that he didn't have to live with the guilt that had been plaguing him.

He slung his back pack behind his desk and sat down in his chair. It felt good to be back at his home away from home; more importantly, he was getting back into his normal everyday routine, which was exactly what he needed to do. Tony began looking over the files on his desk, trying to ascertain where he needed to start. "This is what I get for taking a few weeks off," he mumbled to himself, even though he was truly happy to be back.

A cup of coffee appeared on his desk, prompting him to look up from his work. "Hey Boss," Tony greeted.

"Kind of early, DiNozzo."

"Yeah," he shrugged. "I thought I'd get a head start."

"Turning over a new leaf?"

Tony grinned. "Don't worry, I won't be early the rest of the week," he quipped.

Gibbs sat down on the edge of his desk, sipping his own coffee. Despite his constant reassurances that he was fine, Tony knew that the team leader was still worried about him. He certainly had been through his share of ups and downs the past few weeks, but Gibbs had been with him every step of the way.

"You sure you're ready to come back?" the Marine asked.

"Yeah. I _need_ to come back." Tony shrugged as he picked up his cup. "Besides, I know you missed me."

The need for normalcy was overwhelming. He was tired of sorting through memories while being forced to endure the media circus his father's arrest and soon upcoming trial had created. After he had left his father's apartment, the elder DiNozzo had foolishly attempted to leave town. It still amazed Tony how his father thought he was exempt from obeying the law. As a result, his bail was revoked and he was currently spending his time in prison, awaiting his trial.

Tony had been informed by the D.A. that with his and Dr. Mabe's testimonies, Senior was looking at 10 to 25 years. Maybe he should care about the fact that his father was probably going to spend the rest of his life in jail, but after everything that had happened, Tony couldn't bring himself to feign concern. Rumors had been circulating stating that Senior was looking to strike a plea bargain with the D.A., but so far, the older man's attempts at doing so had been rebuffed. Although he was glad that Dr. Mabe had been released on his own recognizance and was facing a much lighter sentence; the physician had really come through for him and Tony hoped that the doctor would get a second chance, not necessarily at practicing medicine, but at life.

Senior had tried to contact him after he had been returned to prison, but Tony refused to speak to him. He was done giving the elder DiNozzo the benefit of the doubt; the man had lost his chance to be a father. The younger man only hoped that the time his dad did spend in prison would teach him a lesson and that he would come to appreciate what he had given up. Who was he kidding? His dad probably wouldn't learn a damn thing; he hadn't in forty years. .

Ever since his father's forced return to prison, Tony had been subjected to questions from the media about Senior's dealings and he had given them the standard 'no comment', but that didn't deter them. They had stalked him for several days until Gibbs stepped in and acted as Tony's official spokesperson and had warned the press to leave him alone. Apparently the Marine's infamous glare could even make the press tremble; either that or they finally decided that he wasn't worth their time.

When he hadn't been avoiding the press, Tony had spent the rest of his time trying to piece together the missing years of his life and that of his brother. He had discovered where Dr. Mabe had buried Adam's urn and was in the process of having it returned to him so he could bury him beside their mom. Tony had also ordered a headstone for Adam and when it was ready, he planned on having a very private memorial service; he needed this closure and he had a feeling that his mom did too. It didn't matter to him that she had been dead for a long time; Tony believed that she deserved to have some peace as well.

Tony had reluctantly made peace with himself and had decided that he would not let Adam's death be in vain. The agent had made a rather large donation in Adam's name to one of the local homes for boys and had started volunteering twice a week. Initially, he had no intentions of doing anything else but making a donation, but the director had challenged him to hang around and see, as she put it, how the other side lived.

He had stayed and after a very rocky start with some of the kids, Tony had fast become someone the boys, especially the older ones, could count on. When Tony knew that he was going to back to work, he had made sure to explain to the staff and kids that he would visit whenever he could. The kids had come to mean a lot to him in just a short time and he never wanted to let them down. Maybe he was trying to make up for not saving Adam, but Tony also knew that they were saving him from a future of constant doubt and guilt.

Now, he was back at NCIS and he was ready to resume the job he loved. Tony had come back for himself, but he was also aware that his real family missed him. His team had constantly checked on him or would sometimes appear with take out and they would simply hang out and watch a movie; his NCIS family always seemed to know what he needed.

"Glad you're back, DiNozzo," Gibbs answered.

"Me too."

The team leader walked to his desk and then returned with an envelope in hand, which he handed to Tony. Puzzled, the senior agent took it and opened it. Inside the envelope was a wad of money which Tony estimated to be close to a couple thousand dollars. "What's this?"

"We took up a collection for that boys' home that you're involved with. Thought you could add it to the donation you made in Adam's name," Gibbs informed him.

Tony was speechless. As he read the list of names of the people who contributed financially, he found himself reeling at not only the generosity of his team, but from everyone in the building; the names on the list included everyone from the night time janitor to Director Vance. "I don't know what to say, Gibbs. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Gibbs started back towards his desk. "Now, get back to work."

Knowing that the team leader didn't want or require a lengthy speech, he simply replied, "On it, Boss." The best way he could show his thanks was to do his job and that's what he intended to do.

He tucked the envelope into the interior pocket of his suit coat and resumed perusing one of McGee's reports. His focus briefly wavered to the new picture frame on his desk; a photograph of him and Adam had earned a special place on his desk. Tony knew that he would have a lot more questions from his friends, but that was okay; he was honored to share what he knew about Adam with his family. They felt his pain and his happiness and they wanted to share in both—just like a family should do.

As Tony continued to stare at the picture, he found himself wondering what it would have been like growing up with a brother. Would they be as close as he and McGee or he and Palmer were? Would he and Adam been more than brothers? Would they have been best friends? It was difficult to tell what his life would have been like. Would he have been a cop? Would he have met Gibbs and come to work for NCIS?

Tony knew that he shouldn't dwell on what ifs. What mattered was the path that his life had taken and the decisions that he made each day and for the rest of his life. He had a family who cared about him and, even with the recent discovery of a brother he didn't know existed, Tony wouldn't trade his NCIS family for the world. Yes, he was still healing, but surrounded by his friends, there wasn't a doubt in his mind that he would be all right.

**The end.**


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